Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Alcoholics or Dependant Drinkers Club

791 replies

Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 12:43

For SoftStuff, tyedye and anyone else who wants to join.

The rules are that you HAVE to sign in every night to let us know TRUTHFULLY how much you have drunk. You need to let us know your triggers too. So if you resisted for 12 hours but then cracked and had a beer - what finally snapped?

We'll be here to give you encouragement, support, advice and opinions.

OP posts:
Ledodgyherring · 25/04/2006 11:53

sorry just promoted him he's my dp.

butty · 25/04/2006 11:53

It is a strain, but the pleasure i get from my kids is worth it alone, even though day in day out is a total pain in the arse as well as never plain sailing.

If it wern't for my kids, i would be ten times worse then i am now for drinking and going out, as that was all i did before i had them.

tyedye · 25/04/2006 11:54

Moony,my brother also works in mental health with alcoholics,he stopped dead many years ago because he couldnt control it either!.xxxx

themoon66 · 25/04/2006 11:59

Now I'm going for my lunchbreak (I'm at work). Guess where I'm going - staff social club. Its funny how I can go there for lunch and not even be tempted to drink at this time of the day. Its obviously evenings and the telly that are my triggers.

butty · 25/04/2006 12:01

tyedye,

have you spoken to HV about get your dd onto bottles??

I would deffo go and seek advise, and you wouldn't have to disclose the drinking as in my eyes a 2 year old still on the breast would deffo be the point of intervention if you wanted it, and i can't imagine how painful a 2 yr old would be.

please don't feel ashamed to seek help regarding it, like i say you can be discreet, but it may be a good thing for you.

Butty.xxx

dinosaure · 25/04/2006 12:14

I am all too painfully familiar with how easy it is to drink too much in order to deal with stress and to forget about your problems for a while, but after a long struggle I have come to realise that it so doesn't help and in fact just makes things worse.

I think that the key really is getting support. Mumsnet has been a lifeline for me. Just over three years ago, before I discovered mumsnet, I got so upset about DS1 (who hadh recently then been diagnosed with ASD and who had been "disinvited" to someone's birthday party) that I spent a whole evening sitting in the dark on my own drinking wine and listening to radiohead.

butty · 25/04/2006 12:22

Dinosaure,

have you stopped drinking then??? If so, howd you do it???

I have been on MN for a year now, and it it has been of great help and support when i needed advise, or just plainly needed to vent.

I have been through a hell of a year, where i finally have a DX for dd, but am now going through genetisist councilling with my ds to see if they can find any answers to his GDD and other SN issues.

I don't get the help at home, and nor do i feel that i could get things off my chest the way i don here.

Drinking is my biggest downfall due to the health implications, the money side of things and also my relationship with Dp and the kids.

It is a spur of the moment answer that is no way near a soloution, it is a pick me up when i am down, it is a mind boggler, a brain block, it is whatever to me, and it helps, but i really want to stop more so for the sake of my kids.

Butty.xxx

dinosaure · 25/04/2006 12:24

No no butty, I'm on this thread for moral support like everyone else, but I have cut down a lot over the last few years. I still worry though about two things (1) my overall alcohol consumption (2) my complete inability, when I'm on a roll, not to have "just one more" and end up pgetting in a state.

I was a very heavy drinker throughout my late teens and my twenties and in fact only really slowed down when I got pregnant with DS1.

butty · 25/04/2006 12:30

same here, although i stopped all together when preg with dd and lost 4 and a half stone in doing so.

Thankfully, and i dont mean it in a good way, drinking is the only bad habit i still have from my pre children years.

I did alsorts and had real problems with drugs.

my dad died when i was 21 and he was 39, but even then i chose not to drink, like i say, its been more since we discovered ds had sn and other things as well as dd having severe behavioural probs.

i also earn quite good money, so it is pretty easy to spend what is spare on 2, 3 or even sometimes 4 benders a week.

I am starting slimmimg world this week and hope that i can find this to be an incentive to really cut down on the drinking, but somehow i dont think that it will be that easy.

Butty.xxx

tyedye · 25/04/2006 12:30

Last night i stopped at 8pm,had 3 beers and one(large)glass of wine.
Thats actually quite controlled for me,hoping to quit wine and wean off beer.
Butty,my HV asks ME advice,effing useless.Angry

tyedye · 25/04/2006 12:30

Last night i stopped at 8pm,had 3 beers and one(large)glass of wine.
Thats actually quite controlled for me,hoping to quit wine and wean off beer.
Butty,my HV asks ME advice,effing useless.Angry

tyedye · 25/04/2006 12:31

oops!

butty · 25/04/2006 12:34

Tyedye,

could you ask for a transfer of HV or maybe see your doc about the BF situation???

Well done for last night by the way, if you can keep it up by gradually narrowing the margin of drink, you will be doing so much better that you realise.

also, i have started asking for shandys when i go out to try and lower the alcohol intake although i possibly fear that i am drinking far quicker, hence the same amount.

Butty.xxx

tyedye · 25/04/2006 12:38

Whilst alot of people are horrified at the thought of BF at 2yrs,I am not, its the booze bit that worries me. She is smallest of four,all of whom breastfed roughly up to two and a half!
They all stopped naturally,so will she.I worry that she is exposed to far more booze than any of the others though.

tyedye · 25/04/2006 12:48

Butty,Good luck with slimming world,
Look at www.nodietdietway.com,the book is amazing!I too have a history with drugs,not to bad,but i am a very addictive person,this book shows you how to reprogram how you think,not just about food,time i picked it up again,it was helping me on lots of levels!

tyedye · 25/04/2006 12:51

Dinsaure,i used to listen to portishead,not radiohead when drunk and depressed,you are right that drink makes it worse,there are no answers to be found at the bottom of a bottle

dinosaure · 25/04/2006 12:52

portishead, yeah they're pretty miserable too!

tyedye · 25/04/2006 13:03

I am going to aim for ONE beer and no wine tonight,wish me luck girls!Grin

Original poster
Rhubarb · 25/04/2006 13:03

I sing "Creep" to myself, got on trouble on MN for singing it in various threads here once!

It's much easier if you have one alcoholic drink, one non-alcoholic drink. I find it's better than trying to drink shandies. You still have the hit of the first drink, and the second fills you up and slows you down as well as rehydrating you. That's what I do with wine now, so when we open a bottle, I'll sip my glass of wine and then I'll sip some water, it takes me longer to drink my glass, so when dh tops up, he's topping himself up a full glass and I just have half. So really, he's drinking more than me (oops!)

As far as beers go, I only buy those little bottles of "1066", I don't buy Stella or any of the strong brands.

I bought 4 cans of Guinness last Thursday and they're still sitting in my fridge! Plan to have 2 on Friday, see if I can last till then! Trouble is, with this weekend being a bank holiday, I'll get tempted to drink all the way through it. Dh doesn't help, he's as bad as me in some ways. He'll open a bottle of wine on Sun night when I would normally have gone without, then I can't refuse when he pours me a glass. But I'm going to try really hard with my rule:
1 alcohol drink - 1 water

OP posts:
Original poster
Rhubarb · 25/04/2006 13:05

Oh and SoftStuff, well done for getting this far without alcohol! You'll suffer for a few days, but if you can just get through it, see it to the weekend, you'll be so proud and so thankful that you did! It'll just get easier and easier as your will gets stronger and stronger. And you won't need to drink as much during the weekend because it'll hit you faster!

OP posts:
dinosaure · 25/04/2006 13:05

I think avoiding strong beer or lager is a good idea.

I do the alternating alcoholic/non-alcoholic drinks thing goo.

I try and stick to weaker brands but had two bottles of Leffe last week and was rendered virtually speechless.

Anyway, two nights of non-drinking under my belt now. the next two are more difficult as I'm going out tonight adn tomorrow night...

Original poster
Rhubarb · 25/04/2006 13:10

Just thought of something better than drinking water - coke. It fills you up so that you really don't want to drink anything else!

OP posts:
tyedye · 25/04/2006 13:11

I buy the cheapest,usually only 4 percent,if im lucky,5.
I am scarily tolerant,it takes loads to get the effect,another symptom of the problem

tyedye · 25/04/2006 13:13

Coke, or Tomato juice?! getting thru gallons trying to avoid beer!

Original poster
Rhubarb · 25/04/2006 13:18

That's it isn't it? The lack of good alternatives. I don't drink coffee, tea doesn't excite me much, I don't really drink unless I have to, or unless it's alcoholic! I've never found a good alternative.

BUT, J2O was good, I drank that whilst pregnant. I got them to leave it in the bottle in pubs so that it was like drinking an alcopop. It's very nice.

OP posts: