**tamoxifen the 13th**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- anticipating halloween

Downton Abbey's another show I have yet to discover. Am I too late? Though MAS, we did watch 'Fresh Meat' - v.funny.

Interesting you all talking of faith. My family were Christian and took me to church, CofE Primary, etc but I can't remember ever believing any of it. I wish I did in lots of ways, but like Kurri, I find strength through a belief in humanity. In seeing the good in life and how extraordinary people are.

janemacer, I swam in Brownie swimming galas at Tudor Grange.

ILGC, 8 months is no time at all. tbh, I'm amazed by you - you've been through so much and yet you're obviously still functioning and living life. Footie sounds a blast.

Off to Cardiff for the day tomorrow for a work meeting. I am ridiculously excited by the promise of the long train trip there and back, so plentiful time to read and watch the world go by. MAS, think how excited you'd be by having the house to yourself!! Definitely do it. I love time to myself. Makes me a much better mother/ partner too.

Wishing everyone a good Monday then. Cakes, you have to go get a dog. Tell DH it's for Christmas. Sounds gorgeous.

DD has just asked if Santa can bring her a puppy for Christmas .
We told her Santa doesn't believe in giving people animals at Christmas as it's too noisy and busy for them .
Don't think she swallowed it , I sense a campaign brewing ........

Enjoy Cardiff tomorrow smee , what book are you taking ?

And mas I have recorded Fresh Meat on your reccommendation , and will watch whilst the DC are at school this week .

Right , time to get the DC organised for bed . Make sure school bags are packed etc .

Topsy, it's 'Train to Budapest' by Dacia Maraini. Very moving and beautifully written, though am only half way through.

My poor deprived DS has also started a Christmas campaign. Started off with the unoriginal 'I need an X-Box', then when I said I thought that might be too expensive, he started to wonder if he could have a £10 note. I told him maybe if he was very, very lucky.

aw @ junior smee ! Have a lovely trip to Cardiff- I love train journeys ! Am hoping dh won't mind my staying home - I can work,eat all manner of odd things, not have to clear up after ds and Celeste can sleep on my bed !
I've come to Downton A rather late smee, but it's one of those things you can pick up. Glad you liked Fresh Meat- hope you do topsy !

Uuugh - Monday - nuff said .......

grey and gloomy here-and damp..
Please send good thoughts to a friend who is going to breast clinic today -recall after screening..sweet girl hadn't wanted to make a fuss,but is nervous

The best of good thoughts to your friend, MAS.

Positive thoughts to your friend mas .

Sun is shining here , but have a DS off school with an alledged tummy bug . I will give him the benefit of the doubt for today , but think he will be going back tomorrow !

Morning all. available. Everything crossed for your friend, MAS.
I do like my GP. Rang her, explained that I have had the silly cough for over 10 days, and she's putting out a prescription for me. No fuss and bother at all.

Then this afternoon I get to see Mrs Oncologist/Radiotherapy Supremo to discuss the 'what's next' bits. At 5pm. In rush hour traffic. Another three hours of my life in traffic that I'll never get back. Nevermind...

Hello Ladies, its has been a very long time...how are you all doing?

I'm sorry I just disappeared. I'm not really sure why? I had a lot going on and I think I felt it was hard to keep up with everyone. 2011 has been a tough year, as well as the big C, I have also had to deal with restructuring at work, re-applying for my job, problems with childcare and pre-school and a whole host of other issues (won't bore you with them).

Anyway, the good news is I gow a job which is in fact better than the one I was doing and for more money!

I finished my chemo on the 4th August (8 in total - 4 FEC and 4 Doxetaxol) and surived :) My hair started growing back before my chemo finished and I now have a really good, thick layer of hair. I even used the hairdryer the other day which made me smile.

I had a masectomy and auxillary clearance on the 8th September and was out the next day. Only one surgical wound. Nothing under the arm which means my arm movemnet has been pretty good. I had an expander put in so I still have a cleevage :) It felt pretty tight at the time but is getting better each day.

I am now waiting for my radiotherapy which I understand is a walk in the park compared to everything else :) Then I can have full reconsruction sometime next year.

I feel ok although I am constantly worried about lymphodema - how do you deal with that? I have 2 more weeks sick leave and then plan to go back to my new job.

I would loe to hear how you are all doing? I don't think I will have time to read through all your posts

LGF xxx

LGF !! lovely to see you- and well done for getting through everything so far- and having hair again !! Radiotherapy should be pretty ok - look after your skin -i think the tiring bit is the too-ing and fro-ing every day !

LGF!!! how great to hear from you, we have been wondering about you and about LimeJelly!!

I am so glad to hear that you have a decent head of hair, and that treatment is going well. The bigger and better job must be a big help, too

As regards the lymphoedema - did you have the blue dye thing when you had your surgery? Apparently that helps to remove the likelihood of lymphoedema. But in any case i am told it is much rarer than it was. Take all the precautions (gardening gloves, avoiding cuts, burns and bruises etc) and do some exercise to keep the lymphatic fluid moving. And try not to worry.

kurri...your little doggie is not daft,i always find cheese or cheese spread triangles work with my dog.

smee..enjoy your trip, im another one that loves train journeys.

mas...will be really nice to have some time to yourself to relax and do your own thing,best of wishes to your friend.

amber..a good gp is so important,good luck with your appointment today.

LGF...great to see you, i was wondering how you were getting on also great news about your new job.i remember you were a little ahead of me in your treatment looks like im a little ahead of you now(my chemo was stopped because i had a servere reaction to taxotere)so i had my mastectomy earlier than expected and im starting rads on the 6th oct.

job centre rang back this time a much more sympathetic lady who said she classed it as exceptional circumstances so i dont have to go in,she also said because i claim carers allowance not to worry as there was no pressure for me to get a job(at last someone who knows the benefit system) but she also went on to explain when i go for rads how i can claim my travelling expenses back and surprisingly told me to apply for DLA and that it could be back dated for 3 months.i told her i thought i could only claim for DLA if it was terminal and she told be no it can be awarded for shorter periods for circumstances like mine and to appy anyway.

anyway she was lovely and gave me her number and told me if i experience any kind of benefit or money problems to give her a call and she would help me.she also said no one would contact me for 6 months which will help me with recovery time.

Pink, I am very pleased to hear that at least someone sensible came to your aid.

MAS, I meant to say before (but my phone rang, and I hit send) - a week to yourself sounds lovely. don't think you should feel bad about it (though you can expect serious envy coming from over here). it will be a great time to regroup and think your own thoughts. Bliss.

That was meant to say 'at last' not 'at least'

pink - pm'd you x

Lots of luck to your friend MAS, - I hope everything turns out fine for her

I hope Smee had a good journey and enjoyed her book!

Pink - I'm glad common sense has kicked in at the job centre, and that you got some useful information, - hopefully that's a worry out of the way for you

LGF - lovely to see you, and great that you have finished your chemo - well done, and good luck with your rads. Sorry your year has been generally tough (apart from the BC), but onwards and upwards - I'm sure 2012 will be a good one. Brilliant news about your new job, - that will be a big boost for you, and really make you feel as if things are getting back to normal.

Good luck at Mrs Onc/rads amber, but drive sounds horrendous.

Hello Cakes

I went to yoga this morning, - won't have my Monday class for a while as my teacher is going in for a breast recon. op (she had BC last year). I'm going to make her a card and look for a nice poem/bit of writing about healing, moving on etc. to put inside.

Good idea KK! A handmade card would be a wonderful thing to receive. I the recon goes well for her.

Pilates tonight for me. I have missed a couple of classes just recently because dh has been working late and I have had to stay in for dd, and I feel stiffer and more lethargic for it. I have swum instead but it doesn't seem to hit the spot in quite the same way. God, I am an old fart.

Oh I'm an old fart too, - I shuffle around in my slippers trying to remember what I was going to do. 'What did I come in here for?' I say as I enter a room

Me too. Bloody depressing. Thank God for wine.

that's good news pink !
Home made card sounds just the thing KK - she will love it !
Good news from my friend- she had lots of mammos and ultrasounds to try to find whatever it was (I think maybe a breast mouse,as it kept moving) -at one point they put a needle in to locate it for a biopsy and then did another mammogram to make sure it was in the right place -this mammo gave a better picture so they abandonned the biopsy and were pretty sure it wasn't anything worrying...phew ! She was quite shocked that at least two women were given cancer diagnoses while she was there.

Ooh look how pretty!

In the excitement of the new emoticon, I forgot to say I'm really pleased for your friend MAS

Hope you had a lovely day in Cardiff Smee and managed to get lots of reading and world watching done.

MAS, I hope your friend got on okay at the clinic today. Have you heard any news?

Topsy, is DS feeling better now or is he going to have another day off? We've had a bug going round in our class and, over the week, 9 of the children caught it. I must have done well with the hand washing as managed to avoid it.

Amber, how did your meeting go with the oncologist/radiologist? Nice of your doctor to be so supportive and give you a prescription without a fuss.

Hi everyone.

Its great to see some humour and happy moments amongst you all.

Do any of you do the Councelling sessions? Local centre has invited us to meet other cancer victims so that we can all talk and discuss our issues.

Are they worth going to? We are private people and dont want to talk to group sessions but Cancer woman is pushing us to attend - because it will do us good blah blah blah.

What would you do? If you partner refuses point blank to go, would you go on your own?