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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Original poster

Half way through Year 13 and the last school year.

999 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/02/2018 20:14

eep.

OP posts:
Justeatthepotato · 17/02/2018 17:53

Smile thank you for the welcome chocolate and kitten

flatmouse · 17/02/2018 18:20

@chocolateworshipper nope, not in spam, and oddly you just tagging me worked and email in inbox 😁

chocolateworshipper · 17/02/2018 18:23

kitten - I don't feel I'm ready for that level of responsibility. Maybe I could be your deputy though Wink

@flatmouse weird Hmm

Original poster
OhYouBadBadKitten · 17/02/2018 18:34

Oh definitely! Cos then you can do all the work and I'll bask in the glory :D

OP posts:
chocolateworshipper · 17/02/2018 18:59
Shock
raspberryrippleicecream · 17/02/2018 19:08

Glad to know DD isn't alone out there in her music choices!

For contrast she says Hamilton was outstanding and far beyond expectations (which were pretty high)!

HesMyLobster · 17/02/2018 20:45

Yay! Found you all, thankyou for the tag @chocolateworshipper and thankyou @OhYouBadBadKitten for yet another shiny new thread!

We saw Hamilton in New York @raspberryrippleicecream - it was DD's Christmas present and I've never seen her so excited!
It definitely didn't disappoint, we were all blown away by it, even DH who usually hates musicals.

DD and friends are now thinking of going to Leeds just for a day as they have decided there's only one day with a good line up.
They are definitely going to Isle of Wight festival and very excited but I can't remember who it is that's playing! Blush

DD took books with us and did do some work on the flight, but that's been it over half term.
I do think she needed a proper break though, and is now more motivated to work hard for the next few weeks.

Especially as she now has all 5 offers and can start thinking about pushing that ucas button! She's definite on her firm, just needs to decide on insurance.
It's likely to be Newcastle. She has her applicant Day there on Wednesday and as long as she doesn't hate it (never went to open day) that's the one she'll choose, as her other offers (Durham, St Andrews, Bristol) are all the same grades as her firm.

raspberryrippleicecream · 17/02/2018 20:55

Judging by everyone else's views I'd tell her to wrap up warm!

I'll be interested to know what she thinks - DD would have have definitely applied if it was a bit further away.

starfleet · 17/02/2018 21:44

It was bitter in Newcastle when we were there last Wednesday. Didn't put DS off at all. He said he'd probably need a new winter coat though (obvs if he gets the grades).

He has an offer from Manchester - it is on our doorstep (literally - the bus into town stops virtually outside our front door). He said if we didn't live here it would have been his first choice.

UrsulaPandress · 17/02/2018 21:48

DD is the same. She lived Manchester but doesn't want to live at home.

MsAwesomeDragon · 17/02/2018 21:55

Newcastle is incredibly child in winter, but it didn't stop me wearing tiny skirts and no cost when going out as a teenager.
I was over there on Thursday and Friday and the university has had a bit of a face lift since I was there. I didn't like it, but that's because it didn't but the right nostalgia buttons, I'm sure it's lovely.

TheDrsDocMartens · 18/02/2018 07:56

Dd1 has just done the accommodation application, it felt more complicated than choosing a uni!
Student finance application next. It’ll be calculated on a year I was a student which is a bit weird.

derekthe1adyhamster · 18/02/2018 09:20

We are still waiting for DS's preferred course to either accept or reject him. His predicted grades are 1 off the expected grades. They have until May to make up their mind!
Study leave begins on May 15 - not long and his school days are over. I have to admit, I'm struggling occasionally to believe it

MrSlant · 18/02/2018 11:13

derek that's ages, May!

raspberry you made me have a late bedtime last night, I ended up youtubing Hamilton songs until after midnight!

TheSecondOfHerName · 18/02/2018 11:22

DS1 will put the course he really likes as his firm choice (unlikely to get the grades but there's a small chance they'll take him anyway).

He hasn't yet decided on his insurance choice.

TheSecondOfHerName · 18/02/2018 11:24

On any given paper he could get anything from an A to an E (as he did last summer in two AS papers in the same subject) so it's really difficult to guess what grades he's going to get. I suspect a combination of Bs and Cs, but this could go up or down.

chocolateworshipper · 18/02/2018 11:51

DD's education will finish one course at a time.

Subject 1 - they are half way through the last unit out of 3 for the year.
Subject 2 - they are about to start the last unit out of 3 for the year.
Subject 3 - they are half way through the second unit out of 3 for the year.

In many ways I think it's going be quite nice finishing one subject at a time, rather than going from full on to nothing. She will hopefully get more shifts at work as each course finishes.

catslife · 18/02/2018 14:49

Thanks for the link chocolate.
Signing into new thread after a few days away in France over half term.
There were some signs of spring over there so hope that we soon see the end of the cold weather over here too!
Mocks for dd are the last week in Feb.

derekthe1adyhamster · 18/02/2018 15:10

Arrrgh! I did a really stupid thing. As part of helping DS's anxiety and self harm, he is writing daily letters to his girlfriend as a secret diary, to help him say things he doesn't feel able to speak. This diary is in no way hidden at all.
You guessed it, I had a peep this morning. I just hope that the diary is really exaggerated.
I thought he had been in a really positive way over half term. He's been singing and laughing and joking around. It appears though that his girlfriend and him have got into a vicious circle, if one is unhappy then that causes the other to go into decline. I know that everything is amplified in the teenage brain but OMG!
And yes, my constant nagging to work and checking he is OK is making him want to run away (although he does admit it's only because I care - and says 'sorry mum if you're reading this')
I just don't know what to do now

chocolateworshipper · 18/02/2018 15:25

derek I can completely understand why you're worried. However, maybe the reason why he's been able to sing, laugh and joke is because he's getting rid of all of his negative thoughts in the diary rather than keeping them inside.

Would it help if you sat down with him and agreed how you can check he's ok without making him want to run away? How about if you agreed that if promises to let you know if he's not ok, you'll only ask him how he is every other day or once a week - whatever is going to work for both of you?

Regarding nagging to work - that's another area you could compromise on maybe. He creates his own timetable for revision, and if he promises to stick to it, you don't nag? Or ask him for his own ideas on how he can show you he's capable of revising without nagging.

Best of luck

HesMyLobster · 18/02/2018 15:28

Oh Derek, I really feel for you. You only looked because you're obviously very concerned. I know I'd have struggled not to peek. At least he knows how much you care.
I probably wouldn't let him know that you'd read it though - he might see it as an invasion of his privacy.
(Although the note to you in there makes me wonder if he wanted you to read it)
Teenagers are complicated creatures at the best of times and it looks like yours has got himself into a complicated relationship which pretty much triples the complicatedness - is that a word?
I think all you can do is keep doing what you're doing - let him know how much you care and that you're there for him, without nagging or meddling . . Confused
I know it's easier said than done Flowers

HesMyLobster · 18/02/2018 15:30

Chocolate's advice is spot on! Way more constructive than my ramblings!

derekthe1adyhamster · 18/02/2018 15:43

Thanks - tbh I hadn't realised I was nagging! I hope that the negative thoughts are all written down - I guess that's what it's for.

I've had an email from his House mistress, just checking how he's been over the holidays. It's so important to get him back into lessons, otherwise that just ends up in a cycle too. I have told him that he needs to go to all his lessons this half term (only 3 weeks as 2 are taken up with mocks) otherwise he will not be going camping with his girlfriend over the easter holidays. That could backfire but I'll let him go anyway, but he needs an incentive.

I just can't get through to him, sitting down and chatting is nagging, as are little comments occasionally. And I'm back to work tomorrow, caring for kids, and I know I won't be able to concentrate.

Nettleskeins · 18/02/2018 16:56

derek thinking back to my own teenage days, I think you are getting through to him in the way that really matters, he knows you care and he knows that if he feels really bad you are on his side and won't recriminate. He probably knows he needs to work, and he knows that you worry about that, so anything you say is really excess to requirements.
I've just been reading the diary of Anne Frank, it is a reminder to me how teenagers really do have their own take on things and their own way of expressing their thoughts. I mean that in a positive way, it is a very uplifting read.

meanwhile I feel like I am reaching a sort of plateau with ds. We've struggled through all these exams, he doesn't appear to be working very hard and I struggle with that and worry that uni is not for him. then comes the drama of the applications process, the excitement of visiting all these unis of choosing the "best" one. Feel suddenly like we have both been trapped in some sort of tunnel vision - reading all the course modules and wondering whether ds really wants to study all this difficult stuff. So I went to his room and reminded him that really this year could be a Gap year, no formal learning required, time to breathe and find out what it is like to be independent without the pressure of academic deadlines. I hope he has taken it on board and has that at the back of his mind if he starts to feel under pressure at any point.

Derek I know your ds wants to take a Gap Year, that must be such a relief.

FantasyAndHope · 18/02/2018 17:29

derek
Oh derek I do hope things look up for you soon, maybe writing down things does help? Is he seeing a counsellor or anything?

Dd is on her way back. Not happy to go back but she said it’s the final 5 weeks and then I never have to see the “nasty bitches again” so on a plus note she does see a positive
A long weekend of nasty texts messages and she switched her phone off