**t*a*m*o*x*i*f*e*n** number 14

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

l4k, that's awful that you have to wait. Have you got a BC nurse or anyone at the clinic to call? Ime, BC are brilliant as they get the emotional side in a way the others don't, so cut through the red tape and get things moving for you.

Cakes, yeay for holiday. probably missed you, but have fun.

Jane, this is getting spooky. Where did you go to school? Wasn't C.H. was it?

Sparkles, glad your head's clearing. sorry I can't summarise all as it's too fast moving, but Figgy's through her rads and Pink's just got a couple to go, so there's good news alongside the sadder of new people joining us.

Butterflies, I've just had an elective mx - two weeks ago today. Had grade 3, 1.7mm tumour in right breast, plus a fair amount of DCIS last year, so they thought mastectomy was the only option. Then once through treatment I talked them into doing the other side too. I had to go and see a psychologist to prove my sanity, but it was relatively straightforward. My mother had BC too, but I'm lucky as she's still alive. Ask anything you want, but fingers crossed you'll get good news first, then decide.

Am feeling a bit out of it with this Cheeselets fixation, as have never ever had one. I can feel a hunt to Sainsbury's coming on. Does that count as a good after school activity?

Missed out a 'nurse' in that bit to l4k - even if you haven't been introduced to one, call the unit and ask to speak to one of them. They will understand and should help. x

No Smee Not quite that spooky. I went to kehs then got chucked out of Solihull sfc after a term and finshed up at Archbishop Ilsleys in Acocks Green Enjoyed the gallery today. best bits of hoard are on tour but remainder still lookss good!

have rung cons sec and other hospital clinic and am waiting to see who gets me seen quickest
am trying not to freak out while getting 3 kids ready for halloween party
hope they have alcohol there
feel very strange,I am .........don't know.....can't explain

I'm trying to get an idea of which posters are in a similar situation. I read around my posts but can't catch up on everything. Other's experiences I find really affect me emotionally and it's all so much to process at the moment. Also, in this way I find it so hard to be just chatty because all I want atm is a ballpark information infusion. 14K (forgive me if this is wrong) you are still undergoing tests and have not had the full diagnosis? I'm only a little bit ahead of you in that case.

drift, yes thats right.still trying to get appointment for steriowatsit core biopsy
I'm really struggleing to work out everyone story.
but then my brain is not working properly atm.
I did try last night to work out where your story began,drift,but didn't manage it.sorry

I think it might help if we all give a brief summary . I'll start .

topsy aged 42 .
Diagnosis at one stop breast clinic - 13/5/11 .
Grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma with lymph node involvement .
Mastectomy and node clearance 2/6/11 .
Diagnosed with lung secondaries 4/7/11 .
Started chemo 6/7/11 .
Have last chemo (for now) 26/10/11 .

Hope this helps make sense for you .

14k - My brain is not working as it should, goes into overdrive and then I have periods of total detachment. I have to say that I wrote a long reply and pressed post message and I got an error message aaaarrrrrgggg! I responded to invitation for mamo (I'm 48) thought great! another tick for me, just like I have been fortunate to have the all clear for the routine smears. Had letter 10 days later inviting me to attend for further pictures. Going to post this now and will continue.

Attended and had another scan, this time targeted on one area. Then waited a bit, saw Dr who said they could see several cysts, but one they were not sure of. Consequently, ultra sound and biopsy x3. Went for results last week when it was confirmed that it was 13mm hormone receptive thingy. Back today to see surgeon and bc nurse when I could express all my fears.

Sorry this is in bits, we live in the sticks and internet connection is not one of the perks.

On Nov 7 I will have wire insertion (because it cannot be felt) prior to lumpectomy on the day. The wire is inserted to guide the surgeon. I have an idea of how you must be feeling, others here told me I would feel better when treatment begins, and I am now grudgingly coming to accept this.

Topsy - the way you have expressed it makes total sense. I need to keep a diary and I think I will do so before surgery. atm I'm all over the place with appointments and info and stuff. It will help and save the effort of recall. In time I'm sure my husband will produce a spreadsheet.

14k - I had a read back for a few pages, so very sorry for your other matters that you are dealing with. Hope your son is OK.

I (before cancer) was a childminder in my own home . So I kept a daily diary of everything anyway . So consequently (being the anal list writer that I am) I have kept a note of all my appointments . And also things the docs and nurses have said to me . Because as soon as I walk out of a hospital my mind goes blank and I forget everything they have said to me !

I am a bit luckier than most as nearly all DHs relatives are medics , we have GPs , raidiologists , cardiologists etc , so whenever I am confused about something I can always ask one of them .
But there is so much info fired at you , it is so easy to get confused .

Prior to cancer I was always a great believer in information is power . But as soon as I got my diagnosis , I refused to research or read anything . I was totally in the bury my head firmly in the sand zone !

Once the surgery was done , I came round and started getting informed .
I think I could only process so much before surgery , and I just switched off so I could get through it .

The ladies here said to me right at the beginning to just concentrate on what was happening there and then . And it was the best advice I got !

Now , who wants a glass of ?

The most theraputic thing I did today was to phone my eldest brother on the pretext of wanting a potted history of Gaddafi, which I genuinely did, and got, We put aside the other stuff for the moment and had a good laugh.

Topsy - yes please

laughter is good. Fraid I am tired and emo today. Mum has acute confusion brought on by uti...

I was 44 when diagnosed (March 2010). Grade 3 with 4/22 nodes infected, had mx, chemo and rads which finished last December. Am now on Tamoxifen and have just had preventative mx too.

Drift, honestly once you've had the op and got all your results you probably will feel better. I didn't believe it, but it's true, as then it's more tangible and you know what's ahead. Stick here though, as it really does save your sanity.

jane, I'm a KECH girl, so we're not that very far apart. How funny. I must head back to the gallery next time I'm up seeing my mum and dad. Haven't been for years.

Butterflies, will be thinking of you tomorrow. xx

I've done my usual thing and overdone it. Lots of running between meetings, plus to and fro school, then daftly agreed to even more walking after school. Am wiped out, but feel rather stupid as it's self inflicted.

Hope everyone's feeling better than me...

lol! Remember some foundation event at Camp Hill early on. We lived just over the border so couldn't apply to Camp Hill. Wasn't Miss Percival Head Mistress there? I remember travelling down to London with her once when I was at Uni...

44 on dx (August 2011) Grade 2 with no nodes involved. Had wide local excision and sentinel node biopsy on 1st September. On tamoxifen and starting radiotherapy next week.

Feeling fairly crap tbh but have a glass of beer to compensate for missing pub night with best friend...

Upset with Mum being ill. She had her hair cut and blow dried today for the first time in a year or so and it looked lovely too... :( Worried about Auntie but have phoned hospital and at least she is okish today.

Had quite forgotten about Miss Percival, jane. Can think of better people to accompany on a trip to London.

Very hard for you with your mother so confused and now your Auntie in the stroke ward too. Beer sounds good - you need treats.

Yes, but I remember she was very nice on that train. She was our deputy head before she went to Camp Hill so knew loads of my teachers.

Jane once your mums antibiotics have kicked in you will see a huge difference . UTIs can cause severe confusion , to the point of people being informally diagnosed with Alzheimers . 24 hours and she will be so much better .

< Hands out wine liberally although I have moved onto a big mug of hot chocolate >

Has anyone got any appointments tomorrow ?

She had a bit of a hard time at Camp Hill because she followed an old school dragon called Miss Miller, who for some strange reason, we were all v.fond of. Miss P was a bit more cerebral and placid, so she took an age to win everyone over. I don't think I ever even spoke to her.

Aww. Poor Miss P. Wonder what happened to her?

Aw Topsy I hope so! I'm a bit worried cos she has nt started any yet cos of difficulty getting a sample of wee...

Janechocchip - I'm due for a wide local excision and sentinel node biopsy on 7/11. How long before you could go back to activities, say swimming? It's such a frivilous question I know I'm going out of my mind tbh between periods of common sense. Having crying jags all over the place but not in front of family.