**TAMOXIFEN 18**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my,we're starting our 18th !

morning all. well done to Drift, sounds like that was hard work.

It is so cold this morning.

I slept badly with pain, and feel like a really horrible mum today :( as i shouted at DD this morning, i have no patience im so irritable, shes only 4.5 years old and its so hard for her at the moment i said sorry, lots of hugs, and tried to explain that its not her fault but i feel so bad. she went off to school ok but i didnt want to let her go just want to cuddle her all day.

someone commented further up that this is a rollercoaster, it really is.

im going to go back to bed and then i need to get on to macmillan nurse again.

poor holsten - a hug for you. Love to everyone,am heading up to my room to work.

Crumpets - yes please topsy, - glad you are feeling a bit better today.

Ned - if you are at all concerned contact your surgery so the nurse/doctor can have a look at it. It could be an infection, or might be some bruising coming out, stitches pulling or something, but I would get checked just in case.

Holsten - hope the nurse turns up soon to do your stitches. You aren't a bad mum, I think little ones are a lot more canny than we think - they understand that people have bad days, and that Mummy is poorly at the moment. She'll forget about any harsh words at school (blimey I used to shout at mine in the morning when I wasn't ill - it's a fraught time of day, and they wouldn't get up! - they seem to have grown up unscathed )

Hope Dh is better soon MAS

Have a good day at work jane.

DD gets back at lunch time Smee - she stayed in London overnight - so I'll here all the gossip then

Remember my auntie who's just been DX (I mentioned her last week), she's booked in to have her op. at the beginning of March (They can't do it immediately because she had a fall over Christmas, and the stitches in her leg got infected, so they want that cleared up first). She's having the wire thing - is it wire excision? and they've said it seems to be in the milk duct. Does that mean its likely to be DCIS?

Kurri I think that means it is likely to be DCIS. They did a guide wire thing for me, in order to find all the bleeding ducts, as well as the lump they had found on the scan....but am not sure that that is the same - doesn't take much these days

Holsten - you are not a bad mummy, we have all been irritable with our dc before school. My mum (retired ed psyc) says it is important to show our dc that we are human and make mistakes, if we were perfect parents all the time it wouldn't help them understand how people work and their emotions. Now she could just be saying that to me to make me feel better...but choose to believe it. I agree with what Kurri says.

Topsy - sorry I missed the crumpets, but I hope you went back to bed. Tiredness and anaemia go hand in hand. You need a blood test, can they do that for you on Weds? Plus GP's do do house calls you know!! So open that door to kick Mrs. Paranoia out (she can pop round to mine for a bit as she hasn't visited here for a few weeks) and let the GP in to take care of you. Guinness is full of iron so get that down you too if you can stomach it.

Drift - well done you! I shall make you a to celebrate, a lot of miles travelled and a milestone passed.

Ned - if it is feeling uncomfortable it could be the beginning of an infection I guess. Can you get to the gp to have them have a quick look and prescribe some antibios if necessary?

MAS - thinking of Patience.

Smee - nothing like a friend telling you you are fabulous to boost you on a Tuesday morning Hope your ds' world saving duties are not too onerous for him, an interfering with his "snow" plans...you never know I saw the weather forecast for London last night...his amazing mummy may actually be able to pull that one off!

My skin is sore and itchy but bearable with the gels they gave me. The last 5 treatments were boosts to the actual tumour site, which is pretty standard I believe. So part of my skin is 5 days ahead. Was due to have last session today, but my one rest day was cancelled a couple of weeks ago.
Holsten - hope you get some relief very soon.

So is the 5 day ahead area feeling noticeably better compared to the tumour site?

My dd2 (aged 3) has just told me "Your a Genius Mummy".....I had just changed the toilet roll for her.....easily to please and impress when they are 3

Belated happy birthday to yuo, sparkles, so young

I hope that you find relief very soon, holsten, and that your skin eases up drift.

I have lit a candle for poor Patience and her family, and I am sending hugs to everyone because I have read, even though I haven't commented. I have my nose to the grindstone with lots of work to do at the moment, which is great.

I had to take dd to pilates yesterday because dh was working late and I was determined to go after missing 2 weeks with my cough. I dinned it into her that she would have to sit still and not talk, but the teacher gave her a mat and she did it right along with the rest of us. She looked very cute Gratifyingly for me though, she has achey muscles today, which makes me feel a bit less decrepit because I don't

So your aunt's not having a mastectomy, Kurri?? That's good then. I haven't a clue about whether it means DCIS though. I'd imagine that's most likely just because it's the most prevalent.

Ned, x-posted earlier. Get it checked, or at the very least call the BCN and see if she thinks you should. Infections are easily treated if you get them early.

Holstein, you sound like a lovely mum. Can't imagine there's a parent out there who hasn't snapped at their kids because they're feeling low. It's all part of life and as Sparkle and Kurri say important if they're to grow into empathetic human beings. Any more Maltersers on the doorstep? You should leave a note out with your order, like we used to for Milkmen.

Drift, fingers crossed then that your skin will hold up. You've done brilliantly to get through all that travelling. What's next? Do you have a follow up appt?

MAS, is there any news on Patience? Will you be able to see your American friend now she's here?

So cold here and the cat refuses to let me wear him like a scarf.

Very jolly unreasonable about the cat

No appointment yet - have asked if she can find me a neurospecialist who can give me clues about the numbness.

just popping in now for lunch - marmite bagel..then back to work..
Wire guides are used where the tumour isn't palpable -so often for DCIS - I had a wire guide as my invasive carcinoma was mixed up with dcis
News about Patience- my friend from New York sent an email to his older sister with details (incredible details -I'd've forgotten most of it,but he's a top journalist on the FT so is probably good at that- maybe he took shorthand ?) Anyway, if she can be fed without her swallowing reflex causing problems,they will do that but she is very liable to get aspiration pneumonia again and again.She may die shortly,or hang on- who knows-awful I am in contact with her eldest dd on fb but not her youngest who does a huge amount for her mum and will be finding this extremely hard.

Oh gosh...poor Patience, and her poor children.

Oh that's sad, MAS. Pneumonia does seem to hit a lot of poor souls with Alzheimers. I hope she's comfortable and in a caring ward. How awful for her family though.

Amber, a neurospecialist sounds like a good plan. Surely you can get an appt asap as Herceptin will-you-won't-you's so current?

V. sad about Patience MAS, it all sounds sadly familiar, but I hope very much she pulls through.

Smee - no mastectomy as far as I know, I am getting the details from Mum and she's a bit uncertain about some of them, but the guided wire seems to be what they are going for. I hope that means good news and limited invasion.

DD had a good time in London, - she spent the day at the National Gallery and was suitable impressed by the paintings, met up with a uni. friend and they enjoyed Les Mis. - although said it was very long. So nice little trip I think.

Good idea to ask for neurospecialist amber, hope you get an appointment soon.

Good luck with the work Sometimes, - I can imagine DD looking very sweet doing pilates

x-posted with Sometimes. v.sweet that your DD joined in. Is she a convert?

I think she is, she said it was the funniest thing ever

Poor Patience and her family, it sounds very like when DH's Dad was in hospital the year before last. I hope she is comfortable, and that she pulls through this crisis.

KK - i do think that sounds like a procedure where there is minimal invasion. I certainly hope so.

It sounds like your dd had a nice day in London, it would be nice to go and do something like that (though probably eye wateringly expensive).

Amber - everything is crossed for a suitable referral pronto.

Don't know if this is relevant to you guys on the mainland or not (they tend to do things a little differently over here) . But I got a letter from my GP surgery today saying I had been identified as someone who has surgery or treatment for cancer in the past year . And therefore was entitled to a winter fuel payment of £100 .
They enclose the form I had to sign , and I just send it back to Business Services Organisation over here and they send me a cheque !

Hope you guys are entitled to it too .

It could be v.expensive Sometimes, but she did it on the cheap. The only real expenses were her train fare (booked in advance + railcard, so cheaper) and the Show ticket, gallery was free, she took food and a big bottle of water with her, her friend was already in London staying in some cheap place, and she sneaked DD in so she could sleep on her floor found DD somewhere to stay . And this morning she walked back to Liverpool Street to save tube fares. The only things she bought in London was a pasta salad in Tesco!

That sounds do-able then, KK. I am glad she had a good time.

Topsy - I don't think we get that here

We are nearly at 1000 again!!!!!! Yikes!!

oh crikey- how did that happen ?

over here girls