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Original poster

News about spacecadet

364 replies

spacecadetshusband · 09/01/2006 09:21

Spacecadet has asked me to get everyone who was concerned about her know, that she was admitted to hospital last night. she is currently in MAU, where she will be for up 48 hours depending on how she responds to treatment. She had another chest x-ray and is on IV antibiotics and also a drip as she was dehydrated.She has asked me to say thankyou to everyone who was concerned about her.

OP posts:
Merlin · 12/01/2006 17:54

OMG - I'm not a psychiatrist or anything but sounds like he's scared that he will lose you so is just trying to block out your illness and carry on as normal. It seems like he's just never come to terms with what happened and ever since everything and everyone that has been importnat to him has been taken away or gone away. Don't know what to suggest other than he would probably benefit from counselling - but would he go?

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 19:01

i have suggested counselling before actually, he needs it really.

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:03

im thinking of leaving him, i wonder if the way he has behaved recently would count as unreasonable behaviour. there are lots of other issues, things have been bad for a while

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 12/01/2006 22:08

dont make any rash decisions spacey - especially when feeling so ill. I do agree your DH needs help, and i think it may be something he will HAVE to do - anyway of issuing an ultimatum before it gets to "unreasonable behaviour" divorce things..... try to concentrate on getting better first hun, then deal with the marriage side - both things at once is going to put your recovery one step forward, two steps back xxx

mummytosteven · 12/01/2006 22:08

time apart while he goes up North, and you sort out selling the house should give you both time to reflect on what you want, and whether you want to remain together. difficulty is you can analyse and understand until the cows come home why DH behaves as he does, and make whatever (if any) allowance you feel appropriate, but if he won't make an effort to change, you have to decide what you will accept, and what is ultimately unacceptable to you. it is difficult for men to discuss feelings - and he has had a very tough year too, not wishing to dismiss what you have gone through, physically and mentally, I wonder if there is any e-mail support type thing that he could access - only one that springs to mind is Samaritans.

Merlin · 12/01/2006 22:09

oh dear - are things really that bad? I guess if he wont have counselling or even really talk to you about things what can you do? You certainly deserve to be treated far better than he has done recently.

Is Nannyk coming round with the cocoa and cookies now by the way

Aloha · 12/01/2006 22:09

Bloody hell, just caught up with this. Can I nominate NannyK for a sainthood, Gizmo for a people's MBE and Spacecadet's h for the inner circle of hell, please.
PPH just made me laugh with her post, but of course it isn't funny.
I do realise he may have a serious emotional reaction of complete fear and panic to illness, but he is going to lose you at this rate. Have you considered counselling?

Piffle · 12/01/2006 22:10

Sapcey I remember some of your threadsd about your dh, he has treated you appallingly at times, after what you pair have been through, you should be supporting and pulling for the same side for you
For a normal view of what a dh would do
When I had my ectopic and bear in mind my dp is very vital in his company as one of two people who can resurrect a server that permanently has fatal errors and which is used for GPS aviation instrumentation - so very important.
He took 3 weeks off without asking his work - he said wife seriously ill, cannot work, will do bits as and when from home and will be available on phone
He cooked for me, looked after both kids one toddler and my 11 yr old ds. He did everything
I had to send him back to work after 10 days as he was so into his role he was suffocating me!
This is what you should expect from a husband.
When you're better, you might be able to deal with this stuff better
God bless NannyK
Shall we have an MN whip round for her?

Aloha · 12/01/2006 22:10

What about Relate counselling?

codnotamod · 12/01/2006 22:12

wotch spacey

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:12

i know you are both right, im not thinking entirely rationally at the mo, but its going to take a lot to forgive the way ive been treated tbh, i know i need to concentrate on getting better though, im rather looking forward to him moving to wales without me, how awful is that?

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:16

nannyk has gone to bed bless her, i did just want to say btw, that i couldnt under any circumstances have her coming here for nothing, so i have told her that i will be paying her the going rate for a nanny in cambs, for every hour she has worked plus her travel to and from here, i couldnt have slept at night if i didnt.

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:17

oh and i forgot to tell cod this but yes the doc in hospital get a look at my baps!

codnotamod · 12/01/2006 22:18

arf
did oyu exhale?

codnotamod · 12/01/2006 22:18
spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:20

lol! yep nearly had the docs eye out!

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 12/01/2006 22:20

The main thing at the moment hun is YOU... let NannyK deal with the kids - its her job after all! (I know she didnt have to help out, and she is an absolute angel for doing so, but please... you need to think of YOU and YOU only)

DH will go to wales, give you some breathing space and you can then re-evaluate the situation in peace.

You are VERY ill, and need to rest - not just physically, but mentally. Rest up and watch crappy TV until you fall asleep x x x

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:25

i know , trouble is, im obviously having to pay her and im upset with dh that im having to scrape the money together to pay a nanny when he should have been doing this(although it is fab having her here and i would recommend her to anyone), but, its the principal if that makes any sense, that he would rather that i pay a nanny, than take time off himself, because i obviously dont mean that much to him

Aloha · 12/01/2006 22:27

NO! He should pay! She is replacing HIM not you. Do you have a joint account?

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 12/01/2006 22:27

Spacey - dont worry, we will help. xx

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:28

no we dont have a joint account.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 12/01/2006 22:29

help

Caribbeanqueen · 12/01/2006 22:31

I think you do mean a lot to him. I think that he is just too scared to show it and let himself feel it in case he loses you. He is so used to the pattern of losing the people he loves and who mean the most to him, that he is too scared to admit to himself and to you how much you mean to him in case the pattern repeats itself.

I do think that you need to have a long talk before you commit to moving to Wales with him though (although I don't know the background and reasons for the move).

Nice to meet you this afternoon

spacecadet · 12/01/2006 22:33

it was nice to meet you too CQ, i sent you an e-card, hopefully you got it.
as far as dh is concerned i fel a bit in no mans land at the mo.

Caribbeanqueen · 12/01/2006 22:34

I did get it, thank you.

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