Tamoxifen 28

[Gigondas]

Another shiny thread

Jane - much love for this afternoon, it is very tough, but I hope the farewell for your friend is peaceful and comforting for those who loved her.

gracie -Your hospital experience sounds pretty scary, annoying they are not quite sure what your pains were, but they must think it's all ok now if they've let you home. Everything is a worry, so you are bound to be worried about the liver spots, but I think Smee speaks sense. Let us hold your hand while you wait for your appointments. xx

Hope you are OK MAS and not feeling too yuk. Don't overdo things, - I prescribe treats and DVDs and putting up of the feet.

Love to everyone else, - am putting some of DDs cheese and onion bread on the trolley - it is very delicious, the recipe is from the Great British Bake Off cookbook.

Much love to all of you looking into the paranoia box. Stop it if you can though, that way lies madness.

Have just dashed in to tell you randomly that the Marc Bolan play was probably the best thing I have ever seen in a theatre. The guy playing Marc spoke and sang just like him and it really was just like watching the real thing. I almost wet my pants with excitement and that is no exaggeration. And then at the end for the encore, instead of the usual additional bow and wave, the 'band' came back on and did a 20 minute T Rex concert Epic!!! [grin}

Afternoon all - been to gym and for a swim this morning, so feeling quite worthy!

topsy hows the painting going? Successfully, I hope!

smee did you get any joy getting a blankety snuggle from DS yesterday?! Mine was lovely, although I think we ended up with a dog under there as well at one point!

gracie love, sounds like you need some hugs. Stash all the crap away in the paranoia box and I shall sit upon it for you. I have an ample arse to keep it all locked away for you. Smee's right - it is the new normal, and I don't think the worry ever completely disappears. Be gentle on yourself and stick with us x x

MAS how are the pills going? Thinking of you lots. Have PMed you about meeting up for coffee and cake !

kurri don't think your mum would be able to sell without your permission, as part owner. Hope Mad Sister can be controlled. How are you doing?

gig what news with you my love? How is school going for big gig? Has she settled in OK? I meant to say - I am with you on the playmobil - DS got ambulance, police truck and various robbers for his birthday - I was very excited indeed!

amber great news about DS settling in at uni. Is there ongoing support for him if he needs it? I'm sure he'll go from stength to strength now he's settled and will have a brilliant time x x

Waves to OTM, Jchoc, eight, sparkle, sometimes and anyone else around. anyone? Think there's time before the school run!

Still holding you in my thoughts, pink x x

Meant to add. . .

Jchoc hope funeral goes off OK this afternoon x x

eight glad DS liked the idea of a tangle fiddly thing. As I have said, I have used them a lot with a real range of kids over the years - they're great because they're unobstrusive, don't make a noise and very tactile. Do let me know how he gets on x x

Ned - that is very worthy indeed and also

waving to ned - very excited about coffee and cake

yes,that is v impressive ned

Shit ... got paint on sofa !
Suppose I should count myself lucky I haven't stepped in the paint can ... yet !

See, this is why it isn't a good idea to get too carried away with DIY, it never ends well

Play sounds great Sometimes - am very

MAS - I x-posted - glad you are feeling OK, and enjoyed your coffee out.

Ned - utterly impressed by your activities. I've done yoga - so feel relaxed but haven't burnt any fat!

Am trying to put Mad sis and her manipulations out of my mind, - it's really impossible to predict what she might do, as her mind works in an bizarre way based on things that are perceived rather than real. And thinking about it all stresses me out, so I've decided to bury my head in the sand and deal with any problems as they arise. This way I may stay almost sane

Talking of the paranoia box and the new normal, - I borrowed that book of poems by Jo Shapcott 'Of Mutability' from the library today (she had BC in case anyone hasn't come across her work), any way there is a good poem in there called 'Uncertainty Is Not a Good Dog'

the first stanza is

'Uncertainty is not a good dog,
She eats bracken and sheep shit,
drops her litters in foxholes,
and rolls in the variables,

wriggling on her back until
she reeks of them ...'

it's a good poem - very true - read the whole thing if you get a chance

Thanks KK, poem sounds interesting.

Dealing with mad folk is very difficult, just because of their unpredictability. I worked for a woman like that once - totally draining. I think you are right to just respond as things come up - and I reckon Ned's right, she can't sell the house without keeping you in the loop if you own part of it.

I hope it isn't too much of a drain and it's resolved quickly. Your Mum will be much better in sheltered accommodation and you don't need the hassle.

would it be wrong of me to say mad sis sounds like a complete bitch?

Kurri, that's weird as I've been reading those poems again too. There's one called 'Era' that I like a lot. The way she marks the date chimes.

Sometimes, d'you reckon they're heading to West End with that?? Sounds perfect - will definitely go if they do.

Ned, yay for you on the morning exercise. Great to get out there and shout you're alive. I did try and snuggle DS, but he was too busy tying the room up with string - actually the whole house. I have no idea why..

MAS, your friend sounds great. Must be fantastic for her too. Coffee sounds mmmm.

Topsy, keep Pigdog away from the paint. Our cat likes 'helping' and has been known to have white stripes.

Right, off to talk to school about ds and dyslexia. I have no expectations of any great help. Would be nice if they surprise me though..

smee what news from school? I would expect them to have identified his particular weaknesses, wherever they lie, and have made provision for how they are going to address them. Could be extra support for spelling with particular spellings to fill in the gaps in his knowledge, more individual reading with an adult, revision of basic letter sounds, handwriting practice, coloured overlay for reading, special grips to fit on his pen to help with writing. Happy to advise if you need teacher-speak translating!

oh fingers crossed for satisfactory outcome at meeting smee I always think of ds and Ninja with string....
Must read the Jo Shapcott- it's sitting among my huge bookpile.

hi all, still feeling very rough and bit low but it now seems to be manageable - i know its like this and just roll with it. had a lovely video greeting from my school (where i teach) this morning with all of the staff cheering me on - sounds mawkish but meant a lot to me!

the weather is horrid but as i'm just sleeping, what the heck?

gig would love to see the pics!
big daughter at Uni in her new house but with builders still in. trying to persuade her to complain and get money back from landlord - but of course she won't. also had musing conversation with her about how little money she has each week - well it's more than i've had all to myself for many a year!

Hope the school surprises you, smee.

Not sure about the West End - not as far as I know.....

About 12 months ago dd was given a phone, against my wishes, and she has always been required to pay for her own credit. All of a sudden today it is not good enough and she wants a iPhone or a Blackberry. Honestly! She's 9. Hardly anyone she knows has even got a phone and she hardly ever uses it. This is NOT happening, and she is near tears just because I've said 'No'

I want an iPhone sometimes and I'm 36. . . I have to wait til my contract runs out next June then I get an upgrade. I would say stay strong!

no one needs an iphone at 9! Where has that come from?
dd2 is 14 and a few years ago wanted an ipod touch for her birthday. That I was ok with as she could use it as an ipod and no danger of connecting to the internet over the phone network. An expensive phone is just something to worry about losing/ having nicked so better off with a functional phone that just texts.

Funeral was okish, lots of people there. Could have done with a bit more music and poetry as it was hard work listening to someone who hadn't met friend talk at length. No hymns. Nice photo album to look through at tea afterwards. p**ed it down with rain all day here.

G'ah. School were lousy. Honestly I had such low expectations anyway, am pretty staggered as they failed to even meet those..

Still, more importantly Jane I'm glad you're back. Doesn't sound like it was all you needed, so have yourself a glass of something maybe xx

OTM, that's a lovely idea. Can you keep playing it on a loop to cheer yourself along.

Sometimes of course DD needs a new Blackberry. I can't believe you're holding out.

Oh there was tea and nice food and a bar at the cricket club afterwards, so have already started the tonight. It was good to talk and reminisce afterwards, I just thought the humanist funeral was a bit monotone.

Sorry the school was lousy, don't know what to suggest, I'm afraid but ned seemed to have good idea of system upthread...

I think the "desert island discs" might be a good format for a humanist funeral, five favourite tracks from ipod, couple of poems and a brief biography sandwiched in between might do it...

I'm glad you got through this afternoon OK jane - always very sad having to go to funerals. the photo album was a nice idea - we did one for my dad's wake - and it has been a lovely thing for mum to keep, also we had a humanist funeral, but we did have poems and music, - so maybe the no music/poems was just her family's choice - but I agree it is nice to have something played or read that you know the person liked.
Anyway, have yourself a nice gentle evening with or of your choice .

Sometimes - you are a cruel Mummy!! - actually you are very wise, - I can't be trusted with anything other than the cheapest most basic phone as I am always losing things, - and I am 52 slightly older than 9

Smee - what a pain about the school, - I have to say my experience with our DS was that his primary school was both spectacularly unhelpful, secondary - its varied from teacher to teacher, some were good others useless.It was only when he changed school for 6th form that he got the support he needed.

My advice would be to try to pinpoint yourself exactly what areas he needs help with and go in with a list asking them what they can offer. (sometimes it can be quite simple things that make a difference - in my DS's case for example, giving homework instructions at the start of the lessons so he could get them down in his book, rather than at the end when everyone was rushing to leave - though obv. that's more a secondary thing)

I'm no expert, - but I've been through it with my DS, - so if there's anything at all you think I might be able to help with, just give me a shout (bearing in mind it was quite a few years ago and things may have changed a bit).

Your descriptions of your DS's constructions and tying the house up with string etc - certainly ring bells with me - life is never dull!! But it's very hard to see them struggle with things that others are finding plain sailing, especially when they are obviously intelligent articulate children. But I'm sure your DS will overcome his problems and find his way through - he sounds like a terrific kid

I think after the initial frustrations, we definitely learned to see my DS's dyslexia as a positive - it is part of who he is, - creative, full of ideas, coming at things from a different angle, - and he himself has said looking back that he wouldn't change it.

Anyway - sorry for rambling on, but I do know how frustrating it can get when you want the best for your DC and the professionals fob you off.

to OTM - hope you are feeling a bit better soon, - what a lovely idea from your school - it's things like that which keep you going

Thanks Kurri. You are ever so helpful having gone through it and your DS always sounds so lovely. I'd be more than chuffed if my DS turned out so sorted and creative. I do see it as a positive in lots of ways. He is who he is, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

I was furious though because the SENCO hadn't even bothered to read DS's report. They're basically offering no support because he's deemed bright and his SATs scores are above average. His report clearly states that there's a 3-5 year discrepancy between his ability and his actual achievement levels, but apparently that's irrelevant as he's hitting his sats targets. The fact he has no behavioural issues doesn't help either. Am tempted to tell him to start hurling chairs around and biting people.

on your behalf Smee - we had the exact same thing, - you know what your child is capable of, but if you point out (as we did) that your child should be doing much better than they are (regardless of what other children are doing - that is completely irrelevant) you are told you are a pushy parent. Can't win!

But you know what? - he's got you and your DH rooting and fighting for him, and you know what the real situation is, and that he's not lazy or inattentive (which we were told our DS was ), and you are his big asset for cutting through the educational crap so he gets the very best education, which is his right. Just read loads, and arm yourself with info. - you'll find you end up knowing more than the people making the decisions - and it makes it a bit harder for them to prevaricate when you arm al clued up

Would you like me to send on the book I mentioned a while back - happy to pop it in the post for you xx

too for you smee
jane well done xxx
Am off to bed soon - have done a fair bit of work today,which is good. Headache and my neck feels a bit glandy- maybe am getting a cold.