**TAMOXIFEN 35**the all dancing,fat boy snacking and drugs thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

yoo hoo - over here- bring the trolley...

KK that does sound big and serious. And very, very sad. I know you're not one to jump in though, so imagine it's been brewing for a good while. But I really hope you can sort it out and reach some kind of understanding that means you don't have to hit the buffers, after all this time.

Adding my fervent hopes again for Mr Figgy.

Smee - it's pretty cold here, too. But a quick look at the weather forecast for the BH weekend and for next week shows the promise of some actual warmth, so I'm keeping it all crossed.

Any walnut whips left? I've just had a very virtuous salad so am just about ready and eager to start scuppering my latest dieting attempts, if anyone's got anything at all fattening....

Good morning (just) all feeling a tad better today after yesterdays wee meltdown[blush)

I am sorry KK it seems sometimes too much when all isn't well on top of everything else.

This morning I have written a letter of complaint/concern to the hospital.
While I was in one of the other ladies was suffering a broken hip as well as dementia. The poor soul was in a terrible state, she had no idea where she was, or what had happened to her and some of the staff(not all) wern't very nice to her. She did, I must admit become wearing after a while, calling out constantly etc but the general mocking of her was downright cruel at times as was the ignoring her. I was, at the time feeling sorry for myself so shamefully, other than a mild protest at her treatment, said nothing, she has been very much on my mind since I came home, hence the letter. I am dithering as to whether or not to sign it knowing I could be back there at any time myself.

The letter will have more impact if I do won't it.

Thanks all. I am just feeling very numb about it all atm, and can't really think properly, - things are very hard because he finds it so hard to communicate and say what he means, and then he says things which (I hope) he doesn't mean, but it is all such hard work.
I don't know if we can sort it out, I don't know if I've got the energy to try, I'm just so tired of it all.

Give us a walnut whip someone, I need a fatty snack or ten.

Hi Earth, glad you're feeling stronger.

It will have more impact if you sign it, I'm afraid. It is very, very kind of you to be so concerned about this lady when you have so much going on yourself. Poor little old thing (her, not you )

Hi KK. Right, well I'm off to M&S in a sec so I can stock up on their own brand ones if you think those are OK? (let's face it, they're chocolate so they can't be too bad)

Darling kk I'm so sorry to hear that things have got so bad with dh - I too don't know what to say or suggest that might be helpful but can offer my hand to hold and much love.
earth it's tricky, but I guess signing would have more of an impact.
I am resolutely in my flip flops and will shortly go out ....really sunny here, but chilly wind.
There are some M&S walnut whips left - I bought them to compare and contrast with the real ones.

Earth - have you tried contacting PALS for advice?- they might be able to help, and they are confidential so it might be possible to get the complaint investigated without your name having to come into it (I'm guessing here, as I have no experience of this, but it might be worth giving them a ring and explaining the situation) How kind of you to look out for the old lady, - very that she was badly treated.

How did your meeting with the nurse go yesterday - was it helpful? - I hope so.

Sometimes - any kind of walnut whip (or chocolate based foodstuff) should do the trick

MAS - brave to be in flip flops, - it's freezing here!

Thank you for hand holding. xx

Excellent idea re PALS KK, why didn't I think of that doh!

It was a good meeting, I cried Dh had to leave us before the end so just the two of us chatting somehow made it easier to let go.

She is putting my case before the panel thing which discusses and tries to help patients, she feels my medication may be wrong and that the pain is nerve based. She promised to ring this afternoon or tomorrow morning as the panel was this morning. I am holding my breath in the hope that changing medication will help this awful pain.

I asked Dh to put a pair of socks on me at bedtime because my feet were cold, of course halfway through the night I was boiling hot and trying to take the damn things off without causing pain was awful.

Afternoon all I don't actually like walnuts, so if that key ingredient is missing, then all the better

kurri my love, what a difficult time for you. Feeling so much for you at the moment. There is nothing I can say to make it any better but know that you are in my thoughts as you struggle with DH. Could DS or DD be any help, although I am sure that you wouldn't want to burden them with it all. Rant on here if you need to, we can all listen and support. Sending you massive hugs x x x x

Earth sorry, hadn't said hi yet, but it does sound like you need something pretty radical to be done to help the pain. Got everything crossed that they can come up with a better solution for you x x

What news of MrFiggy? Anyone know what time the appointment is? I don't think figgy said.

smee its pretty cold here - possibly colder inside than out have sent DS to school in shorts (his choice) so I hope very much that hypothermia will not have set in by 3pm. . .

MAS you clearly have hardy feet. Mine would be blue as anything if I was in flipflops!

Have discovered that my mobile contract runs out on May 14th and then I can get an upgrade - I need an iPhone, don't I?

KK That is a big thought, do you think though that DH may be making you feel that way because he is feeling defensive and needs time to digest what has been said? DH will often be defensive in discussion and then after he has had a chance to think through the reality and potential consequences of what has been said realises that things have to change (for a while ) or is it you that feels end of road?

Must say I just cooked DHs tea and went off to bed at 7 last night because he was being arsey this weekend and after not sleeping on Sunday night I really wasn't in the mood for any more of it. Feeling better and stronger today after a good night's sleep.

Bigger worry though is that Little Copt's new school are asking for all sorts of back up evidence for extra time because they have tightened up the rules. Her AS exams start in 12 days and it is a rotten trick that suddenly there is even a possibility she won't get it. She gets anxious when it comes to exams because she finds them so tiring and frustrating and this is just adding to it, and she had a panic attack last night. We go to the Ed Psychs on Thursday (who are overrun apparently so she is not the only one, fg s*g c**g - not a word but we dyslexics are good at making up appropriate words- stupid Gove) and I can't believe it won't be justified, HUGE gap between ability and processing and memory and speed is the bottom 10% of population, her teachers have always been clear she needs it)

gigs Sorry it wasn't such a good night. Everything always seems to start to ache when you get home. I always think it is the worst bit, in hospital you are a bit out of it and fed up with all the attention but then you are on your own for the longest achey and hardest work (physio etc.) bit of recovery. Plus you overdo it because you just want to be normal again. I bet that shower was worth it for the morale, the smelliness and stickyness of hospital is almost worse than the hard beds.

Being a long way from where they want big gigs to be in Reception in one of our prep schools really isn't something to worry about. Children develop at different times and maybe she just isn't ready for where they want her to be or maybe she is just cussed but I really wouldn't worry if she doesn't fit their template for the road to the 7+/11+, which in any case is as much the product of interaction with the alpha mums as actually what the schools look for at 7 and 11. I can assure you wilfulness does not preclude you! One of my friend's DD got into you know where from Ibstock and they certainly wouldn't have even been using the same GPS!

I've written an essay, waves and offers hand holding for all who need it, I longed for Butlins too, but got caravans in wet fields in Wales or Lakes

and I only really came on to prevent an attack of Cancer Tourettes at someone moaning on Facebook that they were having to have 8 injections for a bicycling trip to Africa to raise funds for Breast Cancer charities, "the things you do for charity", nothing to the things you do when you get Cancer, dear, and she was around when I was having treatment (she had a bit of a crick in her neck at the time)

Flipflops, MAS?!

Earth, good on you for writing the letter. I agree with the PALs suggestion. Can't harm to contact them first. Pain in night sounds horrid. Hope you're doing better now.

Waving enthusiastically to that cruel mother Ned. Yes you definitely need an iPhone.

Can I tempt anyone from the walnut whips to a Tunnock's wafer? Virtually no calories. unless you eat 6

I am in flip flops but not actually left the house . Am doing ok smee - trying to balance rest and not overdoing it as arm was sore in night which may be sign to be careful. And I completely agree that big gig is an age/personality thing ( hnd it's interesting you say how disruptive hospital was)as has done this when here/not. We will get there but it's never a quick fix is it?

Kurri - it must be very draining at best of times without dh condition complicating it.

Earth-I think pals is a great idea. I really hope can sort your pills- the nerve painkillers really helped. I smiled at wanting up change socks as I have same issue that anything round shoulders or head is a military operation to put on.

x-posted with you, Copt. Your poor DD. My dyslexic niece has been told no extra time, but she's not at such a critical stage as she's yr10, so has time to get her head round it. DS only 8, but we clearly have all this to come. Bloody Gove. Man's an idiot.

That woman on her bicycle sounds like she deserves a bit of Cancer Tourettes.

Gig, could you be doing a bit too much too soon maybe? Take care now. BigGig still so v.little. Do you think the school's maybe too strict or about right? They vary so much I know.

Gosh, this moves fast!

Figs ? yay for clear biopsy! You would have got through it, but it must be such a relief to only deal with one set of cancer at a time. I couldn't imagine a double whammy.

Earth ? hope the pain settles soon. Friday does seem like an eternity. Sorry to hear about the woman in the same room, it seems ridiculously silly to make fun of her within earshot.

Gigs ? hopefully comfy bed means more sleep, more healing, and more everything getting better, even if it's hard going to get there.

The plan for inflammatory is apparently the same as for advanced local at this stage. The standard here is FEC and I've been on EC, but I've asked to go on the triple whammy. I meet the surgeon on Wednesday. Anything I need to ask her? I'll have a masectomy and there will be radiation afterwards. I'm ok with not doing reconstruction, at least at this time. I might change my mind in the future....

Oh no smee it will be your fault You'll probably be able to see.......

I xposted lots of people.

earth I do hope they get the pain sorted out. It does seem as gigs says to be a bit of an art rather than Science knowing what will work . I accompanied a friend to a pain specialist who was famous for sorting out people's deep seated chronic pain problems and it was quite an eye opener but there is allsorts they can do if the usual regimes don't work.

Plus I have a spare Betty if that would help

Ned Get an iphone or I have got a new Galaxy something or other that does the same things. I am in love as you may have noticed on Fbook It is just going to drive me to the park and walk the dog......

KK I have every sympathy with getting tired of it all, I actually hadn't read your comment when I made mine. However best to give things time so you can get things in perspective and give him time to get his thoughts straight too. Perhaps the possibility you may actually be too tired of it all will concentrate his thoughts on the fact things need to change ......

smee I have done it, she is facist leader of very serious rowing club who commands absolute loyalty, so I expect hate, or maybe just passively aggressive hate, posts

Go, Copt!!! sounds like she more than deserves it.

Sparkle, I had everything thrown at mine. Not inflammatory, but it had got into the nodes, so had mastectomy + nodal clearance, chemo, rads and now on Tamoxifen. Hard work, but it's best in a way. If they give you reduced treatment you never know it might miss a stray cell or something. This way it blitzes the bastards! Will have a think about any questions for surgeon and post if I think of any.

Just got a call to offer me a nice work project. Yay!

Ooh a big YAY for you, smee

Glad the Macmillan nurse came up with some good ideas, Earth. I hope she can help you with the pain, that's so draining.

I've brought a fresh stash of walnut whips -does anyone know if they still make the coffee ones? I hate coffee but a coffee walnut whip is the very best thing.....

No you see, coffee walnut whip's all wrong. I'll keep going with the Tunnocks.

Earth, grrrr about the pain. Keeping everything crossed for something far more sensible than this. I'm assuming your team have looked at the pre- trials for "Jagged1" therapy? Merck & Co. has developed one such experimental drug known as a gamma secretase inhibitor (GSI). It stops bone mets. Might be worth asking Merck if they are at a Trial point or would like to do a pre-trial test? Risky, but they'll soon say if it's too early for them to want to give it a whirl.

KK, heck re DH. Logic and emotions happen on different days with us lot, so logic on day one isn't of use until emotions catch up the next day/a few days later. Infer nothing right now, if possible. Sending a hug and cuppa.

Hi all. Waving to those wrestling with all sorts of stuff. Recovering from the wild weekend. out.

M&S make all sorts of Walnut Whips. Worth a rummage.

aw thank you Copt, BCN says she'll order me one (large of nork) Just had dreaded physio on phone, she's coming out on Thursday, how I grew to hate their cheery faces while in hospital. I know its their job but seriously, the day after a two hour major op with buckets full of anaesthetic (sp) still hanging around making me queasy

I told her I didn't feel up to it that day "well ok" she frowns "but I'll have to write that in the book" oh no, not.the book

Dh reminded me earlier of an incident with my poor old lady that had us all in stitches, she had been calling out and pressing her bell over and over and been ignored. She had a funny little sing-song tone to her voice especially when she got into full swing and she shouted out

"please, can anyone help" again and again, eventually someone shouted back at her "what do you want now" The sing-song voice with a kind of wicked glee replied "Ive shit ma pants"

after a nanosecond of silence one of the visitors began to chuckle, and oh lord how that chuckle grew and grew

I can honestly say it was the one and only time I really laughed in almost a month.

Bless you Joan, get well soon x

thanks all, - I don't want to harp on about my problems, because that's not really what this thread is for and I don't want to put anyone off talking about cancer DX because there's a load of my posts about relationships!
Suffice it to say - your support means a lot to me. I think the advice to take it slowly is good, there's really no need to rush any decisions, we've been together 30 years, we can out up with each other for a few more days or weeks!

I don't know why he says the things he does, they are very hurtful, then he says they've 'come out wrong' so maybe I should make more allowances. I think defensiveness does come into it Copt. He seems to think he's under attack all the time - any request is seen as a criticism.

Part of the problem for me has been lack of sleep - he doesn't come to bed until the middle of the night and he disturbs me and I can't get back to sleep - so am struggling on a two or three hours a night - and it makes me emotionally a bit fragile.

amber - you are a treasure, and I listen very much to what you say - I feel very lucky to have someone who can give me insight into his possible thought processes and I will take on board what you say xx

Anyway - enough about me already!

Earth - oh dear to being in 'the book' your card has been marked!
hope the pain meeting comes up trumps and they sort you out asap. Also hope the new nork arrives swiftly.

yay for new project Smee - well done you.

Sparkle - good luck with surgeons meeting, it's good to know that they are throwing everything at the bastard.

Good luck with tackling school Copt .

yes you do need an iphone Ned

Gigs don't over do things, and good luck with parents evening.

I am going to a talk on wildlife photography tonight, - I'll be glad to get out of the house I think.

Kurri - enjoy the talk.i think taking or slowly is a plan. And don't feel can't talk-I like thread as it is about us as people not just a dx and life does continue .

Smee- yay re project . I think you are right About overdoing it or doing things that haven't done much of ( stairs, sitting up, acting as a badger climbing frame). Am not stinting on pain killers now.

Re big gig, I think school are being tough but it's with our consent as I think it is only way ( big gig is strong willed). She doesn't seem unhappy tho so I don't think it's Ott. Copt - all you say is comforting ( it is nice you understand it all) and I am not seriously worried. But for little Copt - that is just pure fuckwittery. Sorry dh not helping your stress levels .

Mas- have we got a conclusive view on m and s. v. Original walnut whips? You would be Proud as been overdosing on yoghurt today as its good for me.

Earth- physios can be right pieces of work can't they? Hope you get new drugs so we can compare side effects . We can also see who can change socks quickest .

Amber- you are so Good on your info. I had no idea about any of that.

Waves to sparkle , ash and sometimes

Pass the - just spoken to onc. She was nice but it's double radio for neck but also tiny spot on right hip ( the niggle have had). Am not surprised but bit - can we do a candle and box sit that this can be it for me .

But have official medical endorsement to put weight on so opens mouth by the trolley .