**Tamoxifen** 27

[Gigondas]

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Special big hugs to Gig this morning .
Hope you feel a bit better today xxx

Yes feeling bit less wobbly. Feel for dh tho as mini gig was up at 4am...

Aw Gigs - - but at least you missed the 4am start. Can't lose 'em all!

Smee - that sounds absolutely marvellous and, as you say, sort of 'meant'. Drain every last drop out of the experience, I say.

MAS - hair sounds lurvly

Oh, and Baskets - many sympathies over the boiler. Hate, hate, hate having things like that go wrong (and getting them fixed).

On that note - this weekend we have got a painter coming in to freshen up 3 rooms (one a day he reckons). The bookcases in 2 of them haven't been moved in about 6 years. I am dreading what may be behind them

Well, I've been up and ready for hours and no boiler man :-(. Not sure what to do, whether to phone to remind - don't want to nag as they will be busy with scheduled work and we are last minute job. I HATE the uncertainty more than the unwashed, filthy state!!

Good that Gig feels a bit brighter today - sorry youare missing family. Maybe I should rent out ds4 as '4 am baby care boy' (a special kind of rent boy perhaps?!) - he can chunter on about his fave topic of the moment in his inimitable aspie style (I think it's still 20th century despots, but not sure as I've stopped listening .... bad, tired mother emoticon) and baby can gurgle and smile and feel she is being attended to, and parents can slumber on.

That sounds like a plan baskets- I think dss is helping generally and his gf is great with big gig but no respite on early mornings. Also suspect mini gig gets in a habit of waking early when I am not there as knows she gets dads undivided attention and milk when she wakes (rather than bleary eyed mum shh patting and putting her back in her cot).

Annoying about boilerman tho

Bolierman will turn up when you have given up all hope and are on the toilet reading a book,possibly with a face pack on - it's one of life's solemn truths

You are too many to namecheck ut than you all who have given me advice on my first chemo. I am absolutely terrified and had a god weep last night in front of 13 y, not a god idea, but we had cuddles and she said how she's worrying and i explained how the anticipation is probably worse tan the real thing. She goes on holiday on Monday for 2 weeks with friends which is a long time but we thought it would e a good idea to get her to have some fun. She tends to sit and watch me nervously!

Had my air cut short today in anticipation of air loss and think I look rather snazzy! (think jamie lee curtis and yes my real hair turns out to be grey...). I am a bit concerned that I am focussing on really flippant stuff like what I ook like but don't know what else t do!

Going to download some e audiobooks from the library as they are free!
good luck to all of you today - sending out vibes and hugs x

I'm off to wash up using kettlefuls of water. Then i'll write an ode to all the modcons we take for granted that our ancestors couldn't even have dreamt of.

xposted with overthemill. I think so called trivia and 'flippant stuff' is essential - it kind of helps as a control mechanism when so much is not in one's control, iyswim. Your hair sounds lovely.

Good luck and best wishes to all of you. ooh, glasgow is on woman's hour. wow! Right, dishes to wash ....

Cutting hair short really helped me as felt like controlling something and also made me think short hair would be ok when it grows back.

I always doll up for chemo too- make up, nails etc- stupid but I like to think mentally am making an effort to make it work. But that is me.

The first one is the worst as its unknown- it is better after. And there is so much urban myth about it too (bit like childbirth) that you get caught up in fear. But only have to be on here to see how many people have managed it .

Must be annoying having to wait, Baskets. Have you got your face pack on yet?? Sometimes sounds sure that'll work.

Overthemill, you know it might have been better to sob with your DD than bounce around saying all's fine. She sounds a sensitive soul, so maybe honestly and allowing her to hear that it's scary will help. Why don't you tell her about all of us and how we're coping. A fair number of us are out the other side and proof life goes on. You honestly will feel a lot better once you've done the first one. No matter what it throws at you in terms of side effects, once you've started you're on the road to the end. xx

Gig, what are you doing today?? Have you some company or is it just us? If so, I'll stick the kettle on and open the biscuit tin.

Hope Gracie's okay today and not feeling too wiped out.

Is Ned on holiday yet?? If you're reading Ned, am vibe-ing you skin repair!

DS has gone to watch the Triathlon with DH, with his new favourite thing; an old digital stopwatch, which we found yesterday and put new batteries in. I have been timed doing everything this morning including going to the loo.

Google home page is a good distraction today. See if you can beat me, I got 25 seconds but the cat tried to help

@ ds smee !
overthemill am sure it's perfectly fine to show that you are scared too- it will give your dd permission to allow her feelings out as she might be holding on and being brave for your sake. And taking control by hair cutting is great too
love to all, nothing much doing here- will go and get some cat flea stuff from vets later- I seem to have a couple of new pictures to do too.

Great to hear you've got some more work, MAS. Hope the deadlines aren't too tight.

not too urgent,so will ease myself back into work mode- good news too that I have a joke book to do in September - there are 800 jokes and they want lots of small drawings -yay ! (proper money too I hope !)

Will snaffle some biscuits but had friends and their kids over today so feel quite happy and managed to get myself off the sofa!! Even got dinner in oven.

baskets did he show up?

mas that is good about work - odd to try google thing whilst watching the Olympics

Hi all

DH has taken the kids mini golfing so I am mumsnetting tidying the kitchen .

overthemill I have 3 children (15, 12 and 7). When I was diagnosed my breast care nurse asked me what we were going to tell the children and she advised that we be totally honest with them. She said if we hide how we are feeling and tell them what we think they want to hear and they then realise, they will then probably not know whether to believe us or not when we have good news to share. I think it is good for your DD to be able to show how she feels. It is amazing though how resilient little ones can be. My DD has had a couple of wobbles but generally the kids are doing fine and you will probably find the further you are into your treatment the 'easier' it will be for you. Taking control cutting your hair is good - I did that too and then when it was falling out DH clippered it off. I wouldn't go out bald but rarely wear anything in the house (just for clarity I do actually have clothes on just nothing on my head). Will be thinking of you and your first chemo.

gigs glad to see you are feeling a bit brighter.

smee I'm sure DH had a great time at the heptathalon. I can't believe how much I am enjoying the Olympics.

baskets any sign of that plumber yet? Hope he appears soon.

Nurse just left after picc re-dressing. I could quite cheerfully say a few swear words as it would seem my picc is blocked AGAIN. They will try again next week but if not back to Transfusional Services I go - honestly they will be giving me my own bench at this rate.

at gracie being naked. But about picc line. I am looking Carefully at mine for signs of infection.

Lucky DS going to see the triathlon Smee, - he'll get to see a GB winner

Am very of your Australia trip, - have a great time, it sounds wonderful (do you mind me asking what your DH does as his job? - was intrigued by the 'studio space' - just being nosey, don't answer of you'd rather not)

Baskets - hope your boiler man has been and gone, boilers are the devil's own work - they seem to do nothing but go wrong.

MAS - well done on the work, - 800 jokes is a lot (I didn't know there were 800 jokes )

Gig - hang around on here with us, if you need company. Hope you are feeling OK today, not too tired.

Overthemill, - sorry you are feeling a bit wobbly, but it's very natural, - and I don't think its a bad thing to let your DD see that - and she was able to tell you her worries too. My DD started uni just before I began my chemo, and although it was hard for her being away, we kept in close touch and she didn't fuss over me too much - she has a tendency to panic if she thinks I'm ill! So may well be a good thing your DD is going away, - I think it's important that the kids carry on as normal with their lives as well.

Good plan to get your hair cut short - I didn't and regretted it - it's surprising how much hair you have when its falling out! And nothing wrong with focussing on those things - at least as Gig says, cutting your hair gives you a little bit of control, and that's the scary thing about treatment - having to give over control of your life to other people.

I went to something called fitness in later life this morning at the sports centre (that makes me sound so old) but it was good fun - you do an hour of jogging/brisk walking round the track, and then an hour of aerobics of some kind - today it was step aerobics and dumbells. I felt quite invigorated afterwards

I'm off to watch a programme my sister just phoned and told me about - it was Horizon last night and was about fasting apparently, - she's going to try it out, so I might too.

x-posted gracie, - bugger that picc line what a pain.

Ok was doing ok but finding that calls (especially broken up Skype calls) pics etc are setting me off a bit about being etc.

Don't know what to do as bit unreasonable as I said was ok to go. Just feel like I suffer here while everyone else has fun

am sure they are missing you horribly gig - it's a rotten thing to be left on your own though
gracie grrr about pesky picc line.

Gig, be weird if you weren't finding it tough. You should be with them and it's horrible having chemo and missing out on things. I think you're more than allowed to feel hacked off. Wish there was something I could say to make it better.

Gracie, that's a sod about your Picc line. you do seem unlucky with it.

MAS, yay for the book. That's brilliant news.

Kurri, I read your last post as a Horizon about 'farting'. DH is an artist. Big installations usually, but he earns a crust from lecturing, so he's got the research grant from his University and the University in Sydney is funding some of it too, so those combined mean we can afford to go.

arf at @farting programme
Your DH's job sounds very exciting Smee -with MAS (and your DH as an honorary member) we are a very artistic thread I bet Australia is really inspiring for an installations artist - all those huge open spaces.

(By the way - hope you didn't think I was being nosey about how you were financing the trip, not my business in any shape or form and I think everyone should grab any opportunities that come their way - even if it stretches the finances a bit ) I just wondered what your DH did that required a studio, - I think I knew he lectured, but not that he was an artist

My sister and her DH took their two girls on a trip of lifetime to Australia when they were teens. - One of my nieces collected a whole lot of rocks and stones she wanted to bring back, they were too heavy for the luggage, so she stuffed them all in a little rucksack and brought them back as hand luggage - DSIS said she was worried DN would fall backwards and be stranded on her back like a beetle, unable to get up because her rucksack was so heavy

Gig massive - you're bound to feel a bit lonely, especially if you are feeling a bit yuk as well. I hope you've got lots of treats for yourself in the house - now is the time for chocolate. xx