Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

23rd **TAMOXIFEN** thread

999 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 01/05/2012 15:20

oh my !

OP posts:
smee · 01/05/2012 22:57

Snoopy, I was 44 at diagnosis and DS was 5, so not too dissimilar. I had an unstable breast (!) too. It's over 2 years ago for me, but I will never forget how terrified I was. I'd say don't worry about your DS for now. Just wait until you know what's next. One step at a time's v.good advice for now. We're here for whatever you want to know. As Topsy says, one of us will have been through similar, so at the very least can at least help you know what to expect next.

jchocchip · 01/05/2012 23:15

Hi snoopy, echo what topsy and smee said. I'm 45 and was diagnosed in August. My dc are older 19, 17 and 14.

jchocchip · 02/05/2012 07:11

morning all, I'll put the kettle on for a Brew.

mil phoned late last night to let me know that her sil had died sudddenly with a heart attack. Completely unexpected, very active lady, dog walker, not overweight. Hadn't been to the doctor for 20 years. Guess she was into her 70s. mil was able to go over and spend the day with her brother and his daughter lives nearby too. Terrible shock for him.
Probably won't arrange the funeral that quickly as there will have to be a pm.

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 02/05/2012 07:31

oh goodness,what a shock jane Sad
Hope you have a lovely and relaxing holiday-will look out for your photos on fb - xx
Am busy today with work- slightly peed off by flippant comment by my nephew-in-law on fb following my latest blog post -I rather think he hasn't bothered reading any previous posts -he often makes jibes at my meditation /work -think it's meant to be friendly teasing but.. my friend M pointed out that I was leaving myself open to this by being so frank- oh dear. I shouldn't mind, but was feeling really overwhelmed yesterday- better today. Sorry- self indulgent.
Sending lots of good thoughts to gig today and hoping that snoopy is hanging on in there.

OP posts:
1stepatatime · 02/05/2012 08:03

Amber - thank you for those stats, you're a star.

Gig - good luck for your appt today, I'll be thinking of you and thanks for your list, it's something else to hold onto when it's hard to be positive.

Snoopy - I'm still very new to all this, but just wanted to say that the shock does gradually wear off. I too have young children (9 & 3) and to be honest they just take things in their stride if they are kept in the loop and given info at their level. As everyone says, you really have to take it one step at a time, try not to think too far ahead for now and take whatever joy you can find in each day. I know it's hard, it's unfair and it's a ride you just want to get off, but we'll get through this. Please use this board for support, I've found everyone to be genuinely supportive and friendly and you'll get some great advice. I too have suffered a mc and know how truly awful I felt, so can't imagine what you've already been through - sending you lots of virtual hugs and support xx

1stepatatime · 02/05/2012 08:13

Lime - sorry missed your post! Think I'm slowly getting my head round it. Hope your mum is ok.

Jchoc - that's awful news and must be a terrible shock for all involved.

topsyturner · 02/05/2012 08:19

Morning All

jane sad news , my sympathies to you and your family .

mas as hard as it is , you have to ignore the silly comments . You are doing a great thing with your blog !

Gig what time is your appointment ? (am sure you have already said but I have the memory of a goldfish with Alzheimer's !)
Loads of positive thoughts winging their way over to you .

snoopy how was your night ?

amberlight · 02/05/2012 08:35

Snoopy, hi from me! Smile Welcome. Have a Brew
Sad you're here, but these are lovely people and a source of much wisdom and comfort. These days, breast cancer is very treatable. Even the most daunting situations have an 8 in 10 chance of long term success, and most will have better odds than that. Let us know what's what on results and we can cheer you up no end, one way or another.

Do Not Google! The stuff out there is rubbish, ancient, and doesn't reflect modern treatments. Most statistics are based on stuff from the 1980s or 1990s when modern treatment regimes didn't even exist.

Jane, heck re the news Sad

Smee, not one of the Defenders, no. Mine's an ageing Discovery that does some hard miles as the work site car/horse feed transport/rugby team mover.

MAS, argh re silly comment. There's always one, as they say. But I wish people would think before posting

Original poster
MaryAnnSingleton · 02/05/2012 08:42

snoopy - listen to amber -she is fab at stats and facts

OP posts:
snoopygirl · 02/05/2012 09:03

Morning

thanks so much for your comments/support. I read back through alot of your posts and you all seem to have been on here a long time and some out the other side which is encouraging. I'll have to say goodbye to other MN ladies. I'm gonna miss them. I can't post my shitty updates on there, they have enough sad news some days. We've met a few times which has been nice, and had a laugh.
Well as you can imagine awful nights sleep. Laying there imagining all sorts. Got twinges in certain places and I;m off on some other destructive train of thought about Lymph nodes being attacked! I kept it together this morning in front of DS. Thank god I have Mum next door and she has taken him to school. I look like I've been crying for a week. I spose I'll have to try to get down there tomorrow and look normal.

JChoc sorry about you shock news that's awful.

mary Stats are good!

Sometimesiwonder · 02/05/2012 09:54

Just wanted to welcome 1step back, and welcome Snoopy for the first time. Plus express a Envy for the missed group hug, and offer a quick one to jane - what a shock.

Oh, and MAS - ignore flippant and or otherwise comments on your blog. You aren't writing it for them. keep going. Smile

I'm just having to steam on with work at the moment, so not here much. And really, all those with new diagnoses - perhaps you could take comfort from that? my treatment was three years ago, when I had a 5 year old dc, and i am still here and overworked and underpaid Grin Maybe that will help you to take heart. I hope so. x

smee · 02/05/2012 10:00

Gig's appointment was at 9.30, so now-ish. Fingers crossed she'll come whirling back with astoundingly good news.

Jane, that's sad. Must be one hell of a shock for everyone. Hope this doesn't sound crass, but don't let it spoil your holiday.

1step, that was a nice post for Snoopy. Think you're spot on about kids. My DS was fine with it all too. We told him a version of events and he really got into the science of it all. Snoopy, more than happy to natter about what we told our DS if it'll help.

MAS, blog's bound to make you vulnerable to the odd insensitive comment. DN sounds a bit immature to me. Don't let him get to you. Blog's fab in every way.

Busy working here. Brew for anyone who wants one. Smile

graciesmall09 · 02/05/2012 10:04

Quick pop on as I'm heading out for coffee so will come back later to catch up.

snoopygirl sorry you have found yourself here. I am only recently diagnosed myself (March). I am 44 and have 3 children (15, 12 and 7). Everyone one here is supportive and kind - I would truely have been in the funny farm without them.

jchoc what a shock poor lady.

Good luck gigs for your appointment today.

Good luck to anyone else with appointments/rads/chemo. See you later.

Sometimesiwonder · 02/05/2012 10:07

Just wanted to share this classic case of obfuscation with you all, for a laugh. it was in a news story online today -

"A spokesman for the Environment Agency (EA) said as a result of recent rain, soil moisture deficits had decreased in all regions...."

I think he is trying to say the ground is wetter than it was. No shit, Sherlock Hmm

Gigondas · 02/05/2012 10:11

Ladies - quick update. Not good news here as bastard spreading - bigger lung nodules, bit on my bone and possibly on my liver. So more scans to decide on what chemo and shorter radio . Ultimate prognosis not great but I don't want to know stats as just got to focus on doing treatment and fighting this.

Will be back later for proper update .

Sometimesiwonder · 02/05/2012 10:17

Gig - what a shock. So sorry it is not good news. It's a sound plan to focus on the treatment and not the numbers: we all know that they can be pretty inaccurate, after all. Hugs and a Brew from me. Have a scream and shout, then try to stay strong, we are rooting for you.

And focus on all the many, many things they can - and will - do to zap the bastard. x

amberlight · 02/05/2012 10:40

Gig, heck and triple hecky heck. Hugs Brew and anything else that helps...

smee · 02/05/2012 10:45

Ah no.. Gigs, huge hugs. Bloody hell. Definitely scream and shout. Sounds more than essential. xx

topsyturner · 02/05/2012 10:49

Oh Gig
I don't know what to say Sad
Just that I am here with you .
Shitting bastarding cancer Angry Angry

Gigondas · 02/05/2012 10:53

I don't know what I feel- am in Macmillan centre near hospital now having cried on lovely adviser. Worst bit was oncologist started to cry when she told me...

I dont want to die Sad - I feel so awful for dh and my girls .

topsyturner · 02/05/2012 11:04

Gig that was my first thought when they told me mine had spread to my lungs .
I cried , I planned my funeral .
But it doesn't mean that this is the end .
You haven't had any chemo yet have you ?
Apparently my lung tumours shrank significantly with chemo . And this next lot if chemo will have the same effect , I am sure of it .

Are you on your own ? I know you said you are at the Macmillan centre , but do you have a friend or family member with you ?

Sometimesiwonder · 02/05/2012 11:11

Gig - Am there with you in spirit. x

l4k · 02/05/2012 11:13

Gig. That is totally shitty. Why ffs do these things happen?
Don't get any figures atm. Just concentrate on treatment plan

Want to squeeze your hand. X

Am in b clinic waiting to see consultant. Feel a bit sick but ok.
Will update later.

Gigondas · 02/05/2012 11:15

No I haven't had any chemo yet. I guess I am scared its growing and spreading quickly but I suppose that is why they do scans as wasn't at this stage 3 months ago. Then the other fear is there is nothing they can do for it.

Am on my own but have spoken to my mum , dh and sis. Am due to see my therapist at 1.

topsyturner · 02/05/2012 11:20

There is always something that can be done Gig , always remember that .
I am so sorry you are on your own getting news like that , and I wish i lived close by so I could just pitch up and hold your hand .