**TAMOXIFEN 17 **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

blimey- we're almost up to our limit...so brand new shiny,sparkling thread.

Afternoon all.

Hello to the new ladies, I'm so sorry you have to be here on this thread but the support has sustained me and lots of others while we've been going through treatment together and we will hold your hands whenever you need us.

Butterflies, thank you for popping back. Happy New Year to you too.

KK, we're staying in tonight. I know I shall get very emotional at midnight while I kick 2011 into touch and would rather do that with just my DH and DSs to witness it. I will have the obligatory glass of something at the ready.

I had a wobble last night - too much thinking. I've had two lots of bad news this week. Two young friends of DS2 passed away within days of each other and it's just too sad for words. DS2 knows about the first friend but I haven't told him yet about his second friend because he's gone off to footie with his dad and I didn't want to spoil his day - I will break the news to him gently tomorrow. It has set me on a downward spiral and got me worrying about things. I wish I'd asked lots more questions when I saw my surgeon and oncologist but my mind went blank and, now I've finished treatment, I have these questions whirling around in my head and they are unsettling me. Do you think I should contact the BC nurse next week or what?

Just off to put the kettle on for a if anyone needs one. Oh, and there's Christmas cake left - it was huge and very popular with brothers and their families (must have been the brandy I laced it with).

Afternoon tea and an evening drink sounds lovely MAS, - I am getting too old to stay up until midnight

Afternoon All

Hiya butterflies , good to see you back and hear that things are going so well for you .

Sorry to hear of your bad news figgy . What a knock that must be .
If you have any questions I would definitely call the BC nurse . Is there anything we can help you with ?

Tonight in the topsy household will be the the tradition of mum passing out (not drunkenly , just tired !) before midnight . And DH and the DC staying up to watch Jolls Hollands Hootenanny on the TV .
Not very fond of New Years Eve , never have been . Seems a sad holiday to me for some reason .
But I very much hope for a much better year than this one !
And wish you all a happy and healthy New Year .

So sorry to hear of your bad news Figgy - it is so hard, and knowing you have to tell your DS2 and he will be upset is awfully difficult for you.

I think days and periods of panic and worry about it all are totally normal, - I still get them - and they often come in the wake of bad news of other kinds.
Definitely phone your BC nurse, she can talk through things with you, or put you in touch with someone who can help.

Also its worth asking if you can see your onc. or surgeon to ask your questions, - I felt like that too, - you get so caught up in the treatment, that when it finishes you suddenly realise you're not sure about certain things.

MacMillan might be worth a try too, - they have those 'having a bad day' adverts, I've never tried the helplines, but I have chatted with MacMillan nurses and found them really understanding and helpful.

topsy - I agree, I've never been keen on NYE, it is a poignant sort of holiday - and I know I'll be thinking about my Dad.

But for anyone who is celebrating or having a party, have a lovely time

figgy- that is terribly sad news about ds2's friends- poor lad - I hope he copes ok with the news. Do call your BCN - that's what they are there for -even after active treatment you should have access to them,and beyond then. If there's anything we can help with,or you just need to say it out loud,don't hesistate.
I am not a fan of NYE either- which is why I try to retreat to bed - it's all that forced jollity and quite frankly after Christmas I've had enough. There is a sadness to it too- not sure why.
ILGC thinking of you especially because of dh and kk for your dad.

Oh heck Figgy...horrible news...hugs/ for you, for sure

Oh Figgy, that's sad. I hope you can comfort your poor DS. fwiw I think feeling down goes with finishing treatment. You've no longer anything to get through, so you can start to be truly shocked and scared by what you've been through iyswim. My BCN told me they often worry about women who've coped well through treatment once they've finished, as they often fall hardest emotionally. Not sure how it helps to know it's normal, but it does somehow! You take care xx

Waving to Butterflies. Lovely to see you again.

Ned, definitely stick with us. We're good at hand holding.

Silver, that sounds like good news. Hooray !!

OneinEight, hope you're feeling okay-ish still.

Marmite, you too. Hard to be at the start of it all, but weirdly it gets a lot easier once you know what's ahead. Ask us any and all questions before next Saturday. Doesn't matter how daft or serious. One of us will be able to help.

Stars if you're reading, I really, really hope the next year sees you bloom back to health. Must be tough being in hospital, but surely better's ahead.

ILGC, hope you and the DC had as good a Christmas as you could. Must have been impossible in lots of ways, but I hope you had some fun amidst it all. If any family deserves a bit of luck next year, it's yours.

Kurri, I hope it wasn't too sad not to have your dad around this year. You too Figgy. I think this is your first Christmas without your mum. Must be an odd time, but hope it wasn't too odd to enjoy yourselves.

Waving to all others, as have no time. I'm not one for NY madness either, but we're having best of both worlds. Going to friends in a bit - should be fun as there will be a small crowd of my v.best friends and our hosts are both amazing cooks, so we'll be fed a feast am sure. We will slope back home when DS is too tired to cope and DS and I will curl up and watch Jools Holland. Perfect.

Wishing us all an astoundingly good 2012 then. I'm sure it will be hard work for those on treatment, but we'll cheer you through it. Thanks to all for the fantastic advice, friendship and solidarity this year. You really are amazing xx

ps: Sparkle and Pink, if you're lurking, warmest wishes hurtling your way. Hope you're both having fun somewhere xx

yes,love from me too to sparkle pink and stars
And SR
and figgy of course,was forgetting the loss of your dear mum too.

Happy New Year to all of you. Hope it's a good you for each of you.

It's a weird time to be waiting for results - finding it difficult to look back on 2011 (which has been the most intense year ever, spilt from my husband just before Christmas last year) or forward to 2012 until I have them. It's my little boy's birthday today and we had a lovely day though :-)

happy birthday to junior camel and hang on in there x

Hello everyone wishing all of you a happy new year, I will be delighted to see the back of 2011. My only problem with it is that next week my baby boy will be 18! Where have those years gone, it seems only yesterday he was toddling around and he just left the house wearing fur pants carrying a club!
Seriously I truly hope all of you who are struggling at the moment get some respite in the new year. I thought I would feel bleak forever but I am finding moments when I actually feel happy creeping in occasionally which is wonderful. Let's hope 2012 is a good year, love to all

Happy New Year Everyone.

Happy New Year everyone! Hope 2012 brings peace and many moments of joy . Have downed a celebratory to you all and am now off to my cosy bed. xx

Happy New Year to all the Tamoxifen Girls, you are the very best. xx

Happy new year one and all

Wishing a happy, healthy New Year to everyone.

Happy New Year ! Lovely dinner party last night - ate and drank lots in the run up to midnight (and afterwards) ! Strange not to put the radio on for the chimes of Big Ben and there were no fireworks. And most of the conversation in French - which I understood quite a bit of, but my conversational french is not up to debate about religion and politics... Time to get up for a soon, I think. I will wind the shutters up and see whether it's sunny again...

My first post of 2012 on my favourite thread ! Happy New Year lovelies x

Hoping everyone on here has the happiest of months ahead...

It's a New Year !
It's going to be bigger and better than last year .
That's an order

Off to Grannys for dinner today . She always does the full turkey dinner for New Years Day again .
Deeeeeelish !

Hope it's a great day , and an even better year for you all .
If anyone deserves a fabulous 2012 , it's you ladies .

I would just like to send you all the biggest thankyou for getting me through what I can now officially say was the worst year of my life . Without you all I KNOW I would have tipped over the edge . Your humour and wise words have helped me more than you could ever know .

Happy new year to all of you fabulous ladies ! Good to be here with you all, and hoping 2012 brings us all health and happiness x

I'll second that !

Hi ladies, I'm back! I dergistered under my old name and got all my thousands of posts deleted, so now feel I can continue to post here, and on things like 'Chat' or AIBU' without "outing" any of my dcs.
Welcome to the newer ladies. I can give some hope to those of you in that awful 'waiting' time. Although I was diagnosed as having breast cancer, I've had the lump removed and am having radiotherapy at the moment - I didn't have to have chemotherapy and I can honestly say I've not been in pain at any time. The worst bit is the emotional "what ifs" that pop into your head. As I say, I've had 12 or my 17 rads, and am lucky enough to not have had any soreness or pain from that either. Apart from a tablet a day (Tamoxifen) for 5 yrs, they reckon that'll be it for me.
I know some of the ladies on here have been through so much, but I just wanted to reassure you that it can hit you with a much lighter touch. When I first found my lump, I thought we would be talking about how long I'd got to live, but I want to reassure you it isn't like that for lots of people nowadays, with early detection and improvements in treatments. The waiting and worrying was far worse than the treatment for me.
The ladies on here are a fantastic support.
I wish you all a Happy New Year.

Finding the waiting very frustrating today. I'm not upset or anxious or worrying as such. I just wish there was a fast forward button so I could know one way or another. I am watching trash TV and knitting (my little boy is at his dad's with his granny who is visiting), but finding it hard not to be distracted.

The thing is that I'm not worried that they're going to tell me I have BC. In fact, I'm fairly certain that they're not. But I am suspicious of a diagnosis of lymphoma because, as well as the abnormal lymph node finding, I have had symptoms of that for several months - night sweats that leave my bed drenched and me dripping, severe itching and (possibly) weight loss. I say 'possibly' for the weight loss because I have been dieting this year, so may not be unexplained but I have lost an extraordinary amount very quickly.

The reason I'm being distracted today is the itching. I put the night sweats down to heating or just one of those things and the itching to a skin reaction to the sweat - sounds gross :)

Anyway, I can't make the time go any faster. Wish I was at work though - must be sick :o