Oh my strangest date ever...
It was 1985 and I was working in London as a nanny, used to do the shopping and stuff and would use the local shops, of which one was a butcher's. There were two lads in there, one I really fancied and one I didn't. Which one asked me out d'you reckon? Go on, guess!
Of course, it was the one I didn't fancy. And actually what he said was "will you marry me?" to which I replied "Um, well, I don't really know you well enough" and he snapped back "well, will you go for a drink then?" and before I could stop the words coming out I'd said "Ok".
I met him from work, and we then had to get the tube to his flat so he could get changed. Quite what on earth I was doing going off into unknown bits of London with TOTAL strangers is utterly beyond me. We got to his flat, somewhere, he put a video on (relax, it wasn't porn) and went to get changed. He kept popping his head round the door to sing along and recite the dialogue. It was The Rocky Horror Picture Show. A fine film. Referenced in Fame. Starring the wonderful Tim Curry. And Meatloaf. You should see it if you haven't already.
Then he was ready and we went out. We went to meet his parents. First date, parents. I was wearing a raincoat and some black court shoes, they thought I was a nurse. We left there and went to a pub. Good, I thought, maybe the date will start now. It kinda did. Except his sister worked in the pub. It was a prefab building, with flock wallpaper. And his sister. I foolishly did not take the opportunity to get smashed.
At about 9pm an elderly gentleman started setting up some musical 'thing'. Keyboard, drum machine. This is pre-karaoke so quite unexpected. And on a Monday night. Did I mention it was a Monday night? Unusual day for a first date I feel. Not much nightlife on a Monday night, in a prefab pub, somewhere in a bit of East London. So the elderly gent set it all up and began 'singing'. I say singing, I have a generous nature. I don't think he was fully rehearsed, so it went a bit like this: "Oh Spanish eyes, do do do do do do do do Spanish Eyes". Some of the words were missing.
Me and my date laughed a lot. it was the high point so far.
Anyway, after a while we left and went off to Islington for Pizza. There used to be a Pizza hut in the middle-ish bit of Upper Street. That's where we went. And he was pretty leathered by this time, I wasn't.
And that's when things took a turn for the bizarre. Because obviously it had all been [i]entirely[/i]normal up to that point.
So, opposite this particular branch of Pizza hut was a grey flat-fronted building. He pointed at it and said "My friends will all be there, we can go and meet them afterwards if you like". I looked at the building. It was called 'Islington Friend' and in a flash from the ether I KNEW that it was a place to go for people who had questions about themselves and perhaps their sexuality or desires. I mumbled something about "maybe next time".
And that's when he told me that he was a transvestite.
Um, ok. I didn't know if that was going to be a problem, this was still only our first date.
Readers, I lived a LIFETIME in a few short hours!
He was very sweet, I went on a couple more dates with him, but then I had to finish with him because I absolutely didn't fancy him in trousers, so a frock was never going to do it for me.
Do you think Rocky Horror was a clue?
So there you go, my date with the transvestite butcher...