Tamoxigang -the 39th thread ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

cooee ! we're over here - just in case the current thread hit 1000 without our noticing Bring the trolley !

NotJ, rant totally justified. I honestly think the after treatment bit when what's happened to you sinks in is emotionally incredibly tough. I was a weird mix of exhausted and furious too and you have the stress of your scan ahead. Are you on anti-depressants at all? I didn't go down that route, but wish I had now and lots on here have. It takes the edge off it all, so might be worth a go. Doesn't have to be long term. Exercise helped me a lot, so cycling, swimming, running. Whatever even if it's just a walk really lifted me. Not sure what else to say other than, yes it's utterly crap. xx

Trice, will hope you're like MAS too. Skype must be a bit tough and missing the kids and small milestones too. Are you having a few treats along the way?

Glad to hear you're having a good time, Malt. Perfect weather for you. Take that as the best of omens.

Will seek out that Culture Show, MAS. I heard him on Desert Island Discs a while back and he was v.interesting. When are you off on holiday??

Still v.hot here, though I managed to get more than pants on to walk DS to school.

am glad you are in more than pants smee !
Off on Saturday,so a bit anxty about going-though am looking forward to being there as I love it so.

Morning all - am also glad that you are in more than just pants smee .

Nj- I think smee said it all, getting your head around the fact that you can't leave this behind Is incredibly hard. When you add in your horrid work stress, I am amazed you have put up with it as long as you have.

Mas- I remember how anxious you were last year but this time next week you will be there.

Trice- Skype is a mixed blessing is y it? I feel for you as I got left home alone last year. I am hoping it doesn't Happen this year as am fed up of holiday/days out without me tho I can understand that I am a pain to have with them.

Malt- holiday looks great and I do understand the backing off thing but it doesn't last.

Copt- hope you had a great birthday (sounds like you did).

Topsy- how were the steaks?

Waves to ned jchoc lily emin amber ruby and betsy .

I am off to get Physio assessment later- I hope they can help as I don't want to be housebound if I can help it. I also need to work on eating more as my appetite shot to pieces (and dh getting very cross and worried) after not being able to eat much.

I am sorry, apologies in advance for any terrible mental images this may provoke but I have joined the pants brigade too. It is too darn hot in London. I keep trying to do things in the garden then retreating to shady room, which feels all wrong but as KK says it is scorcio. I actually had a neighbour where we used to live who used the south facing room with two outside walls as an office, this was days of landlines being only way to log on to intranets so she could only work in that room and she regularly in summer had to strip off completely to be able to work! I used to wave to her from the garden knowing full well what was behind her monitor

Thanks for all birthday wishes, we did have a lovely weekend and I was spoilt with some very west London trophy wife pressies, I think DDs are trying to stop me standing out as embarrassing mad northerner no chance!

nj rant away, it comes in fits and starts this dealing with what has happened to you. I know a lot of my friends took a huge nosedive mentally when their chemo finished and after all the drama they were left to cope with it all alone.

Very jealous of you and Ned at the seaside, wonderful photos of that gorgeous dawn.

gigs I hope the physio can get you out, I lurve physios, they are heroines. Are you planning any trips to Tesco for when you are up and about?

malt glad you are having good break.

Trice They will soon be home. DDs call that song by the Calling , I will follow whereever you will go my stalker song

Hope emin is feeling better

topsy one thing about my posts is that between chemo brain and dyslexia i have the memory of a very small gnat and will always get about 2 out of 10 for remembering everyone , and therefore make everyone else feel better. I did that at school as well, being bottom is an important social function I think

Waves and hugs to everyone

Ps topsy I do indeed have the body of a woman half my age or is that half the body of a woman my age

I'm going out today to get new passport photos. Passport runs out in September and this is my last chance to get photos done with my hair as it is starting to fall out.
Feeling rather glum about this. DH says it doesn't matter, but he is practically bald. So how to get over the hair loss - yes I shall be well stocked up with muffs Buffs and those rather nice Seasalt handybands, but the idea of losing hair is pretty bad.
Too hot to think about a wig at present, but presuming weather will break when state schools break up, perhaps in a week's time?

I was thinking that about the weather too, Lily. Bound to break as soon as the kids break up. Hair loss is horrid, but I think it's easier once you're through the losing it phase iyswim. muffs buffs are great and you can wear funky hats too. I had chemo through summer and remember getting ridiculously excited when Autumn hit so I could move onto beanie's.

Gig, fingers crossed for physic helping. I love physios too. They are magicians.

Waving to Copt in her pants. I am back down to mine, but have a t-shirt on too. For now...

Agree with smee. After mine fell out I wondered why it had seemed such a big deal, and I barely wore the wig as I quite enjoyed the turban look. I wore a long scarf and twissled the ends up and wrapped them around my head, It was just after 9\11 as well, so I was regularly stopped by security guards! It will come back soon enough and in new and exciting colours and curls....

Also of course according to Nadine Dorries it isn't as bad as alopetia Some nurse she must have been, I suppose at least you would be sure of no head tilting....

lily I know exactly what you mean, I'm struggling a bit with the adjustment at the moment (I got DH to give me a no2 on Friday as mine was coming out by the handful) I've got a few muffs buffs and handybands and also bought quite a few scarves (logic being I can also use these to disguise my booblessness in a few months ). I haven't bothered with wigs as yet. I did first school run this morning with scarf and hiding behind shades, did get a few funny looks, but just ignored them...

gigs I hope the physio helps

EMIN how are you doing?

trice fingers crossed capecitabine works well for you too - have you started on it already? (sorry I lose track, crap memory...)

nj rant away, we all understand where you are coming from :) I feel like I'm building up to a bit of a rant so I might be joining you shortly

giggles at visions of smee doing school run in just pants, now that would get folks gossiping! And now copt is joining in too See what you've started topsy! Thank goodness it's a bit cooler here today.

malt hope you are enjoying the last bit of your hols :)

kitkat how are you feeling today?

I'm sure I've missed loads of people

Betsy - I can remember, for my sins, giving a few funny looks at people in the past - but it was really just working out what the situation must be - no evil intent and with admiration for people getting on with their lives whilst having nasty treatment.

Hi Folks, despite virtually no nausea this cycle I have been really struggling with the heat post chemo. Have basically slept all weekend - on my own now as DH at work and my mum has taken the kids out. Managed a brief trip to tesco to stock up on drinks as am worried that i am dehydrated but generally OK other then feeling very shakey.

Glad those on hols are having a good time although I see that many of us are suffering with the weather. I would love to jump in a pool but as I imagine my hair would float away ( and I have a picc line in) that's just not going to happen this summer .

And to add to my grumps since chemo I have been bleeding - despite the mirena coil (still in until I discuss with onc in 2 weeks) - I thought my ovaries were supposed to shut down not spring into life .

kitkat the sleeping lots could also be the Emend as it is a possible side effect - I know I slept loads and loads the first few days last time and the day after my last tablet I started feeling much less sleepy (marginally better than wide-awake steroid hit I guess )

kitkat, I only took Emend once as I had a reaction, but I seem to remember feeling v.shaky on it. Wasn't that which stopped me taking it, had massive skin reaction, but maybe ask your team if it might be that. Great you've got no nausea though bugger about the period. Your body's bound to be confused. Rest up, you'll climb out of it soon and at least you're two down now.

Betsy, after rocking the scarf look on the school run and beaming defiantly at all head tilters, I can do just pants effortlessly.

True Betsy - I have enjoyed not getting the wide awake steroid effect - hadn't realise that could be due to the Emend

kitkat - v pleased there is not much nausea this time
gig how can we get your appetite back ? Is there anything that you might fancy ? I'm a bit obsessed with melon at the mo, it being to bloody hot. Hope physio thing works out too.
Am wondering whether I should ask to talk to lovely bcn before I go away,for psych reasons rather than medical- I usually do and she says sensible things,though I feel I should manage on my own this time.

'Afternoon all!

Reading through. Waving to all of you.

Got to decide whether to have my yearly mammo and checkup before or after our main holiday. Both have advantages and disadvantages. DH prefers 'before', since he's convinced himself all is well. Which it should be, of course. But if it's not, that's a wrecked holiday. There again, if I delay it until just after the holiday, I won't relax during it. Hmm. Anyone got a spare brain cell for reasoning through this one?

Gig, is it still the mouth/ throat problems that's making it hard to eat? Did they tell you how long until that heals?

Why do you feel you should be able to manage this time, MAS? If you want to talk to her do. She's there for you. Call her or e-mail xx

Amber, that is tricky isn't it? What does your gut instinct tell you? Would it spoil the holiday a bit if you know it's ahead?

I suppose i feel I should be better at the going away thing
amber it's tricky...I think that I would postpone it until after the holiday reasoning that things will always be ahead of one in this life- work/tests/things we dread and try to focus on the present moment during the holiday,so that you'll enjoy each moment properly.

Made a decision; deferring it until after the holiday. That feels like a good decision. Thanks.

for Amber. Good decision. Where are you going??

well done amber

DH is whisking me off on another cruise, to celebrate our 25th anniv and my ancient significant birthday. Greece and Turkey and bit of Italy. Raided savings/busking on street corners to pay for it.

Ooh cracking - you'll be getting your posh frocks out !

Lovely Amber !
Captains table , posh frocks , lovely food , and a few beautiful cities to visit .
What's not to like ?

Beer O Clock here .
Anyone fancy a cold one ???