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Original poster

DD upset when she Google searches her name - what can we do?

262 replies

IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:02

When my DD was much younger (like 2), she was diagnosed with autism. DH and I, with the very best of intentions, got involved with a local autism charity and did various fundraising events, some of which were reported in the local press/TV. We were seeking to destigmitize autism (how naive) and readily agreed to speak about DD being diagnosed with the disability. We were, sincerely, trying to help other parents come to terms with an autism diagnosis!

Fast forward 15 years and, if DD has autism, no one would know. She was quite possibly misdiagnosed as her diagnosis was when she was under 3 years old. She is now in Y13 and heading for at a top RG to do STEM.

When she Googles her name, autism comes up. She is very upset about this and I totally understand why. She rightly observes that future BFs, employers etc will have preconceptions about her and, as I say, she was probably misdiagnosed.

DH and I feel awful that we have put her in this position. Is there anything we can do to remove old news articles from the internet/social media?

OP posts:
backinthebox · 22/02/2023 07:05

This is chickens coming home to roost, I’m afraid. Never, ever publish something on behalf of your children that they would not publish for themselves. Once it’s on the internet, it is out of your control.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 22/02/2023 07:05

Don’t have much time now, but suggest you Google “right to be forgotten”.it was EU law so not sure if still applicable (fuck brexit) but worth a look

xJoy · 22/02/2023 07:06

Change her name to include yr surname?

WeCome1 · 22/02/2023 07:08

How many pages does she appear on? Is it feasible to contact each website and ask them to remove the relevant article/mention of her?

Elsanore · 22/02/2023 07:08

There are definitely things you can do about this. It was discussed recently in a GDPR data training session I was in. Look into right to be forgotten and data privacy laws.

Also- couldn't the paper do something with its archives.. I think they are legally bound like PP said.

WonkyFeelings · 22/02/2023 07:10

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_to_be_forgotten

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 07:11

Is it common to be mis-diagnosed?

I get why she googled herself but others won't so I doubt they will see if that's what she's bothered about.

I thought it would be much worse.

C4ou56 · 22/02/2023 07:11

I’d initially contact the people who published the data and explain you remove your permission for this data to be shared and want it taking down. Google also have advice blog.google/products/search/new-options-for-removing-your-personally-identifiable-information-from-search/

Your child is very sensible. Having recently carried out research in this area the greatest barrier to autistic individuals and their career is their stigmatised identity. The ones I know who were successful in their career did not reveal to their employer or college yes that they were autistic

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:12

It’s not just one paper - story picked up by many others and also tweeted out. Also local radio and TV. Not helped by fact that DH was a prominent person at the time due to business success in the area.

OP posts:
Theimpossiblegirl · 22/02/2023 07:13

People will Google her, potential employers, people she meets, potential partners.
I would contact each website and ask for the content to be removed.
Send them links and screenshots. It will be worth the time spent.

C4ou56 · 22/02/2023 07:15

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 07:11

Is it common to be mis-diagnosed?

I get why she googled herself but others won't so I doubt they will see if that's what she's bothered about.

I thought it would be much worse.

There’s a huge difference between an autistic person who disabled by their differences to an autistic person whose needs simply make them a minority. Whether a person is disabled by their differences is fluid and due to environmental factors it more common to be disabled ans autistic as a child, rather than an autistic adult. For example, my daughter struggles with the sensory aspect of nursery and can’t study full time, whereas she’d be able to WFH as an adult and have greater control of her sensory needs enabling her to work full time.

Phineyj · 22/02/2023 07:16

The most practical thing for her to do would be to change her name slightly (it must be an unusual first name/surname combo to.be so readily found?) although you can certainly contact websites, Google etc.

I think it would be worth seeing a family counsellor together. You did what you did with the best of intentions and it can't be undone. For all you know, she may still be autistic (you don't grow out of it) and fantastic at masking/found her tribe/in denial. I am a bit concerned by the "no-one can tell" part.

Ring the NAS helpline too. No doubt there are others in similar situations.

It's worth having further conversations with an open mind.

LetMeSleepPleasex2 · 22/02/2023 07:18

www.searchenginejournal.com/google-and-the-right-to-be-forgotten/438501/

There’s a good explanation here if the process to get the pages delisted.

Dontfeedtheseagulls · 22/02/2023 07:21

FFS some ridiculous ideas on here.

@LetMeSleepPleasex2 is correct...there's a fairly straightforward process for this.

ProbablyRomanticised · 22/02/2023 07:23

Having recently carried out research in this area the greatest barrier to autistic individuals and their career is their stigmatised identity. The ones I know who were successful in their career did not reveal to their employer or college yes that they were autistic

Of course, you took into account the fact that the greatest barrier to autistic individuals overall in "their career" is aspects of their autism and the NT expectations and environment clashing and causing inability to pass interview/ get the job, or MH difficulties or burnout once working? And that those who autism was imperceptible enough that they could even consider getting away with not revealing that they are autistic are also going to be those with the lowest support needs?

One look at my DS, if he got to a job interview, would tell you he is autistic. One look. Plus he would be unable to look at the interviewer or speak in the interview, which they might notice....

Resister · 22/02/2023 07:23

Contact all the websites and newspapers, it's laborious but worth it. Also look up digital reputation management, they'll help you get the websites that won't Connolly onto the 2nd or 3rd page of Google and that will make a difference. Its worth it to make retribution for her

Resister · 22/02/2023 07:24

Sorry i mean make up for it. Not retribution. You can really help with this and all it takes is effort.

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:26

Just had a PM recommending a company called Internet Erasure. Trust pilot reviews look great. Thank you.

OP posts:
MinistryMelody · 22/02/2023 07:29

Is she regonisable as a 2 year old in these pictures online? Unless she has a very obvious hair colour or facial birth mark, how would anyone be sure it was her? And unless they had met you how else would they know? Location I guess, do you live in a small village or a large city? How deniable is it for her?

GiltEdges · 22/02/2023 07:30

The difficulty you're going to have is that you consented to the publishing of the article at the time, which is now in the public domain and has been for many years.

The right to be forgotten isn't an absolute right, which means you can't make an organisation delete your data at any time just because you feel like it, if they can argue that there's a legitimate basis for not doing so.

If you do wish to pursue it, then your daughter should approach the publishing organisation directly and her best argument hinges on the fact that she now believes the diagnosis to be inaccurate, with the existence of the article negatively impacting her right to privacy, as well as explaining any other impacts e.g. on her mental well-being as a result.

If you want to make the request on behalf of your daughter, she'll need to provide you with her consent to do so as she's now over the age of 13, so it'll be easier for her to do this herself.

The publishing organisation involved is also entitled to request proof that she is infact the subject of the article before they agree to consider her request.

MarieRoseMarie · 22/02/2023 07:32

Ignore all the posts here. They don’t know what they are talking about.

Online reputation management companies fix this very easily. Reasonable prices too.

Google “online reputation management” and find a company you like. Pay up. Fix it. Move on.

MarieRoseMarie · 22/02/2023 07:33

IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:26

Just had a PM recommending a company called Internet Erasure. Trust pilot reviews look great. Thank you.

Cross posted - yep! Just do this!

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:33

Her autism is mentioned in numerous business profiles of her dad (he was prominent in the area at the time). I fear newspapers etc will not delete the whole articles as most of them about him, not her.

OP posts:
Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:35

Thanks @MarieRoseMarie - will get onto them. Will happily pay to sort this out

OP posts:
LizziesTwin · 22/02/2023 07:36

Friends of mine wiped their daughter’s appearance in the press, she had done exceptionally well at something despite a learning disability and the school was very proud of her progress. You can’t find her now by googling. Definitely possible to do.