Films that make you angry they're so crap

[Muddays]

I'm sorry if this thread has been done lots? But anyway, whilst there are films that are bad and funny for it, there are films that are so bad they make you want to scream. I watched Aquaman the other day and it was jaw grindingly awful. I can't think of a worse recent movie right now but am interested to hear of any that can challenge that monumental pile of guano.

In "When Harry met Sally", I think Ryan's character says something about being nearly 40, and Crystal replies, "You're 32". The film starts with them both at uni, and is set over a decade or so, so she's playing a youthful character throughout.

I forgot about The Greatest Showman. Another one I was told I’d love.

Awful.

I have disliked every film I have seen at the cinema or streamed lately, including

Deadly Night
Black Adam
Black Panther (now I realise this will be an unpopular choice as friends told me it was "amazing")
Avatar
Knives Out
And that pretentious Netflix film White Noise.

I stuck 'The Godfather' on instead, because it feels like the art of film making is dead and I have to go back in time to see a decent film.

Oh yeh, after holding off on this for years (gut instinct that I'd dislike it) I finally caved over Christmas.
Awful.

Same here. The only film I've walked out of. Loathsome and the filming made me feel nauseous.

Magnolia is also awful. Redeemed only by the soundtrack.

The Shape of Water
i should have known it would be awful, as I invariably hate anything that wins lots of Oscar’s
also Bridesmaids I watched it with my daughter as she told me it was really funny but I hated it, just stupid, vulgar humour and not for me
meteor from 1979 was on the other day and it had a star studded cast but omg it was so awful it was amusing!

Watership Down traumatised me for life when my aunt took me to see in in 1978.

Agree with the 'multi-Oscar winning' films usually being a total pile of mince.

I've just endured the utter bollocks that was Glass Onion.

The key to the reviews seems to be to make a movie so incredibly shite and formulaic but refer to a pandemic and social media and men will fall over themselves to say it's a clever modern commentary on well known tropes. No, Russell, it's a shite movie that you've been told isn't shite because the director is actually a really clever man and so are you if you notice a few Beatles' references and Kanye West in a portrait by the fucking director and PR team tasked with flogging this fucking lemon.

My all time rage inducing movie has to be fucking Prometheus, though. She looked more alien and Android like than the aliens and the synth due to the bucket of face filler and botox.

Usual ignoring of the laws of biological security and the common sense not to put your face right up against something that might explode or try and eat you.

When something 300 foot high is falling towards you, don't run ten foot to your left like somebody with a brain, try to run 301 foot forwards.

And most of all, give yourself a caesarian section by laser with absolutely zero anaesthetic and then immediately be able to get up and run 301 foot. Because the writer had clearly never met a woman before, let alone one that had given birth by section.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.
I like Marvel and I love Benedict Cumberbatch as an actor, but this was utter codswallop!

I'm also furious with what they did to Meg, Beth, Amy and LAURIE. Terribly miscast, the Winona Ryder version is untouchable.

Cameron! 🥺

The Craft was two hours of my life I'll never get back - the only film that I've felt absolutely furious about sitting through. Tbh even really shit films don't normally give me such a visceral reaction - I don't know what was going on that day!

I guess I've vetoed a few though, in the last few years, after 15 mins, so have probably missed out on some real rubbish - more likely to do that nowadays, as I hurtle towards middle age and realise my time is more precious!

Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

How to butcher a beautiful text with poor casting and "poetic licence". I walked out of the cinema

Watch the impeccable original ITV Poirot version with David Suchet (of course) and Emily Blunt as Linnet. Perfection!

I always say this, but... The Tree of Life. Watched it in an arty cinema in Bath with my mam. It was so bad we were desperate to leave but every time we thought about getting up to go, someone else walked out. We ended up being the last ones standing (sitting). Absolute navel-gazing bollocks.

@NotAnotherBathBomb Is Cameron the one who was perving after Ferris's girlfriend?

I'm old enough to remember the worst film of all time ever, from 1988, Michael Jackson's Moonwalker.

I never bothered watching it, but I thought Sex Lives Of The Potato Men had been unequivocally bestowed with that honour?! I remember reading that they'd selectively quoted only part of a review about it - something like "If you think that this is the best film ever made, then you really do need urgent psychiatric assistance" - and they only quoted the part in bold on all the promo posters

Wild Wild West absolutely stank; and I did actually fall asleep in the cinema watching the Bore Witch Project.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll and I thought it was “Lesbian Vampire Killers”.

Any Batman except the first one (Michael Keaton). I just don't understand why they keep making them!! I was actually angry after I had to sit through the latest one. Effing pointless! Oh wait Lego Batman is always worth a re-watch!

As someone who studied Classics, I absolutely love Gladiator and think it's brilliant. Film making isn't about accuracy, it's about entertainment! Sticking to source material is a way to make a snoozefest.

and I thought it was “Lesbian Vampire Killers”.

Ah, yes - I believe that one was also singled out for special 'recognition'

Constantine with Keanu Reeves, turned it off a half hour in. Supernatural shite even I couldn't get on board with.

Agree with the poster who said The Lion King - the songs are shit and it's just meh overall. I'd rather watch Hamlet.

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas is so unbelievably offensive. I would not hesitate to recommend reading either Maus by Art Spiegelman or Night by Ellie Wiesel over watching or reading that utter twoddle.

I LOVE the Top Gun films and will not have any slander against them...but I can't watch Tom Cruise in anything else; the man creeps me out. I can tolerate him as Maverick though as you get to see all the sweet jets in action!

*Elie Wiesel that should be, he was a bloke!

I'd forgotten Lesbian Vampire Killers. An ex took me to see it. He thought it was hilarious. We didn't last much longer.

I give you Alien autopsy that Ant and Dec were in. I had a new baby and my ‘night out’ was wasted on this film (although had a bit of a snooze)