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Original poster

Alcoholics or Dependant Drinkers Club

791 replies

Rhubarb · 24/04/2006 12:43

For SoftStuff, tyedye and anyone else who wants to join.

The rules are that you HAVE to sign in every night to let us know TRUTHFULLY how much you have drunk. You need to let us know your triggers too. So if you resisted for 12 hours but then cracked and had a beer - what finally snapped?

We'll be here to give you encouragement, support, advice and opinions.

OP posts:

themoon66 · 02/05/2006 13:56

I dont actually think or believe that i am an alcohol truely. I can go without drink for days at a time - like I did last week. Its just that I choose not to and need to get my head around why I make that wrong choice at around 8pm of an evening.

tyedye · 02/05/2006 14:04

hello girls!drank a bottle of white last night,felt nothing!you mentioned tolerance moony!

butty · 02/05/2006 14:11

Hi all. hope you all ok today, well i've had the day off work due to chronic fatigue, been to the doc this morning, and nearly plucked up the courage to mention my drinking, but i couldn't face it.

The doc always gives me a hard time about smoking as my dad died when he was 39 due to cancer, and the doc reckons it is the cause of my ongoing throat infections assosiated with the CFS.

I have planned not to drink or go out this week as feeling really shitty with the CFS, i slept from 8 last night till 10 this morning and feel like a sleep again now, but have loads to do with the kids when they get home from school.

Butty.xxx

tyedye · 02/05/2006 14:19

Hi Butty,cfs is aggravated by yeast overgrowth in the gut,candida,which feeds avidly on refined sugar=alcohol!try b-complex and live yoghurt.xx

themoon66 · 02/05/2006 14:22

Butty - I know what you mean about mentioning it to the doctor. You know you'll only end up getting lectured about it. I find if ppl start lecturing me, talking about units, what its doing to my body long term, etc, my ears switch off. I can't relate it to myself, even though I've lost two relatives to the drink.

butty · 02/05/2006 14:24

Thanks tyedye,

the doc has never really given me info on the CFS apart from to get more rest, which i laughed when he suggested it, when he asked why i laughed and answered "2 kids, job, house, bills etc..., please tell me when i can rest.!!!!!"

Anyway, such as life, i'm a bit miffed today, as boss was a total arse with me this morning when i said i wouldn't be coming in to work, i felt like telling him to stick it, but can't afford to give it up, or maybe i could, but i wouldn't be able to afford to do as much amongst other things IYKWIM??

Butty.xxx

wrinklytum · 02/05/2006 14:26

thank you kokeshi.Have rung up al aware Ithink thisis what theyre called today to get info about places that could help.dp has recently admitted he has a problem which i suppose is a start.Have been seriously considering leaving him as have 2 gorgeous kids who dont deserve this.the dilemma be a skint single mum and uproot kids to new area or stay in family unit with a drinker.not happy at either thought but have to choose one.

butty · 02/05/2006 14:28

Themoon,

i know exactly what you mean, it think more than anything, that it's not the ears switching off to the same old jargon, more than the fact that the truth hurts and to handle it would be to accept it, which i don't think i can do at the mo

My auntie died in 2000 at the age of 39, due to her alcoholism, but really i look at her situ on a complete different level to mine.

Butty.xxx

butty · 02/05/2006 14:31

Anyway, must shoot off for a while, got the behaviour therapist from family centre coming in 5 and then chloe has dancing this evening, but will deffo be online tonight as dp's xbox live is down for the day and night!!!!!!!!

He keeps moaning that he's bored, oh what ashame!!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

tyedye · 02/05/2006 14:35

Be back later.xx

kokeshi · 02/05/2006 14:50

Hi again, I've not heard about al aware wrinklytum, but I know al-anon is an off-shoot of AA, solely for those who've experienced drink probs of their nearest and dearest. They have meetings, like AA, where it's just normal people getting together and sharing their experiences.

I hope you find something that helps you though, there are many organisations out there, it's finding the right one for you that's important.

Following on from talk of unsympathetic GPs. I get really annoyed that in this day and age they still bang on about "will power" and "unit-counting", stop this and don't do that, when it is so clearly beyond that for a lot of people. I was lucky to have a really understanding GP, and basically just listened to me, which is what I needed at the time.

Sorry for all who're going through tough times at the moment, this is a wonderful first step. xxxx

themoon66 · 03/05/2006 09:22

Well - I managed without alcohol last night, but DS's gameboy got a serious playing with as I needed to keep my hands busy whilst watching the new series of Lost. I have amazed myself really, as I know watching tv programmes like Lost, Desperate Housewives, etc are my triggers for alcohol.... like a total relaxation thing... good telly, chilled glass of cava or can of stella, feet up on sofa - bloody bliss!

Every time I thought about opening a can or bottle, I thought of you lot on here..... so thanx for all your help!! xxxx

tyedye · 03/05/2006 09:36

I drank a bit too much beer,but no wine!!!
Its a start.DP calmer at present,but i know from bitter experience it wont last long.

tyedye · 03/05/2006 09:44

Well done moony!I need to get on with my coursework,leave booze well alone!I know my self-esteem and confidence would lift as well.

themoon66 · 03/05/2006 10:03

My DH is away with work this week, and I usually drink even more with him not around. I find it helps me sleep. But last night I went out with the running club and really worked hard to tire myself out, which helped.

tyedye · 03/05/2006 11:37

what about softstuff,hw are you?

kokeshi · 03/05/2006 11:48

Hi all,
Well done Moony! What an achievement! How is everyone else doing? I was actually thinking about Softstuff too, if you're there, let us know how you are.

And anyone else who signed in before, we're all helping each other here, it doesn't matter if you've had a bad time...every day is a new start.

themoon66 · 03/05/2006 12:33

I was wondering about SoftStuff too. Hope she is ok. Tonight is gonna be difficult - Desperate Housewives, Coronation Street etc (all triggers). Plus DS will be on computer, so I wont be able to get on here for support .

themoon66 · 03/05/2006 14:14

OH MY GOD. The official photos for the race I ran last Sunday are out on the website. I look about 10 years older than I should and SERIOUSLY hung-over. I'm gonna keep them and look at them every time I fancy a drink. I always thought I was bearing up well inspite of the drink... now I realise I have been deluding myself. This is the wake-up call for me

kokeshi · 04/05/2006 11:07

How is everyone today? Has this week presented any problems for people? How do you all feel so far?

xxxx

themoon66 · 04/05/2006 11:32

Hit the bottle, or rather hit the cans of Grolsch rather hard last night so feeling pissed off with myself. DH is away this week and it was his lager. I shall have to do my normal trick of replacing it all quick before he gets home.

Called at Doctors this morning coz I suspected I was starting with cystitis. He has put me on antibiotics, so I have no choice now about not drinking this weekend. I was gonna say something to doc about my drinking, but I couldn't face it.

kokeshi · 04/05/2006 11:58

Hi moony, don't give yourself a hard time...it happens. I guess the fact that you're so annoyed with yourself is a positive thing? You know, instead of f*ck it, I might as well keep going!

Cystitis is horrid, hope it clears up soon. Talk to the doc if and when you're ready, these things take time and you're making huge progress yourself just by being on here and sharing with us.
xxxx

souvenir · 04/05/2006 19:25

Hello. I'd like to join you. And also to ask you if you think my drinking sounds problematic.

Basically I know quite a lot about alcoholism as my father was an alcoholic, a very functioning one, he worked as a lawyer and barrister, at his worst points downing a bottle of spirits a day. But he stopped completely (we never had alcohol in the house, none at all) between when I was 5 and when I was 13, then he drank again until I was about 19 then quit and never started again.

As for myself I didn't have a drinking problem in my teens and twenties at all, I never really fancied alcohol much and hated the feeling of being drunk. But in the year before I got pregnant, when I was 35, I was coming to the end of a 5-year spell of chronic ill-health and totally depressed and I found the odd brandy really helped me physically and mentally. Dreadfully, that odd brandy turned into a litre a day (literally!) (and it did show up in liver function tests, just slightly). I drank at that rate for about 6 months, I barely remember a thing from that time. Then I got pregnant and stopped immediately and totally although we spent the pregnancy worrying that those first few weeks of drunken pregnancy would cause problems with the baby.

Since dd was born (she's now 4) I've drunk a bit every day. I'm totally obsessed with controlling it so I never drink anything other than beer (never any wine or spirits). I drink 3-4 of the 33cl size bottles of Becks or Stella a day. Usually one around lunchtime, one at dinnertime and one or two in the evening. Even if I'm out I don't drink more than that. I guess that's still going on 30 units a week.

What worries me now is not the quantity so much as the fact that the thought of a day without fills me with total utter incomprehension. When I'm at work (part time) I don't drink at lunchtime but I'm literally gagging for a drin on the way home and often have a bottle on the bus

What can I do? What would you do if you were me? Would you think this is a really serious problem? I'm very confused about it all ...

Wonderful to read your posts though, it's taken me over an hour! I only just spotted this thread.

Oh yes, and sorry for waffling ...

kokeshi · 04/05/2006 20:08

Hi souvenir,

Welcome to the thread! Firstly, I'd just like so say how brave you are by being so honest, I know it must have taken a lot to put all that down.

You sound like you have already made huge progress in dealing with your problem, and without help too? But, what concerns me is the fact that you sat you are obsessed by controlling alcohol, and thus it seems by alcohol itself. This is one of the things that characterised my drinking...I was just muddling through to the next drink, literally.

It's often the case that those of us who have come to this stage of drinking, have to seriously consider our relationship with it. In my experience, if you have been down this path already, it is easy to get there again.

I have experienced gaining control, losing it again, and progressively getting worse. I had to stop, but not without almost killing myself in the process trying to control it, and denying I had a problem. However, all of us are different and I'm not saying you are the same as me.

I'm so glad you found this thread, talking about your thoughts and feelings with people who won't judge is a fantastic outlet. Stay with us, and hopefully you will find some answers.

Have a look on the \link{http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk\Alcoholics Anonymous} website, and it may provide you with some information for starters.

Much love xxx

souvenir · 04/05/2006 22:34

Thanks for your reply kokeshi. No, it's not easy to write these things down.

I don't ever doubt really in my own mind that there is a problem for me, now, with alcohol in that I'm clearly dependent on it. I'm just not sure how problematic my dependence is. I've managed to maintain my drinking levels for nearly 5 years now but I recognise what you say that things could easily also get out of control. And I'm not likely to have the incentive of pregnancy to stop me as it did last time.

In answer to your question about quitting by myself, well, I was seeing a psychoanalyst at the time plus also a cognitive behavioural psychologist so i was well supported. What was surprising was that they expected me to have to go through a clinical withdrawal process in hospital (risks of fitting etc. on the amount I was drinking) but I managed to bypass it. I stayed at home for a week and quite literally sweated, shook and itched it out with huge support from dp. It was a nightmare. We often say to each other that if I hadn't got pregnant at that point I probably wouldn't be alive now.

Could you tell me a bit about what happened to you? You say you nearly died?

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