**TAMOXIFEN 29**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

crikey !

My jailer allowed me downstairs an hour ago but he is going to get the kids now and I am off back to bed. I am so tired. He has agreed to take the kids to school tomorrow and I will try and pick them up. I am itching to tidy up the toys and do the laundry but I know from past experience that if you do too much too soon it sets you back.

Very windy here too, sounds really eerie at times.

at older dog playing like a puppy.

kurri glad to hear that driving lesson went well - roundabouts are unpredictable buggers, and driving in the wind is hard too, so definitely worth taking steadily. Very impressed with DD - how did the first rehearsal go? Well for her, I hope. Being involved in music at Christmas is usually great fun!

smee have FBed you some stuff for DS. Hope some of it might be useful. Hope you're not working too hard?

MAS how are you doing?

X post justFAb take it easy today, love, particularly if you have to drive to get the DC tomorrow. Rest and rest some more x

Fab - yes definitely rest all you can today - you are right if you do too much you end up back a square one, better to pace yourself - even though its frustrating when there is stuff to be done.

ned - the first rehearsal went very well - they threw her in at the deep end - she hadn't seen any of the music before so it was sight reading plus separating out the parts for the tenors/sopranos etc etc when they wanted to rehearse individual bits. She's good sight reader though, so was OK with that.

But she knew a few people there - some were parents of kids she was at school with, and some were people who had been in higher classes at her school. And her old primary school teacher was there too. So think it was enjoyable if slightly nerve racking!

Oops pressed post too soon, - how is the new baby getting on?

how fab for dd kk ! Musical talent is something I really envy. I expect dad's concert band will be doing a Christmas thing,which will be nice. Ds has started going to the senior choir rehearsals which seems to be mainly the teachers and a few yr 10s and 11s. The staff choir has been really excellent in previous concerts,so it should be good.
Rest while you can fab
Am very sleepy and working is making me sleepier,so mioght have a short nap and then start again.

KK, ah yes, roundabouts....great things of mystery. Since I've had Flora the (t)rusty Land Rover, I find I can go where I want on roundabouts and others have to get out of my way

for those forming a queue for GBBO

Ned, am going to zoom off to look at your fb message. You are lovely.

Kurri, maybe you can borrow Flora for your test. Your DD's v.clever. Am in awe of anyone who is musical.

MAS, maybe you should start having siestas every day. I used to do that sometimes on chemo and it made a massive difference. Very hard to get up though once you've nodded off..

Justfab, hope you're feeling a bit better by now. Take it one day at a time. x

I still haven't watched GBBO.

amber - my Dad had a Landrover and he said exactly the same thing!
I'm glad I'm not the only person who finds roundabout bewildering.

Smee- thank you - I think she's very clever, but I am a bit biased

Slightly surprising result on GBBO, - but he's a nice lad and it meant a lot to him, so all good.

MAS - siestas a v.good idea, - I used to fall asleep all the time on chemo, - it's hopeless trying to fight the tiredness, I think you just have to balance every bit of activity with a nap.

my dad had a Land Rover for a while for that reason too ! it was v uncomfortable for us kids in the back though.
I'm glad John won GBBO - his chiffon cake looked so bloody lovely ! and he was a lovely lad.
Didn't have a siesta in the end as I hate the waking up bit-so drank some diet pepsi and returned to my desk- I think i'll just take lots of breakettes- also b&w drawings make my eyes go a bit funny after a while

remember on roundabouts to give way to traffic on your right

I am trapped

woke up and had a panic attack at the thought of having to leave the house never mind drive my new car

dh has just left to take the kids to school and I haven't even left the bedroom yet. I didn't like it when he opened the curtains either. I have to pick the kids up but the thought of leaving the bedroom is getting me worked up.

Fab - breath .
Is there anyone who you can call ?
Sometimes just talking (about any old shite) to someone helps .

Fab, might sounds a bit mad, but try wrapping yourself tightly in a duvet for a few mins and see if it helps. There's some science behind the 'why' of why it often works for that kind of thing.
Meantime, have a virtual

No one I can call. I have to move as DH has texted me to say the piggiues need feeding. Plus I want to see my cat. I feel this is becoming self fullfilling and I am getting and annoyed now. DH will not be impressed if he has to pick the kids up as well. Plus DS1 has a concert tonight and he will want me there to watch him.

Are you on any anti depressants ?
I am not a pill pusher , but my GP put me on a low dose when I was first diagnosed .
He said that they are not happy pills , but would help me stay on an even keel whilst I concentrated on getting through treatment .

Not on any meds and no diagnosis yet.

RIght. I am going to just get up and go straight out without thinking about it now

Good luck for today Fab
Let us know how you do !

Weather is foul here today .
Felt so bad sending the DC out to school in this rain .
Thank heavens for luffly neighbour who gave DD a lift up to school and DS a lift up to the bus stop .

I am wrapped in my blanket on the sofa watching Jewish Mum of the Year .
Now contemplating what to have for brekky .

Mas how are you feeling today ?

Gigs Gracie you ladies are quiet at the moment , all ok ?

How is everyone else today ?
Any appointments ?

Poor love justFab take it easy. Could you just get down stairs and make a cup of tea, and just sit for a bit, then move on to something else? Maybe doing little things in stages will make it easier for you? Don't overdo it, OK? Keep us posted x

justfab poor you. Another tip is deep breathing as this helps manage the anxiety attacks. It sounds trite but gives you something to focus on. It probably isn't helped by ga working through your system.

topsy I am ok but done in as have cough /cold still plus am very immobile as muscle at top of my leg has stiffened up ( side effect of radiotherapy ) so have spent most of last two days in bed.

Agree right man won gbbo -but they were all very good. What is going to fill our viewing now?

Have they given you any exercises to do for your leg Gigs ?
Cancer gives so much joy doesn't it ?

Morning Ned

Yep and I can see a physio but want to wait a couple of weeks post chemo . It's my own fault as was set off by climbing five storeys of stairs at George Michael concert.

Now have mental image of you belting up 5 flights of stairs to actually physically grab George Michael
much like me in hot pursuit of Sir Tom

Thank you all for not thinking I am an idiot. Or at least not posting it! I made it out but when I had to go back in the bedroom I couldn't do it . I have forced myself too now but feel really shaky. Maybe because I haven't done very much for 2 days and I have been sweeping, mopping, loading washer and dishwasher and putting clothes and toys away this morning. Must go for a drive too before I have to do the school run or else I won't be able to go and get the kids.