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Original poster

my partner has just been diagnosed with cancer

179 replies

tjacksonpfc · 13/05/2006 09:19

my partner haas just been diagnosed with colon cancer weve got to see a specalist next week and i dont no how we will cope he didnt want to tell me at first as he was scared i would leave him. our dd is 22 months and our ds is 6months

OP posts:
macwoozy · 15/05/2006 09:00

I'm so sorry to hear this, what a terrible thing to go through. I wish you all the luck today with the consultant.

hulababy · 15/05/2006 09:05

So sorry to hear your bad news. Good luck when you go and see the specialist.

PanicPants · 15/05/2006 09:09

So sorry for you and your dh, hoping you hear some positive news when you see your consultant. xx

fairyjay · 15/05/2006 10:01

Sorry for what you're both having to go thru' - I understand that this is one of the most curable cancers, and if he hasn't been ill for a while, hopefully it will be fully treatable.

Esmummy · 15/05/2006 10:11

Shit tjacksonpfc :( How terrible.
Cannto even begin to think what you and your DP must be going through, a living nightmare I should imagine.

So sorry :(

Esmummy · 15/05/2006 10:13

Just caught up and realised you are at your appointment now. Finger crossed you come away armed with as much info as possble.

Original poster
tjacksonpfc · 15/05/2006 11:58

hi all we have just got back from hospital and they have told us that it is more advanced than we thought and in more of his body than his colon so they are starting chemo on thursday and we will take it from there thanks for all your kind words.

OP posts:
Esmummy · 15/05/2006 12:14

tjacksonpfc I really don't know what to say. How is your DP bearing up ? Has this news knocked you both for six ? Did they spend lots of time with you completely explaining the whole situation and what your options are.

Am so so sorry

fairyjay · 15/05/2006 12:21

Don't know what to say that will help, but really thinking of you all.

Esmummy · 15/05/2006 12:54

Just wanted to bump this back up in Active Convo's

martian · 15/05/2006 22:30

I'm so sorry to hear that news. You poor poor things. How is your dp handling the news? Do you have friends and family nearby to support you? What's the plan of action for his treatment now?

Original poster
tjacksonpfc · 16/05/2006 09:25

thanks once again all my mum came round and collected the children last night and took them down to heres for a while so we dont have to worry about them which will make it easier for us i think it hit dp last night because he just sat there in bed crying most of the night all i could do was hold him and be strongfor him so neither of us have had much sleep but he has decided he wants to go into work today we spoke to his boss yesterday who is a friend of ours and explained to him what was going on and he said he would do what ever he can to help us so how long dp will be there is another matter. he starts his first treatment of chemo on thursday and we will take it from there and to top it off our tax credit award for this year has just halfed becuase dp was in a better job. it never rains but it pours.

OP posts:
fairyjay · 16/05/2006 09:35

Thinking about you both.

suejonez · 16/05/2006 09:43

My mum qualified for incapacity benefit during and for a while after her treatment. I think there are various qualifying things you need to have but ask your GP or ring the benefit office.

The first few weeks are so aweful and there's nothing you can really do except get through it as best you can.

Men don't tend to share their feelings and experiences as well as women so actively encourage your DH to speak to someone like BACUP when he's ready. The oncology unit may also have groups for cancers sufferers.

Take care.

Belo · 16/05/2006 10:10

Cancer is no longer the big scary thing it used to be.

One of my brothers friends recently went through a course of Chemo treatment. He found that the steroids which were contained in it made him feel really good.

I hope the treatment goes well for your dh.

Thinking of you and your family.

bummer · 16/05/2006 10:27

tjacksonpfc, the fact that they are treating the cancer is cause for great hope. I wish you all the very very best. Wish I could say more but my words are very sincere and others have pointed out the Macmillan nurses who are very good.

Original poster
tjacksonpfc · 16/05/2006 10:40

how sad is this i have just got our tax credit award for next year to find that because my dp had a better paid job his working tax credit has stopped and mine has halved even though mine hasnt changed and when i phoned them up to ask them about it i burst into tears for no reason at all. i could really do with a hug at the mo im usually such a strong person

OP posts:
martian · 16/05/2006 10:56

It probably feels like a very cruel blow to give you something else to worry about tjacksonpfc, I don't blame you for bursting into tears. It's good that your mum can look after your little ones so you can spend some time with your dp. How long will the chemo go on for? Any surgery planned? Are the doctors offering you a positive outcome or any sense of what to expect?

Thinking of you ...

bummer · 16/05/2006 10:59

It wasn't for "no reason at all" tjacksonpfc all I can do is sympthasise and send you a big soft hug.

sottovoce · 16/05/2006 19:08

I am so sorry to read this. Thinking of you and your partner. Take care.

GarfieldsGirl · 16/05/2006 19:59

tjacksonpfc I've just seen this Sad thinking of you and sending all best wishes your way ((((hugs))))

SSSandy · 16/05/2006 20:06

My family has just been through the hardship of cancer, the chemotherapy etc. It's frightening and I often felt the medical staff were at a loss to know how to deal with the cancer. Why some people recover and others don't no matter how hard they fight it is something I haven't managed to understand. All you can do is be as hopeful as you can.

I know you're trying very hard to be strong and supportive of dh, but make sure you take the time to get the support you need too from your friends and family. People are often very kind in this kind of situation, but don't know what they can do to help, don't hesitate to ask for help when you feel you need it. I know how hard it is, thinking of you.

Original poster
tjacksonpfc · 18/05/2006 09:41

hi all just an update i wasnt on yesterday as we went out for the day but we have to be at the hospital for 11am today to start the first chemo session thanks once again for all you kind words and support

OP posts:
suejonez · 18/05/2006 09:52

Good luck with the first chemo - its all vey scary to start with but you'll be amazed how quickly it becomes part of your routine.

Let us know how you get on.

006 · 18/05/2006 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.