**TAMOXIFEN 35**the all dancing,fat boy snacking and drugs thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

yoo hoo - over here- bring the trolley...

Gig, that's a sod. I know you were hoping the hip thing wasn't. Did she tell you specifics on Radio, so how much and when?

Hi Gigs, sorry about the need for to have double rads - I am definitely lighting a candle for you. Have never quite understood various refs to boxes (except the paranoia one) so forgive me if not fully understanding - thinking of you.

KK - I know I've missed a whole important chun of your current story - but just want to say I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I think some time to reflect will be good - no point throwing out a relationship of such long standing too quickly.

Love to you both and also Earth, Ashokan and anyone else having a rough time just now. My goodness, all life is on this thread.

gigs bum firmly in place and candles lit, duel purpose, also to warm up because it is freezing outside and just had to water plants in rather optimistically donned this morning shorts (though not ready for flip flops
kk Agree with gigs sadly relationship problems are part of life, and Cancer puts it's own strain on relationships. Plus you deserve support too.

earth I worked as a cleaner in a heart hospital long ago, and got posted to a nissen hut in the ground where they kept all the dementia patients they couldn't discharge because there was nowhere for them to go. It was pretty horrendous though at least the staff all were experienced in handling their problems with compassion. The poo obsession was sadly very common, sneaking behind the chairs in the TV room and one old lady used to make "animals " out of it, like plasticine, and wait until noone was looking and then display them on the rails on her bed, shrieking proudly that it was an elephant or giraffe.... It was a bit wearing but one day one of the old ladies presented me with a poem written out in immaculate Italics, basically saying she hoped that I would enjoy my life as much as she had. It made me realise how easy it was to overlook that they were all individuals. So I hope your complaint will highlight any failures of compassion.

Yep it's paranoia box. Hip nodule is small (about a cm) and zappable but sooner not there.

Meeting onc in 3 weeks so would imagine rads will be a about month or so after that assuming am healing up. No idea if 4 or 6 weeks but as it happens can't go away til August so am thinking in those terms.

Like earth, I just have to remind myself that don't treat if not worth it.

As I said , I was expecting it but would sooner had been pleasantly surprised.

Hoovers choc and Percy pigs - am ok really. I will be back on box shift next week.

It is soo not flip flops weather here Copt .

And ned you need an iPhone.

Absolutely they wouldn't treat if they didn't think it was worth it. I know a woman who has had bone mets - just a couple for 10 years. They treat every so often and they shrink. She's fitter than me. Am on the box, with a box of matches. Seems more fun than candles. xx

Evening all

ash we are going to a tiny place called Porthcothan which is 5 miles north of Padstow. I have been there at least one a year since I was 5 years old. If you have FB, there is a photo of the beach at Porthcothan as my cover picture. Both my mum and dad's ashes are scattered on the beach - its a very special and magical place and I am so glad my boys (and previously my stepchildren) have been able to share it.

ned you DO most CERTAINLY need an iphone !

earth you are so compassionate complaining on that lady's behalf, I heard a few mutters about someone on my ward too ... mind you she was shouting "Isaaaaaaaaaaac .....get me a plant pot to piss in" all night ! I hope you pain gets sorted

gigs I just don't know what to say - i DEMAND that the hip is sorted and that you have no further problems.

KK, I am so sorry you find yourself with these worries regarding your marriage. I really have no advice but will hand hold willingly until you come to some resolution that will hopefully see you happy whichever way it all turns out. I was married (for 15 years in the end) but it had taken me a looooong time to realise that I wasn't actually happy being married to him but it was easier somehow to pretend all was well ..... I lived like that for years and when I decided to leave, I never looked back

Copth sounds like your DH has been a bit of an arse too ..... like topsy always says "it must be the moon phase"

mas wish you had not brought up Walnut WHips, I am craving one now and can't get out as the kids are sleeping and DH at work !!

figgy I hope there is encouraging news

everyone else ..... I hope I have not missed anything important

but wow you ladies have all been very busy chatting while topsy and I have been out on maneouvres.... today's escapade involved visiting the cargo depot at Belfast airport to retrieve the vouchers to get Butlins booked, visiting a shopping outlet and buying a pair of shoes each and eating a delicate pretty big lunch !

I went to the hospital this morning for dressing change and drain change and nurse Ratchett was a little more heavy handed ... I have actually renamed her Nurse Fuckwit as she did not put the drain in properly (again) and it had to be repositioned (again). Nice nurse was also there today and a wee student so at least there was a bit of craic.

Butlins now book and both DSs are really excited, I managed to get a brochure today from the travel agent and they have been fighting over it to see all the fun things they can do. I always feel better when there is a holiday on the horizon somewhere.

Gawd, that was some post !

I am sorry for your niece, they seem to be departing from the principle that they are levelling the playing field. Are you sure niece's school is pushing it sufficiently. What seems to have happened is that exam boards have a computer system that will only automatically give extra time if certain scores are well below average. However if you submit the application with sufficient supporting evidence of need to a human being they seem to be allowing a proportion of applicants but effectively on an opaque basis. Little Copts school is now putting together a file of evidence of need including getting all the documentation from her previous school as well as from her current teachers and we are getting an updated Ed Psych report but what parents and schools have the will and resources to do that, especially with a month to go to the exams?

I had a poor old dear on my ward once , who rang the buzzer every 5 minutes all night long ( urine infection , very confused poor lady)
She had the poor night staff run ragged .
Till the last time she buzzed and asked "nurse , am I on fire?"
I didn't say "not yet" and make the nurse snort

Gigs if you are trying to make up excuses to stop me coming to That There London for a big Tamoxifen piss up in a karaoke bar meet up , then think again lady !
Double rads ?
Will take more than that to keep me off a plane !

Budge over on the box , woman with ample arse needs a sit down .

Had a lovely day today with HND
She made me buy shoes .
You all know how much I hate buying shoes ...

Sending out a special hug to each and every one of you tonight .
Think it's def needed .

Earth I genuinely laughed out loud at "I've shit ma pants"

And finally Ned - get a bloody iPhone

Hi Everyone, can I join?
I am reeling from diagnosis of lung mets this morning. It is exactly five years and one month from my initial diagnosis (mx clearance, chemo, radiotherapy, tamoxifen) and now I am going to have to start chemo again.

I am snuggled up in bed with my lovely sensitive 7yo dd - she knows I am poorly and sad and was trying to fix me.

My family have all been telling me I am brave and a fighter. I can understand the cancer tourrets reference. I am not brave, I am fucked up. And I will never see my children grow up and my darling beloved husband will have to grow old without me. I bloody hope I have a little more time.

Hi Trice
Sorry you are here .
It's a shitty club to belong to , even though we are all wonderful !

If you have any questions at all , feel free to ask . There's a few of us now with secondaries .

Give yourself chance to absorb the news first . It's one hell of a shock isn't it ?

Once that's sunk in , we can definitely help you fill in some of the details .

Brief synopsis of me .
Mx and nodes clearance .
Diagnosis of lung mets .
Chemo .
Rads .
Presently in spontaneous remission and treatment free (apart from ct scans every 3 months)

Thanks Topsy. I am not sure how to deal with my new reality. It all feels like a bad dream.

Remission would be wonderful, but I don't dare hope yet.

Morning All

Awoken early by a sudden and urgent need to pee < extremely old lady gimmer>

Trice I hope you got some sleep last night .
Has your Onc told you how many lung spots or whether they are in both lungs ?
Has he/she spoken to you about the possibility of cyber knife ?
Ambers our resident stats queen and info guru . I'm sure she'll be along soon to give you some ideas .

I totally get how you feel about your DD and DH .
My DD was just 8 when I was told I had secondaries , my son was 11 .
I thought my heart would literally break .

Stick with us , we'll help as much as we can x

Off to Tesco this morning with HND
Anyone need anything walnut whips by the bucket full ?
Then it's the wool shop .
And I think we might squeeze a spot of lunch in ...

Hoping Figgy and Mr Figgy are ok , I haven't missed an update have I ?

Anyone else with apts today ?

Ooh , bizarre strike out there !

Kk, going to bed at silly-o'clock is very rude of him. No spare room?
Trice, grr re lungs but science is catching up with this stuff. V close to converting most cancer to a long term nuisance. Meantime, have a cuppa Will have a stare at latest on lung nifty stuff later.
Interviewing for teachers all day. That'll be a laugh. Poor them !!

For amber and anyone else? I need it as big gig playing jack in a box in the night in and out of our bed. But feeling ok about the rads-at least doing things . Also topsy rads no bar to drink upmeet up so that is still on .

As am feeling better you can put matches down as dont burn the trolley.

Trice-so sorry that you are in mets club too. I was dx with lung and bone mets a year ago from soft tissue sarcoma(lung in remission following chemo, currently zapping some pesky bone mets). I also thought my heart would break (my dds are 4 and 1) but you do adapt.

Give yourself to grieve and come to terms with it as it is is necessary (and no denying its undeniably shit). This was advice of topsy and she is right. Treatment is moving on that it really is something that can go for years.

Hnd and topsy-well of your trips. Are shoes leopard print?

I am going to try a stroll to shops round corner today. But better go as mini gig has my make up which could get messy.

And hugs for kurri- is stupid bedtime cos of that online game?

Blue suade loafers Gigs
Will post pic on Facebook .

They are very lovely

oh yes, they are very lovely shoes topsy
gig so sorry you have to endure 2 lots of rads - not fun at all.
The M&S walnut whips were nicer,in my opinion ,than the proper ones- the choc was nicer anyway. I may need to check again though.
kk am so sorry about all this stuff with dh - a big hug for you xxx
Am certainly up for a lovely meet-up
trice this is a horrid shock for you and very difficult to get your head around I know- I am still trying to after 7 months- I was diagnosed with multiple lung mets across both lungs and am having chemotherapy at the moment. amber the stats queen will update current info.

At least doing rads at same time and one on hip is small/ not tricky area so should be ok.

Neck may get stiff so they mentioned steroid injections. I am ok as between dr lovely and onc I know will be ok. It's just the bone crunching tiredness you get with rads but all the more reason to rest in garden (hope we get sun).

Mas- I haven't forgotten about photos but need dh to help (and find an excuse so doesn't notice ones if him) but I know you have tons on so hope you don't mind wait.

Do waitrose do walnut whips?