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Original poster

my partner has just been diagnosed with cancer

179 replies

tjacksonpfc · 13/05/2006 09:19

my partner haas just been diagnosed with colon cancer weve got to see a specalist next week and i dont no how we will cope he didnt want to tell me at first as he was scared i would leave him. our dd is 22 months and our ds is 6months

OP posts:
throckenholt · 11/08/2006 10:29

try and make friends with your MIL and help each other through what is an awful time for both of you. Being at odds with her won't help at all.

Explain that maybe your DH wanted it like as link with his genes and someone tha tcreated him but he never had a chance to know. It is no disrespect to his step father - he had his whole life to share with him - he never had that chance with his real father.

And say you are sorry to have forgotten to giv emoney for flowers for your FIL - tell her you are struggling to cope with the day to day and the enormity of the change in your life. She should understand that because she is going through it twice over for her son, and her husband, and has been through it twice before (poor woman).

Tell her you think it would help everyone if you could pull together to help you all through this, and make the best future you can for your children - and keep alive the memory of the family they have lost.

throckenholt · 11/08/2006 10:31

and for you - try and cut out the drink - maybe go for a walk when you feel the need - the fresh air and exercise will help wear you out and help you sleep better.

Take one day at a time.

CheesyFeet · 11/08/2006 10:37

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling.

Throckenholt has some great advice, but I wanted to add, maybe you could put it all in a letter so you could explain exactly how you feel without interruption or fear of immediate reprisal?

Thinking of you and your kids. There is always someone around on here to chat to you when you need it.

Spagblog · 11/08/2006 10:52

You've made it through some really tough events. Have you had any help from the GP? Do you have close friends to sit with you?
I am so sorry that this has happened and I hope you don't have to struggle alone.

zoeuk1 · 11/08/2006 13:16

i dont think you should apologise to anyone for anything! i have no idea how i would cope if i were in your situation. i really feel for you.

funinthesun · 12/08/2006 19:56

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with yo and your children

anniebear · 12/08/2006 20:33

so sorry to read this

I read your thread back in May

Really sad

I will be thinking of you and your children

zippy539 · 12/08/2006 20:46

tjacksontfc - I don't know what to say. I am so so sorry. Thinking of you all. Keep posting, please.

swedishmum · 12/08/2006 22:05

What a horrible time for you. I hope you manage to sort it out with your mil. There has been some great advice on here - I think I'd be tempted to write a really friendly letter too but pointing out your partner's wishes very very clearly. Do you have someone you can scream and shout at? Where are you in the country? I'm in the SE corner if it's any help - feel free to CAT anyway. Hope your little ones are doing OK - your mum sounds great with them.

longwaytogo · 16/08/2006 21:20

Just wanted to add deepest sympathy - you need to look after yourself so much. Are the girls far away from you? Maybe you could do some normal things together - I know that this isn't a normal time but just getting out for a walk sometimes helps. Please speak to your gp/health visitor they should be ableto put you in touch with some help.

Where are you? Hopefully someone will be close by to give you a shoulder to cry on

EllieK · 16/08/2006 23:09

so sorry x

hovely · 16/08/2006 23:11

still thinking about you after reading your original post and the thread afterwards
so sorry to hear this
hope you are getting through OK and managing to do what you and the children need
do whatever it takes, but you may feel better for getting outside every day
(it really, really does get less painful but it takes a while)
x

horseshoe · 17/08/2006 11:03

Ive just seen this and really need to express how sorry I am for you and your girls. I dont know what else I can say only that please take care of yourself and I'm thinking of you. xxx

MarsLady · 17/08/2006 11:28

I'm sorry for your loss I've just seen this thread. I pray that you find peace and that you are surrounded by people who are caring for you.

seb1 · 17/08/2006 11:33

So very sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your children xxx

CaptainDippy · 17/08/2006 13:34

I am so sorry tjacksonpfc - I don't "browse" mumsnet much, but a friend directed me to this thread earlier today. Thoughts and Prayers are with you as you struggle to make sense of your life right now. Take strength from your beautiful children and enjoy every precious moment of their little lives - Be thankful for the life that your DP lived and the love that he had for you and for your children. Keep posting here - there are lots of people who are thinking of you and praying for you and who you can talk to. [hugs]]

Joolstoo · 17/08/2006 17:49

so, so sorry to hear your very sad news.

essbee · 17/08/2006 23:49

Message withdrawn

Yorkiegirl · 19/08/2006 19:30

Message withdrawn

Cam · 20/08/2006 11:58

Tj, I'm extremely sorry to read your news on this thread, please sign in, I'm worried about you.

anorak · 20/08/2006 12:39

I also missed this before, would like to add my condolences, it's so so sad

UrsulatheSeawitch · 20/08/2006 12:41

And me - very very sad for you and your children, tj

Also and that your MIL has made things so much harder for you.

kimi · 20/08/2006 16:34

((((hugs))))

jaamy · 20/08/2006 23:38

I wish I could say something that would help but I have absolutely no idea how I would cope in your situation, tjacksonpfc. Get in touch with yorkiegirl, you may be able to help each other through some very tough times. Take care

Twiga · 21/08/2006 12:18

Directed here from the prayer request thread - so sorry to hear your sad news, thinking of you and the kids x

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