Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Geeky stuff

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

DD upset when she Google searches her name - what can we do?

262 replies

IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:02

When my DD was much younger (like 2), she was diagnosed with autism. DH and I, with the very best of intentions, got involved with a local autism charity and did various fundraising events, some of which were reported in the local press/TV. We were seeking to destigmitize autism (how naive) and readily agreed to speak about DD being diagnosed with the disability. We were, sincerely, trying to help other parents come to terms with an autism diagnosis!

Fast forward 15 years and, if DD has autism, no one would know. She was quite possibly misdiagnosed as her diagnosis was when she was under 3 years old. She is now in Y13 and heading for at a top RG to do STEM.

When she Googles her name, autism comes up. She is very upset about this and I totally understand why. She rightly observes that future BFs, employers etc will have preconceptions about her and, as I say, she was probably misdiagnosed.

DH and I feel awful that we have put her in this position. Is there anything we can do to remove old news articles from the internet/social media?

OP posts:
WeepingSomnambulist · 22/02/2023 08:09

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 07:11

Is it common to be mis-diagnosed?

I get why she googled herself but others won't so I doubt they will see if that's what she's bothered about.

I thought it would be much worse.

Others wont?
Where have you been living the last 10 years?

The first thing employers will do is google applicants, check social media etc. They will google her and quite a lot will avoid interviewing her due to autism and they will have preconceived ideas about the difficulties she will bring to the workplace.

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 08:10

Thanks for that @Morph22010. You play armchair detective if you like. Fascinated (not) to see what you think my motives are here. Will ignore your posts from here on in

OP posts:
Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 08:11

And this is precisely what she fears @WeepingSomnambulist

OP posts:
TrinnySmith · 22/02/2023 08:11

Can she change the spelling in her name - give herself a nickname first name so no one searches her real name.

RemoteControlDoobry · 22/02/2023 08:12

Obviously try to get the stuff removed (or name change - which sounds far less work) but to try to reassure you, some employers actively look for autistic people. Like GCHQ for example.

LookingOldTheseDays · 22/02/2023 08:12

louise5754 · 22/02/2023 07:11

Is it common to be mis-diagnosed?

I get why she googled herself but others won't so I doubt they will see if that's what she's bothered about.

I thought it would be much worse.

This is really naive. Potential rmployers will Google her, potential partners will Google her.

Everyonesinvited · 22/02/2023 08:13

You need the right to be forgotten option.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 22/02/2023 08:14

Or @WeepingSomnambulist they're quietly impressed that she's managed a top STEM degree despite the barriers autism presents in mainstream schooling and realise she'll be an asset to their organisation.

If they've signed up to the disability confident scheme she's guaranteed an interview too.

STEM companies, particularly tech, are falling over themselves to actively recruit people with autism these days.

KindlyKanga · 22/02/2023 08:14

IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 07:33

Her autism is mentioned in numerous business profiles of her dad (he was prominent in the area at the time). I fear newspapers etc will not delete the whole articles as most of them about him, not her.

He needs to ask them to.

TooMuchFor · 22/02/2023 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BigMadAdrian · 22/02/2023 08:16

Your dd should be assessed again if you think the diagnosis is wrong - what is happening now will not help her. She has either been misdiagnosed (unlikely, in my experience) and a new assessment will confirm this, or she is masking extremely well. If she is masking it will all come tumbling down at some point - it is exhausting and enormously detrimental to mental health - ASD specific therapy has helped my dd understand herself, be proud of herself and has taught her how to advocate for herself too.

Herroyal · 22/02/2023 08:17

Given how young she was, are people - employers etc. really going to google her name and make the link? Does she have a really unusual name?

I do, and if my name is googled it brings up some other people but not many, one of whom is a violent criminal but I don't think anyone who didn't know me would think oh, that must be the same Herroyal!

That being said - you can hire companies to clean up your online reputation - fairly common in my industry. A mix of getting rid of bad stuff, and seeding some articles or similar about good stuff.

For example if your DD did a charity event and start a Justgiving page or similar and allowed the page to be public, THAT would be the thing that comes up in searches as recent.

I understand why she's embarrassed, but it's a case of 'everyone's looking at me' sometimes when actually no-one is paying much attention. Employers and similar are more likely to be interested in her LinkedIn page, her recent Social Media - making sure there's nothing too embarrassing out there on her

mumda · 22/02/2023 08:20

Getting your name removed from a website/webpage that appears from a Google search result means you need to conduct a DMCA Takedown. To get started, go to: Takedown Form and complete the form. If you have found your stolen content published on another site without your permission, DMCA.com can help.

Amarchhare · 22/02/2023 08:20

What’s really depressing is that someone can’t post about a valid concern without being troll hunted.

I have friends who adopted and were very open about having adopted and similarly their story was shared in the local news and so on. Their daughter was not quite as happy about this information being public.

Its similar. No one is saying there is anything wrong with autism or adoption, but it’s up to the individual who it is shared with.

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 08:20

@Herroyal good advice about seeding some stuff. Will do that. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 08:21

Exactly @Amarchhare. Thank you.

OP posts:
LaviniasBigBloomers · 22/02/2023 08:21

I understand why she's embarrassed, but it's a case of 'everyone's looking at me' sometimes when actually no-one is paying much attention.

Super common in autistic teens who have either felt 'othered' by active support in school or by the realisation that their brain works differently to most other people, that. As is a hyper-focus on what a hypothetical person might do in a hypothetical situation. As is black and white thinking/rigidity and need for control.

OriginalUsername2 · 22/02/2023 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

So much reaching here 🙄

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 08:21

Amarchhare · 22/02/2023 08:20

What’s really depressing is that someone can’t post about a valid concern without being troll hunted.

I have friends who adopted and were very open about having adopted and similarly their story was shared in the local news and so on. Their daughter was not quite as happy about this information being public.

Its similar. No one is saying there is anything wrong with autism or adoption, but it’s up to the individual who it is shared with.

This.

OP posts:
user1501270679 · 22/02/2023 08:23

It is entirely legitimate to ask for these images to be removed, either directly to website owners or through more official channels.

I used to work for a children's disability charity and we put a short time use period on images we had permission to use of service users for exactly this reason. We understood a teenager would not be thrilled about the use of their image when they were little and cute, when they themselves had probably become anything but!

KindlyKanga · 22/02/2023 08:23

Amarchhare · 22/02/2023 08:20

What’s really depressing is that someone can’t post about a valid concern without being troll hunted.

I have friends who adopted and were very open about having adopted and similarly their story was shared in the local news and so on. Their daughter was not quite as happy about this information being public.

Its similar. No one is saying there is anything wrong with autism or adoption, but it’s up to the individual who it is shared with.

Yes this.

It should have been her choice to share in the first place.

Saschka · 22/02/2023 08:23

topcat2014 · 22/02/2023 07:46

I've never searched for a prospective new employee on Google.

It's not a given.

Lots do. Though whether they would associate a story about a two year old with the adult woman they are interviewing is another matter…

SweetSakura · 22/02/2023 08:25

Amarchhare · 22/02/2023 08:20

What’s really depressing is that someone can’t post about a valid concern without being troll hunted.

I have friends who adopted and were very open about having adopted and similarly their story was shared in the local news and so on. Their daughter was not quite as happy about this information being public.

Its similar. No one is saying there is anything wrong with autism or adoption, but it’s up to the individual who it is shared with.

Exactly. it's not the subject matter that's the issue, it's the fact it's been shared publicly. I can't believe how many people are determinedly missing the point

This is about how this girl feels about her autism being made public, not how her parents feel about it or any of us.

Original poster
IceskaterTwirl · 22/02/2023 08:28

@kindlykanga with hindsight, I agree wholeheartedly.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread