Can anybody tell me what a DO is meant to do?

[tinytotmummy]

Having a major situation here with DH, which has just ended up with him being sacked from his job.

are you ok?

Surely if he is serving he can't just be sacked like that?? Hope you are ok.

LL will prob be more help here as I am an RAF wife/ex serving myself. My understanding of DO is that it is a Naval term for Divisional Officer (commissioned officer I think), as mentioned above. I believe they are responsible for the discipline/morale etc for a section.

lapin, think so. I am right in thinking that they should be concerned with welfare issues?

No, not ok at all. It's horrible. Feel so useless.

FIL was rushed to hospital with chest pains thrusday before last for the second time in two weeks. First time his boss was ok, let dh go and see him. FIL came out of hospital but no diagnosis. Pains got really bad week later and he was taken in again. I told dh, he told his boss, but he just said to let him know when he knew more. His boss never returned to work, went straight of to a meeting so a senior instructor told dh to go and that he would arrange cover for his classes for that day, dh had arranged cover already for the following day. A few hours later dh gets a phonecall from his colleague telling him that his boss wants him in to take the class on Friday morning. Dh was on his way to see his dad at the time (2 hour journey from us) and had no idea what his condition was. Anyway, dh spoke to the DCMO and she stood him down until today so he had some time with his dad. FIL is out of hospital and fine now. Dh has gone back to work today to his boss shouting at him, and basically telling him that he has been sacked from his job as instructor and has to go and work a menial job. He has specified that he cannot talk to him, or socialise with him, he is not allowed in the rest room other than to go to his locker.
Dh is devastated.

This sounds out of order. Is there any other history between them?

What about the DCMO, surely this was her call, and she should intercede on his behalf, even if that means getting a bit of a roasting if he was unhappy with the decision?

OH MY GOODNESS! WTF!
That seems crazy. There must be a serious case of crossed wires here surely????

Is a DCMO the same as an SMO in the RAF (ie a Medical Officer)? If so then your DH's boss is very out of order. The DCMO should be involved, if he was stood down/signed off by a Medical Officer there is very little anyone can do about it.

They kind of have history. Well, he doesn't like DH. Dh has been there since March and was loving his job and getting really good results until this twat(sorry) took over in October. First day dh went back to work after paternity, he sat in on his class, and when dh did something that he didn't like (wasn't wrong, just not done his way) he picked him up on it in front of the whole class(lots of shouting) and told him if he didn't buck his ideas up then he didn't want him.
Also threatened DH with the sack as he is medicaly downgraded and can't do the fitness test. Told dh "your no good to me then" And also wanted proof.
I have PND and things have been hell at home. He has been less than sympathetic. Obviously Dh has been really worried about things at home and this may have affected his work slightly, but his classes are still passing and he has no worse success rate than any of the other instructors. rather than being sympathetic, he has just piled the pressure on even more and has taken to sitting in on all of dh's classes. Understandably this makes him really nervous, so he makes mistakes. To which his Do delights on pulling im up on.

Your DH sounds like he has a case for harassment/bullying here. Can he not go and talk to someone in the equivilent of psf/personnel?

Oh goodness. Sounds like good old fashioned bullying doesn't it .

If he doesn't want to go to the DCMO or a more senior officer, how about the Padre as a non-biased person to mediate? They are usually pretty highly trained in negotiation and counselling, and will hopefully be able to appreciate the personal difficulties your DH has been having.

Oh yes I agree. Padre is the route to go!!!

Mcdreamy, yep the same.
I think he is getting round it by saying it is performance related, because of the pressure he is under from other sources. But nothing was said prior to dh having this week off? And as said before, there is nothing to suggest that his performance is failing.

Dh has been to the padre this morning, who in turn has been to the DCMO. She has said nothing she can do, just get on with it. NPFS are already involved through me, but also have been told about this DO. They agree is bullying, but can't do anything. Dh wants to make a formal complaint against him, but is afraid of the consequences. I suppose I'm trying to see if he has failed him job as his DO rather than go down the route of making DH right. This guy has connections and everyone is afraid of him. The padre spoke to the DO's boss, but from the sounds of it the DO had got there first and noone is backing DH.

Spoke to my DH about this as in RN.

He said it sounds like there is more to this and or is a history???

Any action against your DH needs to go through a proper disciplinary procedure. It is possibly that DO has put him in a different job whilst starting disciplinary but cannot see how if DCMO stood him down as no grounds.

It may not be that your DH has been demoted, it may be he has been given a crap job to 'teach him a lesson' not that he deserves it.

It sounds personal rather than professional. Hope you get it sorted.

It sounds hideous!

I am sure he is doing this already, but your DH has got to keep a log of everything that is happening (i.ecomments/emails/phone calls with dates/times and what was said.) If he hasn't done it already, he should request a meeting with the officer with someone else present (Padre?)and ask formally why he has been 'moved jobs'. If this is refused him, then he has much stronger case for making a formal complaint. He needs to get the facts laid out before him, to see what case (if any) there is against him. It sounds like the Padre hasn't been much help so far, but he could at least be present during the meeting?

Oh, and this new job he has made DH do, he has to report to him every evening before he goes home, even though he is not officially in charge of that section.
God, I'm so angry. Dh only has 5m left to serve and this is how he has to spend it. He wants to do MPGS after, but this could really destroy his chances of getting in.

I can understand your concerns about making a formal complaint. I think it's a bad idea unless your DH is squeaky clean.

The DO sounds like a right git and your DH might be biting off more than he can chew.

My advise would be to keep his head down for a couple of weeks and wait for things to calm down before doing anything. Circumstances may change in that time - DO might get hit by a bus or something!

LOL Catz!! Here's hoping! To answer your previous post, there isn't any history to them apart from what I've said. Dh has worked for him for barely 5 months.

I think you're right about the crap job as a punishment. Though what he has done to deserve it apart from have a family is beyond me.

lapin, don't know about seeing his records. I suggested that surely there must be computer records of what classes he has taken and the pass rate,etc? So that he would have some hard evidence.

He shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. Everyone knows what he's like, but they are too scared to do anything. He very publicly humiliated another instructor this week.

Thankyou all so much for listening to my complete waffle. And I am reading every post, even if I'm not replying directly.