***TAMOXIFEN number 19***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

ta daa !

Thanks for all vibes. Just on way to scan now -tiredness and bring up with dd2 not helping my mood. Dh and my mum being wonderful and positive but I am struggling to be so upbeat . Guess That is normal - here is hoping that this week get a plan .

Choc hope you managed some sleep

Good-luck for your appointments today Girondas. Hope your feeling better today Topsy and Ned. I am no good on dressing-up days - have to do two world war II outfits after half-term but can not get beyond cardboard box on a string for gas-mask. Waves to everyone else - and hope you all have a good day.

Arp warden? Overcoat , arm band and bob builder safety hat with arp on and torch?

Good luck gigondas thinking of you.

thinking of you now Gigondas
one in eight we did evacuation day where the children were marched off to the station in costume,with teachers all wearing war time costume. We have a lovely old fashioned station with real steam trains (Watercres line) I put ds in shorts, gas mask box on a string,cut off the arms of an old grey school jumper to make a pullover thing,hand knitted scarf and a big luggage label on his cardboard suitcase (those toy ones) I'd even made egg-less sponge cake for his lunch. Will try to find a picture.

is on my profile now...

Thanks MAS - that looks good. My mind just goes blank when it comes to these things but that sounds achievable even for me.

I used to dread them I must say

Morning All

Feeling good today , couldn't have been tonsillitis yesterday < over react much ? emoticon >

Todays fbs trolley offerings are mini brioche rolls . Have recently rediscovered them , and am totally enamoured .

MAS your DS was very lucky , I have been admiring all your costumes all week !

Gig candle lit for you today .

Anyone else with appointments ?

No appointments here, haven't been out for 2 weeks except for a hospital trip. I'm waiting for an appt letter to get results of lymph nodes. Scared myself googling yday, mustn't do that! Wonder how long I have to wait I'm so impatient!
Feel like a big fat blob as I haven't done any exercise for ages. Fbs here: jammy doughnuts!

Bread is mouldy here!

holsten I am very impatient too - I am waiting for appointment letter too, to see oncologist. Feeling better after surgery, just want to get better with the chemo. . . I am totally in sympathy with you

topsy glad you are feeling better. Enamoured is a very good word!

My lovely aunt-in-law, who has had bc twice, has sent me a huge tub of Sanctuary body souffle to use on my arm, to try to ease some of the nerve pain.

hope everyone OK this morning?

aw kind aunt-in-law ned

Still got cupcakes here,and some twiglets.
Hope letters come soon holsten and ned

Glad you haven't got tonsilitis topsy ! I do like brioche -I was going to make some but the recipe said to use a whole pound of butter and I felt a bit shocked !

Thinking of you Gig, - candle lit here too.

Holsten and Ned - waiting for appointment letters is very frustrating - especially when you check the post and they haven't arrived yet. I waiting fro one at the moment - to see a plastic surgeon about reconstruction - and I've had to ring up and badger twice now, - still hasn't arrived [grrr] - You want to know what's happening and get on with things.

That sanctuary body souffle is lovely stuff Ned - I got some as a present once - very luxurious, - what a nice auntie

Good the tonsillitis has gone topsy - you don't want to be faddling about with AB's when you are on your girls trips

Love the picture of DS in his evacuee costume MAS . OneInEight - my Uncle was a little boy in the war, and all the photos of him he seems to be wearing long grey shorts down to the knee, held up with one of those snake clip fastened elasticated belts, long socks, plain shirt with collar and dodgy knitwear. I use to look in charity shops for costumes - maybe you could cut down some old school trousers. Little girls - not so sure, maybe a cotton dress with a cardi, or as its winter a kilted, skirt blouse and cardi (I ought to know, I've got a history degree - my excuse - it was so long ago I've forgotten everything!)

Hope you managed to get back to sleep jane.

Home made brioche sound tricky MAS! - DH has a bread maker, and he's been making lots of lovely seeded wholemeal loaves recently - lovely with soup, or butter and jam

Have just had call from hospital, and got an oncologist appointment on Friday morning. . .

I am stupidly scared now I've actually got the appointment Feels a bit more real somehow, like I actually DO have cancer now.

Feel strangely weepy. Will go and pull myself together. . .

Oh ned I know how you feel so hand holding - its bloody scary.

Scan took ages (there can be no part of my back that wasn't done) so got results on disc and oncologist later.

Feel sick and drained

Oh Ned I know that feeling - you don't realise when you get plunged into this situation how everything becomes a kind of emotional hurdle to get over, its so tough.

The same goes for you Gig, - today is going to be very draining for you, what a hell of a lot of stuff to get through all on one day, try to make sure you have a bit to eat even if you don't much feel like it, and loads of good vibes for onc. appointment later.

Much hand holding and sympathy offered to you both. xx

hugs for both of you - ned remind yourself that your cancer has been removed,with clear margins and no nodes,so the chemotherapy is just going to do a thorough cleaning up Thinking of you both xxx

I've lit a candle for Giogondas too. Keep thinking of her - so hope she gets good news later. Must be the longest day for her.

Ned, hugs from me too, but MAS is right - you had cancer. It's gone. Totally normal and sane to have huge wobbles over Onc appts though. I'd bet we all have.

No time to say much else as still stuck in work mode. Waving to all though. Will catch up properly soon..

smee - have emailed you about card...

Have e-mailed you back, MAS.

!

Thanks for candles and vibes. Glad got today done but am up/down on where we are .

Oncologist was nice but no scan results yet. She did say that blips on lungs and spine could be cancer or nothing but didn't look obvious. Basically If are cancer need to treat so no further forward there.

Op definitely due this week- will be in for 4/5 days and likely to need crutches / rehab as some of muscle needs to go.
Also will have some kind of skin flap reconstruction (not sure what this is but maybe someone does here?). I am nervous in case grown and it's hard to get out without damage /touching nerve but have to trust surgeon. So although knew it was coming nervous about this.

Have next meet in 3 weeks to decide on radio and/or chemo (she didn't discusss this at length but wanted to mention in case tumor and other stuff made it necessary). The mention of chemo and also dh asking what grade of tumor (3 apparently ) made me scared.

I am relieved in a way to have this done but still scared as dont know what spots on lungs etc are . I know that may not mean no cure but am nervous.

Will add some dairy milk to fbs.

Also off to hide bf threads as think Hospital stay may put paid to that (and not looking forward to being away from dds).

Well you have got through today Gig, and it was a toughie by the sound of things.

I think if we have been lucky health wise, we get used to illness being DX and dealt with, and then we are better.
Then cancer hits us and we gradually realise we are in for a long haul. It's hard and you will find your own way through it that suits you, my advice for what its worth (and I stress again everyone is different in their reactions) is to not look too far ahead, just to the next bit of your treatment - so the surgery in your case, prepare yourself for that, concentrate on getting the stuff together you'll need in hospital and anything you'll need organised to help you get around when you get home.

If you look a the whole big picture, it gets too overwhelming, but if you take it one step at a time - the bigger picture gradually gets smaller.

Loads of luck for your op., massive hugs for being away from your DDs and bf worries, - I know that is very hard and emotional. Be kind and gentle to yourself, and spoil yourself with a little treat every day

Been a bit quiet on here but I'm reading. all round for those who are trembly, tired or otherwise.