I am neither esp clever nor patient BTW. Re the home ed decision, our backs were to the wall a bit when ds4 started school and was utterly miserable. When he was 7 he was found to be on autistic spectrum (all in all, quite quick dx really, but by then we'd been looking at alternatives), but school couldn't cope and he couldn't cope with school so we took him out to give us all a break. And we managed. It was fun really. By the time the two middle ones had finished primary school we were on a roll and gave them a choice :-). Both had been bullied and needed a break too. It went well for a few years, my health was quite good, and I was working intermittently. Anyway, to cut long story short, we got places for ds2 and 3 at college and that's taken the pressure off a lot.
Over the last couple of years, while I've been ill, we've been treading water a little with ds4. He is doing well, but he needs encouragement to focus on stuff he prefers not to do (being on autistic spectrum means he has a few 'heavy' interests and ignores other stuff unless pushed a bit). He does lots of activities outside of home, so lots of social contact (or as much as he wants!!), so we have to get him there. And home again! But there are gaps in his knowledge/skills. eg his handwriting is dire - but he reads very advanced stuff and his mental maths is good. I don't know what we'll do next. I've had enough of home ed, to be blunt, but he is really happy and thriving. When they are little there are lots of groups for home ed families, lots of activities; when they reach teens (ds4 is 14) they don't 'do' groups, esp as so many home ed youngsters have AS conditions anyway. i need some more social contact for me, to be honest. And I'd really like to get back inot paid work of some kind, if I can, and having the boy at home being home ed is just another obstacle to that. Our family income has taken a huge knock with loss of my earnings. If my health had been totally good and the 2 boys didn't have special needs, we might not have home edded at all. It'sa combination of factors that lead us to it. One of the good things is having the opportunity to do it, and taking that opp. I don't regret the years I've had with the boys at home (and when i was first dx with my liver disease it looked like it might progress much faster than it has - and we weren't home edding then). It's been good, but it's been bloody hard work and a huge responsibility at times. So there you are. Just part of life's rich tapestry, and so far the boys seem to appreciate the sacrifices (and I'll keep reminding them in case they forget .....).