***Tamoxifen 32***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

step this way dear ones...the trolley will be here in a sec...

MAS I am aghast at the rudeness from your rellies. Yikes!!

ash how fucking dare he shout at you. Did he apologise?
Are you 24? Good grief I thought I was young at 27.
I did go on to have three more kids after chemo btw.

A question occurred to me that you guys can answer.
I had double mastectomy and reconstruction. They look good but one side is a bit smaller and solid and the nipple is fairly flat whilst the other side looks normal. When I go to the gym I always keep covered up which isn't easy in a communal change room.
I always feel as if people think I'm prudish and ridiculous as they are all stripping off in gay abandonment.
What do the rest of you do in that situation?!

Good morning everyone! :)

Yesterday was very busy as I had a geneticist appointment and was also coming up with a plan for dealing with Dr Wanker as I have renamed him (hope the language doesn't offend!) my geneticist is lovely, I'll probably be seeing her for a long time! They're almost certain I have something called FAP but there's a couple of other possibilities so they're going to map my genes and I'll get the results in 4-6 months. I'm putting it all to the back of my mind for now.

We have reported Dr Wanker to PALS and also to my colorectal nurse. My boyfriend's mum spoke to both of them as a witness so that they didn't think I was over exaggerating. Everyone seems to be most concerned with the fact that I was given incorrect and dangerous advice, which I know is obviously bad and needs to be dealt with, but I'm more bothered by the fact that he was so incredibly rude and disrespectful. I'd like an apology from him and an acknowledgment that his behaviour was inappropriate but I don't think that's going to happen!

MAS your relatives sound very irritating. He could've just not given you money, no need for her to get involved at all!

ledkr I'm 22 :) and that's good about the children after chemo, very reassuring for me too, thank you!

I hope everyone had a good evening. We had a lovely date. I have been trying to upload a picture of my dress but I can't get it to work, I think I need to resize the picture so will do that later when I've got my laptop on :)

Good morning from me ! We are on day 3 of illness and confinement. The dc are getting better but not 100% still. It is good practice for my solitary confinement for my treatment I suppose.

ledkr my solution is not to go to the gym !

I have my oncology appt through and all reports say the onc is a lovely man and very good. That is reassuring.

ashokan glad you reported to pals. His behaviour was not acceptable and needed reporting.

We are booking campsites for spring / summer to give us all something to look forward to.

ash I experienced a few wankers over the past twenty years.
When I had my cancer they weren't routinely doing chemo for breast ca but mine was particularly aggressive so I asked for referral to the Marsden where they recommended chemo and zoladex (to put me onto temporary menopause)
My practice nurse had to do the zoladex implant once a month and its very painfull. She spoke loudly to a student about "mrs ledkr chose to have this whereas my father didn't have a choice"
I was [shocked] and came out I tears. I was 27 with three boys under 8 was I such a terrible person to want to live?
I still regret not saying anything so good that you are.

penis good solution but my massive arse won't agree.
Where are you going? We bought a little camper can last year and went to France in it. Was thinking of booking for Easter for a few days here but not sure if it will be too brrrrr

Grr, just typed long message and it disappeared.

Ashokan yay for you on complaint. If nothing else it'll may e stop him shouting at anyone else.

Ledkr, I have double mastectomy, no nipples yet, just mis-sharpen implants and Frankenstein scars. I go into cubicle shower when I go as can't stand the none too subtle gawping. Up to me who I tell and who I don't and being naked says it whether you want to or not!

Pen camping trips sound good. We're campers too. though I have a yearning for posh hotels

I think it's MAS's appt today. MAS am sending you huge hugs of positivity. Thinking of you lots xx

Smee- are you having some new nips? I got as far as the operating theatre when they decided the skin was too damaged from radio therapy.
It doesn't bother me tbh but I don't want people gawping either and often think they think I'm weird changing under my towel

I got my dream last year and got a VW camper

We are going to Totnes is April then May half term we are planning Dartmoor / Tintagel. In August we hope to head north to the Lakes. We love camping but were too old for all the bending and zipping involved with tents.
I am particularly looking forward to the April trip as we are not taking any dogs or children.

What sort of van do you have ? I love my van ..........

Ohh camping tips - we are thinking of Yorkshire in summer which may be bizarre if weather bad. But any good tips gratefully received,

Ledkr- I have none to pretty scar on my arse (obvious as half bum cheek missing) and leg scar so am of the view to wear swimming cossie and just claim its a shark bite if asked

Ash- glad you complained.

Mas-is it your appt today? Good luck if so . And your sil/dn are tools.

Got living well course this morning at oncology clinic so shall report back if useful, bunch of woo shit or even worse contains head nodders.

Then big gig has follow up hearing test. She is certainly selectively deaf but will see if needs more treatment (it was fluid in ear so had been given drops to treat).

ledkr does your gym have shower or toilet cubicles? I usually put my knickers and bra on in the shower then the rest of my clothes in the main changing area. There are also a couple of private cubicles so I sometimes use one of those. I haven't been since my surgery but I'm planning to invent an exciting background story for my tummy scars - possibly a crocodile attack. By the way, that nurse sounds appalling - it's not like you would've chosen to have cancer so of course you should go for the best treatment available! What an unpleasant woman.

MAS good luck with your appointment if it's today, thinking of you :)

pen my dad has a VW! It's only made a few trips as it has needed a lot of work and the interior has been completely stripped but I think this year we will start to put it back together... A camping trip sounds fab, it will be good to have something positive to focus on :)

Gig I hope the course is helpful and that the hearing tests go well.

Ledkr I have not had reconstruction and I hide in cubicles and under towels, it isn't that I am ashamed or hate my body, it's just I can't be bothered with it being an issue IYSWIM. In the early days I did once forget my prosthesis and took the then little cops to a children's softplay place where a woman stared at me in evident horror, I was a bit dense and didn't work out why until she had left. I have long wished that I had realised in time to punch her in the face

Ashokan Glad you reported Dr Wanker , even if he doesn't apologise it might make him think and be less likely to inflict his feelings on his next patient. That is basically what these arrogant twunts do, take out their depression, anger and frustration on their patients just when they are at their most vulnerable.

Anyone planning Yorkshire or Lakes I am happy to be your tour guide, off to Lakes after Easter for annual girlie hiking trip. Wasdale this year, last year we did Glenridding, and Helvellyn, twice. Borrowdale is my favourite area though, and the borrowdale round my favourite hike. Langdale great for camping gigs where in Yorkshire? big place!!! but for camping I think North York Moors are good because you have the coast nearby for fish and chips in Whitby .

Just looking for link to give to National Trust campsite in Langdale www.nationaltrust.org.uk/article-1356394498907/ Lovely site right in the middle of glorious scenery and walking and well away from the "Blackpool beach" bits of the Lakes and found this www.herdyhuts.co.uk/ it's going to have to be booked..............

Huge good vibes fro MAS today - hope everything goes well darling xx

Asho - so pleased you complained, - DrWanker shouldn't be allowed to get away with it (there's always one git amongst all the nice folk isn't there, - I had a breast surgeon I had to rename Dr Cock, he was vile). I'm glad your appointment with the geneticist went well, and pleased to hear you have a specialist colorectal nurse as well - I think specialist nurses are amazing at helping with all the emotional stuff as well as physical things.

Penis - am very envious of your camper van (ooh Penis envy - see what I did there ) my best friend has one and has been all over Europe in it, - sometimes on her own, sometimes with reluctant husband and large dog in tow)

I'd like to go camping this year - my sister gave me a tent a few months ago (this is sister lovely, not sister bonkers) so I've been harping on at DH about camping - I think it would be brilliant fun.
Am going to look at those links copt. , Fancy not buying your poor Dh any oysters - how shellfish

Hope your course isn't wootastic and full of head tilters Gig - let us know how you get on. Hope big Gig's hearing test goes OK.

I went to keep fit this morning, we had a silent auction to raise funds for the group (people bring things in they don't want and you write a bid on bit of paper) I got a big cream coloured handbag, with loads of room for all my junk, a lovely butterfly scarf/pashmina thing, and a nice little camera bag for DD - all brand new (unwanted gifts) and it cost me £3 for the lot!

On the down side, my PHN (post herpetic neuralgia from last years never ending shingles) has come back with a vengeance, I'm going to see the doctor next week, because it's so painful and the stuff I am taking isn't cutting it any more.
Any slight increase in temperature and the nerves start firing off, so if I have a cup of tea it feels like someone is stabbing me in the eye and head
Moan, moan, whinge, whinge

hope everyone else is fine, waving to all.

Those herdy huts look fabulous copt.

cop the campsite is Langdale looks fab. I did not need to read past the 'bread oven fresh croissants' bit to be hooked. Wasdale is my favourite lake but have not been there for about 15 years so a trip is long overdue.

We love our camper, tis a VW T5 with a pop up roof and full conversion. The children sleep in the roof and me, dh , dog and giant puppy squash in downstairs.

penis we have a mazda bongo. It's so sweet. Sleeps four and has a little sink and hob. When the awning is up theirs loads of room.
What I like best is shutting the door to the cold and noise when you can't in a tent.
We should all go to the same gym one day and strip off with gay abandon whilst talking loudly about being in "that shark attack"

just speeding by to report that the lung mets are looking smaller (radiologist hadn't bothered to measure them but visually smaller) Had long talk to onc doc about my neurotic musings about dx - v nice new bcn there too liked her a lot.
Will catch up later, but just wanted to say thanks for kind thoughts. I expect Sauron had sent cyber licks.

Fantastic news mas

Gosh you must feel delighted with that news. Well done.

Fantastic Mas so pleased for you. Sorry I didn't send you best wishes. So much happens on here my dyslexic brain struggles to remember it all but I am so very pleased for you.

KK the neuralgia sounds awful, is it like shingles and will come and go? DH had lie down at 7, thought he was having heart attack and demanding to go to A&E at 8 (he suffers from "man" ailments, they are always very serious and require A&E, unlike Breast Cancer which is basically just a bad pimple) had miraculous recovery and was coiffing champagne followed by steak and rioja by 9. Amazing but Oysters might have tempted fate too much.

Pen I actually lived on that campsite one summer when I was 17 and worked at The Old Dungeon Ghyll, it has a fantastic climbers bar with lots of singing www.odg.co.uk/facilities/walkers.cfm?id=4 but looking forward to Wasdale and doing Skafell from there, hopefully ahead of the Three peaks "charity" walkers who apparently go up and poo all over because they can get away with it because they do it when it is dark and all they care about is their time . Friend went up there last summer and said it stank like a public urinal. I bet half of them are doing it for the pink ribbon brigade

ledkr The shark that attacked me was clearly a bit of a perv

MAS that is good news on the mets front.

Can't possibly join in the camping talk as I have one too any traumatic memories from Duke of Edinburgh. Lakes flooding and taking over tents that kind of thing.

I am soooo pleased for you Mas
Sauron is greatly pleased too ...
Though he feels its him who caused the shrinkage and not the chemo

My DH would love love love the VW camper van !
He is a bit of a VW nut anyway .
Can't imagine squeezing in one for a weekend of Glamping with DH , huge teenage DS , DD , and pig/dog

Have to bar DD from gumtree .
She's been browsing the "free to a good home" ads for puppies ...

For 1 nil to mas v. mets.

Big gig having ears syringed in 2 weeks. Also got thumped at school so had an apology letter in her bag from the other kid- big gig not fussed (I think a fair amount of hitting each way goes on but other kid got caught) but teacher apologetic and upset as said it is first type of thing they have had in their class.

Course was a pleasant surprise. They even used the word "new normal" and described head tilting! Basically it is over 6 weeks and covers strategy for eating well, exercises, relaxation technique,coping with medical treatment and how to ask questions/research and emotional needs .

They had a couple of people talking who had done it before - one of whom was dx with bc (with mets) just after having her second baby. Is still coping really well some Years on so
Thought would share as one thing course mentioned is you don't hear enough about good news.

Oncy running it talked about it as progressive disease and had started running this kind of course as it was something she had seen work well with HIV patients in the early 90s and as she pointed out prognosis of that has changed massively since then. She believes cancer will be the same. So all in all well worth going on and am happy to share the books etc recommended if anyone keen.

MAS - great news on the mets front

ledkr - I like the shark attack idea - like copt. it would have to be a shark who is something of a titfish

I do remember that as kids we used to go swimming at an outdoor pool (lido would be too posh a word for it!) and there was a lady who swam there who only had one leg.
Being horrible children we speculated as to how she had lost it (hopefully we didn't stare as well ) and we immediately assumed it was a shark attack, - obviously the most likely explanation when someone has lost a limb

Copt - the neuralgia does come and go, it had eased off a bit, but when it returns it always feel worse than before, - it's worst in the evening and at night, but the stuff I have for it (amytriptiline) makes me feel so tired the next day that if it's bearable I try to make do with co codamol.

Lone - I am trying to convince DH that there are no bad camping stories

at copt's DH's man ailments, and BC being a bad pimple. I practically had to call the emergency services for my DH once because his socks were too tight - you wouldn't believe the wailing and panicking!