**tamoxifen** number 15 ****

[MaryAnnSingleton]

can you believe it ??!!

Oh Kurrikurri. Am so sorry to hear about your Dad and your Mum as well.

Is there any way you could ask the ward to feed your Mum, even offering to pay? Are there any neighbors that could take food to her? I can fully understand she probably won't feel like eating.

Why does she not want you there? I really feel for you.

KK am so sorry to hear about your dad- and how really worrying for you about your mum. I hope there is some way she can get some proper food. As stars says perhaps a neighbour might bring in something for her. Awful for you -and your mum. Am thinking of you and send much love xxx

Oh dear kk. so sorry to hear about your Dad. The hospital will no doubt do lots of tests and should be able to tell you some information soon. On the ward where my Auntie is there is a stroke coordinator working monday to friday who has been really brilliant talking to my cousin when she was abroad. Maybe there is someone similar there?

KK, so sorry to hear about your poor dad having had a stroke and your mum not eating properly. I hope you can think of a way to sort something out about the food and that your dads situation improves. What an awful worry for you. Sending you a hug.

KK so sorry you have this to deal with as well

I asked for my records I think I said I was going to, and they've arrived this morning.
It feels weird to read about yourself as an abstract hospital number.

Anyway it says
5 cancers were identified in the left breast 3 x 15 mm grade 2 invasive ductal cancers
1 x retro areola grade 2 ductal cancer 7mm
Also a low grade DCIS below the nipple 9mm
2:10 lymph nodes were involved with metastic spread and extra capsular spread was seen.
All of the invasive tumours were ER positive and HER2 negative.

Now should I google all that or will it scare me witless

Oh Kurri, it is so difficult with parents but your mum knows that she can call on you if needed. Where I am the local Age Concern do a good neighbour scheme where people look in and boil an egg etc it might be worth seeing if there is one near your mum.
I hope everyone has a good weekend, btw Topsy just been in Sainsburys and saw a woman in a purple fur jacket and the most amazing pink fur boots, sooooo fab! So I slunk of to a corner in my boring, comfortable, shopping shoes. Next week it will be stilettos!

Don't google Earth, everyone is different and you get a very inaccurate perception from websites. General information is good but it is not worth looking at specifics because we are all different. If I believed what I googled I would be reclining on a sofa waiting for my funeral fortunately my DH was a GP and was able to explain it to me but it sounded so much worse than it was/is.

Unfortunately ILGC my Dh is a steel worker, no help at all there

earth googling only reveals very out of date results . The change in treatments and outcomes have leaped and bounded in the last year alone . So all the results on google are at least 5 years + out of date .
I would make an appointment with your breast care nurse and get her to translate your paperwork .
If you have a cancer savvy GP ask them . Mine doesn't really know much about cancer so I stick to the BCN .

kk you poor thing , you must be so worried . Fingers crossed for your dads recovery . If your mum is spending long periods in hospital you will often find that relatives get takeaway food sent in . Most food places in the vicinity will deliver to hospitals . Depends on if she likes chinese food or kebabs though

DH is having his eyes checked whilst I post this on my phone .
Off for lunch next , then possibly a bit of hat shopping for me ...

Oh Kurri, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Sending you a huge hug. I'd say do a supermarket shop. I just opened the door to our first one from Sainsburys as my brother's family are coming to stay. They give you a specific hour delivery slot, so you could time it so your mum's in, or maybe get it delivered to a neighbour, so they can help her with it?

at Topsy and her delivery man. Did the shoes arrive??

Earth, if you google, you still won't find answers. The sod of this disease is that nobody can tell you for definite what the future holds. Some with a lot less cancer at this stage than you will be unlucky. Some with more will be fine. It's a lottery with lots of mental anxt attached. I'd say looking at your list, that there are lots of positives though. The fact that it was only in 2 of your lymph nodes is good as though it's trying to spread it hasn't got too far (mine was 4/22, so I've thought about this a lot!). Another huge plus is obviously that they've taken the cancer. Finally, I'm guessing you're eligible for Tamoxifen or similar? If so, then that's another plus as it should stop similar tumours growing in the future. All you can really do now is to trust the treatment and don't let the mental side of it hound you too much if you can help it. That's why this thread is so brilliant as we can look out for one another.

MAS, how are you? Are your boys back today?

I'm trying to find enough bedding for people who are staying tonight, and scooping up the dust. DS and DH are carving a pumpkin. [hsmile]

Meant to say on the thread name, that I quite like not being the 'cancer' thread. Not sure why, but I've always hated that label - also hate being called a 'Survivor' for some reason and have an aversion to those pink ribbons.. I tend to have a quick glance at the General Health board when I log on to see if anyone on there might need to know about us though. Hope we catch lots that way.

Kurri, hope your Dad is comfortable and gets better soon - your poor mum too, so worrying. Some good ideas about supermarket deliveries - thinking of you all x

Kk- very best wishes for your dad and poor mum. Hope he makes a complete recovery

just adding my thoughts on thread name,in all the hours I've spent looking on here it has been very helpful that it's not called breast cancer for when kids have looked over my shoulder when passing. So I like the name

Still at mils and have been so emotional , like I've been in a car accident or something!! I've still got this appointment on weds and don't know if they've anything else to tell me. I know consultant was so shocked it was benign, but am wondering now if these changes in my breast mean anything, make future problems more likely maybe

Anyway. Hi to new and old. Will be back to check on you all very soon. Xx

Crikey, just had a late shower and was amazed to see that my skin under my armpit has turned black from the rads. My chest area is conker brown but Im hoping that doesnt turn black. Its a bit of a shock but isnt painful, just hot. I was wondering if the skin turns back to its normal colour eventually?

kurri...oh no what a worry. i know when i was in hospital paitents was allowed to use the nurses canteen where they also do hot meals and i would often sneak visitors in to escape the ward no one seemed to notice plus the prices wasnt to bad and cheaper than the normal hospital cafes.is there anyway you can phone the ward and ask if she could use the canteen and maybe bully her a little bit so she does so. i bet your mums to warn out and stressed to cook herself a meal.

figgy...sorry i cant remember where you are on your treatment how many you have had or if you have finished. i have heard that does happen to some people mine just looked badly sunburnt but luckily that only happened on my last session.must admit it seems to have effected my mastectomy area my scar area has gone all twisted and my skin resembles a plucked chicken lots of open pores and tiny wrinkles. dont know whats going on in my side feels really sore and i seem to have a squishy area but im guessing thats a bit of seroma left over.

KK, sending all good thoughts your way, I'm so sorry you have this to deal with as well. It's great that you can do something practical like seeing to it that your mum eats well. Would it be an idea for the hospital staff where your dad is to know your situation, they may be a bit more supportive of your mum if that were the case? Sorry if I missed it earlier, do you have siblings that will share this with you?

I really need to ask this, when others have had the sentinel node biopsy, are they tested during the operation and if found to be postive then the auxillary clearance is done there and then? I'm confused over this, I'm sure the surgeon said I would get the results first and further nodes are removed later.

smee boys are back tomorrow - have missed them ! Have fun with your visitors and pumpkin ! Am ok today
figgy My skin was black as in burned -it peeled off disgustingly `and everything went back to the right colour !
drift Some hospitals have the facilities to check the sentinel nodes during surgery so that they can be removed if necc. but I think it's more usual for them to be tested afterwards (my pathology report details all the these things together)

MAS, thanks for the reply. Just want to add that I surmise you are a veteran here and am grateful for what you do. I did wonder at your comments regarding your recent meeting with your bcn and hope you are OK.

ah drift- you are right-I am a veteran ! My bcn has been totally wonderful and provides lots of emotional support - I had lots of unresolved stuff which came out because of diagnosis and she has really helped me -because of her encouragement I got bereavement counselling which was brilliant in puttiong me back on track.

Hi drift mine were tested during surgery, came back positive and were removed, before the op I gave consent for this if necessary. However they were then tested again in the path lab and apparently I had given a false positive so the removal was unnecessary. But I must admit I don't care! Better safe than sorry even though I have problems with lymphodema, actually dropped the Hobnobs during a meeting recently!!!

thanks ILGC, so is that the usual procedure, ie the consent form?

Some time ago I wrote a poem which is on the home page of another website.I shared part of it with MAs and she thought you might like it too.
FOR YOU
You are a stranger
I've never seen your face
You are my friend
I'll walk beside you
In this new and scary place.

You are a stranger
I've never heard your name
I'll hold your hand
Share your waiting
Tell you we are just the same.

You are a stranger
I haven't heard your voice
You know my worries
Speak my language
When to cry and when rejoice.

You are no stranger
Neighbour,sister,friend
You're a woman
We're together
Bound until this journey's end.

I have tweaked it a bit from the original.It is verse not poetry but it is heartfelt for all my cyber friends who have been faced with this dreadful disease.

Where I am it is and to be fair I live in one of the best areas of the country for BC. Take care

Drift-I had a follow-up appointment a week after surgert for lymph node results and treatment plan.
KK I am so sorry to hear about your dad-it is awful for your mum too.Sometimes things just seem loaded against you dont they-dont lose sight of yourself in all the worry though.