TAMOXIFEN ****20****

[KurriKurri]

Hello ladies, - just taking the plastic wrapper off a brand new thread

Just dashed in to send Pennies a huge hug of courage. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

And Ned and OneinEight, aren't you both having chemo again tomorrow? I'll be thinking of you both. Ned, am impressed by the lobster btw. DH and I shared a bag of crisps.

Hope Amber's not all tangled in her wires and having fun regardless.

l4k, hope those steroids mean he's turned the corner then. Must have been scary to have him that ill.

Kurri, v. nice pic of DS. Am jealous of their seeing Stewart Lee. Have they set a date yet??

MAS, i am still trying to breathe down into my tail. Smog makes it look so easy..

Figgy, I felt the same about my remaining breast. Was a big reason why I had the second mastectomy. Was OTT in lots of ways, but it was definitely right for me. Shopping sounds good.

Holstein, how far?! Are you back to full time next week, or still on alternate days?

Sometimes, your DD sounds fab. Did she get to keep the team strip?

Waving to Topsy, Jane, Limejelly and anyone else I've missed. Lovely day here. Been out in the garden watching DH try and find our plants.

Ooh, kurri forest fruits crumble sounds deeeeeeee-licious! Some for me please!

Am trying to resist the temptation to post on a "friend's" Facebook status with a really rude message. This is one of the friends who has basically dropped me like a hot brick since I was dx. She has put on fb "have the worst cold. Ever. Fed up. . . " or something similar. Am sooooooooo tempted to put "I think I can trump that. . . " or something similarly bitchy. Will stay off fb and try to restrain myself!

I love a good voucher figgy glad you found something nice for you and mr figgy

Had a nice potter in local woods this afternoon. DS was hunting for Gruffalo. . .

Appointments tomorrow? eight chemo, and pennies op. amber back at heart specialist too, I think. Big hugs to you three for tomorrow. Thinking of you lots x x My chemo is not til wednesday so eight and I not in sync any more! I think I coincide with 14k 's mammogram?

Any I've missed?

Chemo not til Wednesday because I have to see the oncologist before they will do the next cycle. He only does clinics at my local hospital on a Wednesday so they've moved me. Hoping to move back to Monday for the next one, so that I can feel rubbish while DS is at school and then feel bit better by the weekend. That my theory, anyway!

Ned - grrr at 'friend' - try not to let her wind you up, its not worth it

1in8 - I had lost track of chemo sessions, - so lots of good thoughts coming your way too for tomorrow, and for amber seeing heart specialist - good luck both.

Smee - DS had gone with his sister tonight (his fiancee bought them the tickets though) - they are big SL fans. As for a date I told him tonight that me and my Dsis wanted more info so we could plan co ordinating hats But all I got was 'next year sometime' and that they are having a register office ceremony followed by big party at their house afterwards, - so hats probably not needed - but it sounds as if they've made a few plans anyway for what they want.

Watching others gardening is very therapeutic I find

Evening all, ohhhh I do love to be beside the seaside !! fantastic day out with little holsten. Rides, trampolines, chips, ice cream, falling in the sea, it was fab! Hope we all enjoyed the springy weather today.
Mega luck for onein and amber xx
MAS no worries re zine, just let me know when u put some new ones up, is good to be busy!
Ned, fb is a pain in bum sometimes , bite your lip and remain dignified (easier said then done!)
Seasidey hugs all round xx

oh ned would be very tempted to write that on 'friend's' fb page - grrr
loads of love to pennies and oneineight tomorrow -will be thinking of you xxxx
Ds has recital tomorrow so hoping he feels calm and confident- I shall be a bit nervous !

seaside sounds wonderful holsten !

Your day by the sea sounds lovely Holsten. You'll sleep well tonight. We live by the sea and get a bit twitchy when we get too far inland.

MAS, good luck vibes winging their way for DS's recital tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I know that nervous feeling only too well.

Also sending lots of thoughts to Oneineight and Amber tomorrow. Hope everything goes well for you both.

Ned, definitely keep a dignified silence re FB 'friend'. I had a couple of very good (so I thought) friends who practically abandoned me during my treatment and it upset me greatly at the time but I have studiously ignored them. My real friends rallied round and that's all that matters.

Smee and others, thanks for understanding my feelings about my remaining breast - you've summed it up brilliantly, much better than I ever could. I really wish I could have another mx and be done with it. Yet I feel awful saying it. I might look into it further.

Off to bed now but before I do, DS1 bought down some scrumptious Guerlian truffles earlier and there are some left for the FBS trolley.

Thanks for all the good wishes. At least it will be half-way through today. Amber and Pennie also good luck with your appointments tomorrow. Figgy, I agree with you completely about the one breasted look - it just looks ridiculous and I would rather they had cut it off too. dh thought I was mad when I voiced this opinion to him though so I am glad it has crossed other peoples minds too. Kurri - I thought I was in the hospital for a long time last time chemo session but 7 hours for an appointment with the consultant is dreadful - actually he sounds like our last GP (luckily retired) who lacked any empathetic tendencies at all. Waves to everyone else and hope you all have a good day in the sunshine..

Morning all! available.

No appointment today as such - just taking the monitor back so they can analyse it and tell me what they reckon. Meantime, shall be taking life a little easier.

OneinEight, half way is sometimes the most difficult bit, I think. Find a decent treat for yourself. I did. It kept me going.

Ned, yes, somehow the worries of others seem extremely odd after me going through this lot. Two of my colleagues were really upset because there was only one roll of sellotape and they both wanted to use it, for example. Well, we're next to a supermarket and a newsagents that sell sellotape...so could there be an answer there? My patience for listening to such things, (when every morning I have to wake up and deal with arthritis, heart misfirings, autism, dyspraxia, faceblindness, high blood pressure, the aftermath of cancer, and the range of disabilities of my dh and ds) isn't what it was. If I can still go out and get a roll of sellotape for the project, I think they can too.

Well said amber!

I know just what you mean. I have nothing like the amount of challenges you are facing but I find myself alarmingly short of patience with little niggles sometimes, and that is related definitely to the BC. As a teacher at dd's school found out to his surprise a short while ago. bloody jobsworth

My very best vibes to all having treatment today (and later in the week). I can't light my candle after all owing to the gale blowing through my house courtesy of the CH engineers (on whose heads may blessings be poured, for we have been v cold), so I am lighting a virtual one instead.

Breathing down into the tail sounds mighty - I imagine it is easier when you actually have one.

Smee - DD had to wear her own strip for the match and act as a ball girl - but she did get given both teams' autographs, had her pic taken with them, and she chatted up the opposition coach so he gave her a ball. It was a great day for her, so we are really grateful to both teams.

PS Figgy - do try to find Rowland on YouTube or iPlayer, it was fab.

OneinEight, really hope today goes okay. Half way's quite something even if it does still feel like there's a way to go.

Pennies, will light a brightly burning candle for you today. Am thinking of you x

Hope little l4k's still on the up today and steroids aren't making him bounce.

G'ah to useless so-called friends. I think we've all had at least one of those.

Ned, Wednesday then. Hope bloods let you go ahead.

Holstein, your day by the sea sounds fab.

Amber, maybe you'll get some news today then. I like your sellotape riff. Have felt similar about such trivia. You have a heck of a lot to cope with. sounds like a good way to kick off a week.

Figgy and Eight, on the second mastectomy idea. If it is something you're considering, feel free to pm me. It's increasingly common for women to decide to for it, but there are hoops to be jumped through so I could fill you in a bit.

Kurri, what no matching hats?! Please tell your DH and his DGF that they are robbing you of your rights as a mother and from us for a lot of laughs Hope they enjoyed SL.

MAS, I have Smog sitting on my desk to remind me to spend some time being Mindful. I have also stuck one of the stickers on the computer. Apart from anything else they're cheering me up.

Just on paranoia, whose turn is it on the box?? Think I might sit there a bit, as astoundingly even with a negative bone scan, I'm still anxting. I have my old rib ache in abundance and my shoulder ache is worse, oh and did I mention that I am feeling breathless still too. I have decided to be proactive and have just rung a physio we've used in the past. Logically my shoulder problems are connected to my swollen hand, so Carpal Tunnel or Arthritis is a good guess.

Do any of us ever feel totally pain free?? Just curious, as I have started to appreciate that low level something will now always be with me. Really bloody annoying to say the least.

Very long post. Better do some work. Waving to all.

x-posted Sometimes. DD's footie day sounds fab. Hope heating's fixed soon. Bit nippy still out there.

Hi smee {waves]

No, I am never pain-free. Back, leg, fingers, low level headache from overnight tooth grinding: I could go on, but it's tedious, so I won't.

Is tedious isn't it. Am mighty bored of all things health. I don't do the tooth grinding thing, but my bf does. She has a mouth guard to wear. She reckons she goes to bed looking like a boxer.

I think I must grind my teeth !
Nowadays I am more achy -never was until this last year Depressing,isn';t it.
Loads of love to treatment /appointment girls today.
smee am glad that Smog is proving cheering !
Am off to post office to send bits of work and buy suitable after school/pre recital treat for ds - he seems fine this morning,not visibly nervous.

kk you can wear a hat to registry office I'm sure !!

Yes, I have one but it's vile and it rubs so i don't wear it. I keep meaning to get a new one made, but I hate spending my hard-earned on stuff like that.

Hope it goes well for DS, MAS. Can you go and watch?

Ooh cross post! Very best of luck to ds, MAS. Can you watch or is that too stressful to be borne?

Groan. Desperate for a wee already and no prospect of one all day! Men dashing in and out of bathroom, and water is turned off. Aaargh!!

Oh no Sometimes! You need one of <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=chamber+pot&hl=en&gbv=2&biw=1280&bih=787&tbm=isch&tbnid=FLhMIy2rmL7sjM:&imgrefurl=colchesterantiques.com/ceramics/victorian-royal-doulton-chamber-pot/&docid=6Q5IMlyuusBGUM&imgurl=colchesterantiques.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/doulton-chamber-pot.jpg&w=653&h=490&ei=OdFdT5XPEMKk0QXVr5DMDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=974&vpy=350&dur=78&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=175&ty=126&sig=116299359378968964010&page=2&tbnh=140&tbnw=189&start=28&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:28" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">these? Sorry! Cafés nearby?

Smee - the breathlessness is my favourite - makes you anxious, and a symptom of anxiety is.....!

Very cold and foggy start here a big let down after yesterday. I am going on DS2's school trip tomorrow - will be doing orienteering and plant drawing in an abbey garden (so outside all day). Hope the sun comes back and my foot holds up. I forgot about my inability to walk far when I volunteered to help .

Pond is still frog soup. Poor little fish have been cowering in one corner since this started.

Thinking of Pennies and OneinEight x

Updating LJ for Sometimes, so she can wee like a man
www.amazon.co.uk/Freedom-Purple-Whiz/dp/B001ANQDVG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331549491&sr=8-1

LJ, am so glad it's not just me on the breathlessness. It's really winding me up atm.

Thanks guys, tempting solutions both - but have just opted for a trip to Sainsbo's as it has 'naice' facilities. Can't keep driving up there though, will have to reduce fluid intake, I think.

Breathlessness here too, it is quite alarming I usually find I am breathing very shallowly, and if I make myself breathe properly it fades. For me, I get it after dinner a lot - have decided this is because i am a greedy hog who eats too much so that's another incentive to eat less and lose weight

LJ - hope the frogs desist soon. poor fish It is a sign of a nice healthy pond, though.....