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The Bluestocking Pub, where we continue to read about gerbils nobly and bravely working undercover in the Fen.

1000 replies

AsWithGlad · 20/08/2026 15:44

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the best (perhaps only) online women's pub. Nothing in the food or drink can harm you, everything is served by a very enthusiastic crew of gerbils, who enjoy doing this, and any curious menfolk are welcome at the Staunch Ally down the road.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5564959-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-in-which-we-wait-excitedly-for-the-next-instalment-of-goseis-adventures

OP posts:
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104
inkymoose · 31/08/2026 14:26

Swashbuckled · 24/08/2026 20:04

Thanks for tagging me in the story @MyrtleLion

It took me ages to find the thread (found it in fem chat) and I thought the whole thread had been deleted… Obviously I couldn’t imagine why; goes without saying.

So, windows…
I’m sure all will be come clear.

It has been a lovely day here weather-wise. The sea like glass, the galleon gliding upon it with the majesty of a sober and sturdy skater.

Nice to be back.

Swashy!!!

Welcome back!

The Bluestocking Pub, where we continue to read about gerbils nobly and bravely working undercover in the Fen.
MarieDeGournay · 31/08/2026 14:36

A propos of nothing, really, except that I just got some stuff from IKEA delivered [small storage-y stuff, nothing spectacular] and two things occurred to me:

  1. Not a scrap of plastic, all the wrapping was paper/cardboard, isn't that progress? Amazon are the same. Fair dues to them.
  2. When you flatten out cardboard packaging, you see that it is industrial-strength origami! It starts out as a big sheet of cardboard, and then ingenious folds and cut-outs and slots and tabs turn it into a box or something, they don't even need to use sticky tape to seal it closed, they have those clever locking cut-outs..

I'm getting carried away here, I just think it's so clever!Smile

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 14:43

It is so clever!

MarieDeGournay · 31/08/2026 14:47

Inky, I've used this image in the past but I see that in your own post you do not have antlers, so I googled it
Female moose, or cows, do not typically grow antlers because they do not compete for mates and conserving energy for reproduction and raising calves is more advantageous.
Instead, cows have other distinguishing features, such as a lighter brown nose bridge, a triangular light-colored patch near the vulva, and generally smaller body size compared to bulls

We see the lighter brown nose size and the generally smaller body size, Inky, that'll do fine😧

The Bluestocking Pub, where we continue to read about gerbils nobly and bravely working undercover in the Fen.
inkymoose · 31/08/2026 15:00

MyrtleLion · 25/08/2026 17:07

30. Swashbuckled Returns

In which Glossy explains the queue...

@Swashbuckled came through the door of the Bluestocking still in sailing rig. There was salt on her boots, salt in her plait, and a white tide line of it across the strap of the camera slung at her hip. She did not stop at the bar. She crossed the room to the darkroom door, knocked, and when Glossy opened it, stood holding out the camera and two rolls of film without a word of greeting to anyone.

Glossy took the camera and the film, turned each roll over, and looked at Swashbuckled.

“Cumbrae,” said Swashbuckled.

Glossy carried the rolls to the shelf inside the darkroom door, where a line of numbered canisters already stood waiting. There were a lot of them. She wrote a number on each of the new arrivals and set them at the far end of the line.

“Those are Liverpool,” she said, indicating the rest of the shelf. “In order of arrival. No exceptions.” She said it the way she would have said the opening hours and closed the door.

Swashbuckled sat down at the big table and took off one boot.

Gasket brought the teapot, and the tea went round, and somewhere in the middle of it Swashbuckled said, “Found a mark on Cumbrae.”

“A MARK?” said Gantry, at full volume. “GANGPLANK’S MESSAGE SAID NOTHING ABOUT A MARK. She swam it here. Round rocks. We made her say it eight times. Two windows, both photographed. That was all of it.”

“Obviously,” said Swashbuckled, “I sent Gangplank ahead for a reason.” She picked up her tea. “There are two types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information.”

She stopped there.

The room waited for the second half which did not come. Swashbuckled drank her tea. Gangplank, at the end of the table, looked at Gantry, and Gantry looked at the room, and Gasket poured.

@AngleofRepose opened her notebook to the page ruled into columns and found the line that read Cumbrae. Two windows, with nothing after it. She sat with her pencil ready. “Report,” she said.

“Cathedral of the Isles,” said Swashbuckled. “Millport. Smallest cathedral in Britain. You could rig it as a foredeck. Two windows in the ante-room to the Lady Chapel, Gabriel and Michael, by Margaret Chilton. Good glass. We photographed both.”

“The Imperial Gazetteer of Scotland,” said Grisaille, from something written down, “states that the Isle of Cumbrae possesses no buildings of note.”

“Thank you, Grisaille,” said @Hedgehogforshort.

“Is Gabriel a gerbil?” asked Garnet.

The table considered this.

“Gabriel begins with a G!” said Garnet, in support of the question. The gerbils nodded.

“Gabriel is an archangel,” said Swashbuckled.

Garnet thought about it. “Could be both,” she said, and nobody corrected her either.

“The mark,” prompted Angle.

“In the leading,” said Swashbuckled. “Under Gabriel. Bottom left of the window, in the border came on the outside face. A circle. Three lines through it. Struck in, not scratched. I put the lens against the glass of the porch door first to check the light, then photographed the mark from a chair, which the verger fetched, and which I returned.”

“Struck, not scratched,” said Angle, writing. “Under Gabriel. Did you check under Michael?”

“Checked every centimetre of both. Michael’s leading is clean.”

“That’s the Margrave’s mark,” said Angle. “The circle and the three lines. Same as Glasgow, under Eve. Same as everywhere.” She wrote The Margrave’s Mark, under Gabriel, in the blank after Cumbrae. Two windows, and the line that had stood empty since Sunday was full.

“Was there anything under it?” asked Hedgehog. “Underneath? The way there was at Norwich.”

“I report what I saw,” said Swashbuckled. “I saw a circle and three lines. What’s under a thing is a matter for whoever examines the photographs. Once the film has been developed.”

Everyone looked at the darkroom door, which stayed shut, and behind which Glossy was working through film in order of arrival, Liverpool first, no exceptions.

The tea went round again. Swashbuckled took off the other boot and gave an account of the sail back, which took four sentences and included a squall off Portpatrick that anyone else would have made a chapter of.

@ChristmasStars heard the post van and stood up. She went out to collect the delivery and came back with a single fat envelope, brown paper, tied round with string, addressed in a looping hand, with a hard cylindrical weight in one corner that could only be a film canister.

“It’s from @FuzzyPuffling,” she said. “This must be her letter and the film from Truro.”

Glossy’s door opened before anyone knocked on it. She took the envelope, cut the string, slid the canister out into her paw, and wrote a number on it.

“End of the queue,” she said, giving the letter back to Christmas Stars and closed the door.

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/30-swashbuckled-returns

Edited

Triffic stuff BUT ... boots on the TABLE? Fundamental error, that, AI. Boots and all footwear must stay on the floor. Granny's Rules.

inkymoose · 31/08/2026 15:04

MarieDeGournay · 31/08/2026 14:47

Inky, I've used this image in the past but I see that in your own post you do not have antlers, so I googled it
Female moose, or cows, do not typically grow antlers because they do not compete for mates and conserving energy for reproduction and raising calves is more advantageous.
Instead, cows have other distinguishing features, such as a lighter brown nose bridge, a triangular light-colored patch near the vulva, and generally smaller body size compared to bulls

We see the lighter brown nose size and the generally smaller body size, Inky, that'll do fine😧

A triangular lighter-coloured patch near the vulva ... hmmm, I don't know if that would be apparent to the casual observer especially as they ran away as fast as they could?

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 16:22

inkymoose · 31/08/2026 15:00

Triffic stuff BUT ... boots on the TABLE? Fundamental error, that, AI. Boots and all footwear must stay on the floor. Granny's Rules.

I’d have thought that if there was an exception for anyone it would be Swashy.

inkymoose · 31/08/2026 17:18

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 16:22

I’d have thought that if there was an exception for anyone it would be Swashy.

Yes ... I was remembering the voice of Granny saying "No shoes on the table!" and of course, that wasn't in the Bluestocking, and had nothing to do with Swashy. It was a knee-jerk reaction. Sorry everyone .. I will modify my knees next time Blush ... slinks away looking embarrassed ...

MarieDeGournay · 31/08/2026 17:23

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 16:22

I’d have thought that if there was an exception for anyone it would be Swashy.

Yes. but you know how pirates have their own sense of honour alongside the pirating and pillaging?

I reckon Inky would say 'BOOTS OFF TABLE, IF YOU PLEASE!' and the piano player would stop playing, Gubbins would pause in mid-ting, and everybody in the Bluey would stop what they are doing to see how Pirate Swashy reacted, keeping a close eye on that razor-sharp cutlass at her side [where it usually is when not between her teeth during an actual pirating].

And Swash would sweep her plumed tricorn hat off her head, nod respectfully to Inky and obediently place her feet on the the floor.

That's what Douglas Fairbanks or Errol Flynn would do, so I'm sure that's standard pirate behaviourGrin

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 17:34

MarieDeGournay · 31/08/2026 17:23

Yes. but you know how pirates have their own sense of honour alongside the pirating and pillaging?

I reckon Inky would say 'BOOTS OFF TABLE, IF YOU PLEASE!' and the piano player would stop playing, Gubbins would pause in mid-ting, and everybody in the Bluey would stop what they are doing to see how Pirate Swashy reacted, keeping a close eye on that razor-sharp cutlass at her side [where it usually is when not between her teeth during an actual pirating].

And Swash would sweep her plumed tricorn hat off her head, nod respectfully to Inky and obediently place her feet on the the floor.

That's what Douglas Fairbanks or Errol Flynn would do, so I'm sure that's standard pirate behaviourGrin

We have a piano player?

Chickadeeinme · 31/08/2026 17:39

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 17:34

We have a piano player?

Grande.

AsWithGlad · 31/08/2026 17:39

Chickadeeinme · 31/08/2026 17:39

Grande.

I see what you did there. 😀

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 17:42

And Glissando & Gamut are the singers.

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 17:46

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 17:42

And Glissando & Gamut are the singers.

With Gubbins on percussion, of course.

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 17:48

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 17:46

With Gubbins on percussion, of course.

Of course!

I bet Gubbins would like a One Gerbil Band kit for her birthday.

MyrtleLion · 31/08/2026 17:53

inkymoose · 31/08/2026 15:00

Triffic stuff BUT ... boots on the TABLE? Fundamental error, that, AI. Boots and all footwear must stay on the floor. Granny's Rules.

They're not on the table. Swashy is sitting at the table, taking off her boots. I hoped that was clear... 😞

Gosie will be around shortly.

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 17:54

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 17:48

Of course!

I bet Gubbins would like a One Gerbil Band kit for her birthday.

I bet she would. I'm not sure it sounds like a good idea though.

MyrtleLion · 31/08/2026 17:58

36. A Delivery

In which Fenella forgets herself...

In the break room, Griffin waited until Graphic had unwrapped her sandwich before she said it. “Why did you take the blank sheet of paper from the notepad?”

“Because I know indentations,” said Graphic.

“It’s a phone number.”

“It might be a phone number.” Graphic said. “I haven’t looked at it properly yet. I need a soft pencil and a light coming from the side.”

“Halcyon wrote it down,” said Griffin. “It’s the number of a courier, but it was in the locked tab, not on the Courier tab. It’s for the crate that has to go tomorrow. That’s all it is.”

“We’re here to find out what happens in this workshop,” Graphic picked up her sandwich. “That’s why we say what we did all day when we get home. If I notice indentations on a notepad then it might be important.”

Griffin thought about it and did not argue.

“I found the Mark of the Margrave,” said Gimbal.

Graphic and Griffin looked at her.

“In the stamp box. Last chain, seventh one out. It’s heavier than the others and the die is the circle with the three lines struck through it. Number 106,” she said. “I was still holding it when Graphic came over for stamp 17.”

“106?” asked Griffin.

“106,” said Gimbal. “It has to go in 106 because that’s where 106 goes.”

Griffin put her mug down. “I’ve now seen nearly all of the password. I know seven of the ten characters. A capital F at the start. A gap. Two 5s together, then a b. A gap then a c. Then another gap and a British pound sign £ near the end, and last of all a t.”

“That’s more than four,” said Gimbal.

“It’s three short,” agreed Griffin.

Suddenly a loud knock could be heard. Someone was being very insistent at the workshop door, loud enough to carry through two walls.

Moments later Halcyon came into the break room without knocking at all. “Lunch is over. We need all three of you to help with the crate. It takes four.”

It did indeed take four. The delivery driver pushed her trolley close to the bench and eased the crate onto the floor. Halcyon signed to acknowledge receipt of the delivery and the driver left as quickly as she had arrived. Halcyon used a crowbar round the edge of the lid of the crate to prise it off. Inside, the gerbils could only see a wooden board which Halcyon lifted out and placed on the floor next to the crate.

Underneath was a thick covering of straw, which Halcyon scooped out and placed carefully onto the bench. Then she beckoned the gerbils to come and help her. She showed them the frame laid on top of a second wooden board and indicated that they should get their paws under the board and lift it out. Together, they carried the board to the bench and carefully slide the frame off the board and onto the bed of straw.

They could see the frame held stained glass flat in place, assembled as a complete pane, every piece cut and painted and fired and where the lead should be lay more straw.

The whole window sat there in the north light showing a woman in glass the colour of deep water. Three keys on a ring, each one different. A purse at her belt, heavy with its contents.

Fenella Burnish had been waiting patiently for them to place the frame on the bench and now stepped forward to inspect the glass closely. She did not speak for a while.

Suddenly Fenella stepped back, and unfurled her wings out, up and open in a single movement, the whole span of orange and scarlet and gold thrown wide over the bench like a matador working a cape, and from somewhere in her throat came a single call, thin and wheezing and nothing like anything they had ever heard from a bird before. It went on for about a second and a half.

Then she folded her wings and stood at the bench. Only a faint blush across her face indicated that anything had happened at all.

“Perfect,” Fenella said eventually. “Look at the paint on that. Look what she’s done with the shadow under the keyring, that’s four firings if it’s one.” She leaned closer to examine the glass even more closely. “Beautiful. Ms Glasswing really is the best there is, and there’s nobody else I’d give the work to.”

“And there is no crack,” she said. “Just as I asked.”

Nobody said anything. Halcyon had gone to put the empty crate away.

Graphic looked over to the far end of the workshop, where the other window lay, the panel whose lead marks she had spent the last week copying. Deep water blue. Three keys, each one different. The purse.

The same woman, twice, less than three metres apart, in one room.

Gimbal had already walked over to the original to take a closer look.

The crack ran fine and pale across the lower corner of the original, exactly where it had always been.

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/36-a-delivery

The Bluestocking Pub, where we continue to read about gerbils nobly and bravely working undercover in the Fen.
Thehorticulturalhussie · 31/08/2026 18:00

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 17:34

We have a piano player?

We have a piano???

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 18:03

Thehorticulturalhussie · 31/08/2026 18:00

We have a piano???

A very strong piano to survive all the trips by camel or tractor!

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 18:22

MyrtleLion · 31/08/2026 17:58

36. A Delivery

In which Fenella forgets herself...

In the break room, Griffin waited until Graphic had unwrapped her sandwich before she said it. “Why did you take the blank sheet of paper from the notepad?”

“Because I know indentations,” said Graphic.

“It’s a phone number.”

“It might be a phone number.” Graphic said. “I haven’t looked at it properly yet. I need a soft pencil and a light coming from the side.”

“Halcyon wrote it down,” said Griffin. “It’s the number of a courier, but it was in the locked tab, not on the Courier tab. It’s for the crate that has to go tomorrow. That’s all it is.”

“We’re here to find out what happens in this workshop,” Graphic picked up her sandwich. “That’s why we say what we did all day when we get home. If I notice indentations on a notepad then it might be important.”

Griffin thought about it and did not argue.

“I found the Mark of the Margrave,” said Gimbal.

Graphic and Griffin looked at her.

“In the stamp box. Last chain, seventh one out. It’s heavier than the others and the die is the circle with the three lines struck through it. Number 106,” she said. “I was still holding it when Graphic came over for stamp 17.”

“106?” asked Griffin.

“106,” said Gimbal. “It has to go in 106 because that’s where 106 goes.”

Griffin put her mug down. “I’ve now seen nearly all of the password. I know seven of the ten characters. A capital F at the start. A gap. Two 5s together, then a b. A gap then a c. Then another gap and a British pound sign £ near the end, and last of all a t.”

“That’s more than four,” said Gimbal.

“It’s three short,” agreed Griffin.

Suddenly a loud knock could be heard. Someone was being very insistent at the workshop door, loud enough to carry through two walls.

Moments later Halcyon came into the break room without knocking at all. “Lunch is over. We need all three of you to help with the crate. It takes four.”

It did indeed take four. The delivery driver pushed her trolley close to the bench and eased the crate onto the floor. Halcyon signed to acknowledge receipt of the delivery and the driver left as quickly as she had arrived. Halcyon used a crowbar round the edge of the lid of the crate to prise it off. Inside, the gerbils could only see a wooden board which Halcyon lifted out and placed on the floor next to the crate.

Underneath was a thick covering of straw, which Halcyon scooped out and placed carefully onto the bench. Then she beckoned the gerbils to come and help her. She showed them the frame laid on top of a second wooden board and indicated that they should get their paws under the board and lift it out. Together, they carried the board to the bench and carefully slide the frame off the board and onto the bed of straw.

They could see the frame held stained glass flat in place, assembled as a complete pane, every piece cut and painted and fired and where the lead should be lay more straw.

The whole window sat there in the north light showing a woman in glass the colour of deep water. Three keys on a ring, each one different. A purse at her belt, heavy with its contents.

Fenella Burnish had been waiting patiently for them to place the frame on the bench and now stepped forward to inspect the glass closely. She did not speak for a while.

Suddenly Fenella stepped back, and unfurled her wings out, up and open in a single movement, the whole span of orange and scarlet and gold thrown wide over the bench like a matador working a cape, and from somewhere in her throat came a single call, thin and wheezing and nothing like anything they had ever heard from a bird before. It went on for about a second and a half.

Then she folded her wings and stood at the bench. Only a faint blush across her face indicated that anything had happened at all.

“Perfect,” Fenella said eventually. “Look at the paint on that. Look what she’s done with the shadow under the keyring, that’s four firings if it’s one.” She leaned closer to examine the glass even more closely. “Beautiful. Ms Glasswing really is the best there is, and there’s nobody else I’d give the work to.”

“And there is no crack,” she said. “Just as I asked.”

Nobody said anything. Halcyon had gone to put the empty crate away.

Graphic looked over to the far end of the workshop, where the other window lay, the panel whose lead marks she had spent the last week copying. Deep water blue. Three keys, each one different. The purse.

The same woman, twice, less than three metres apart, in one room.

Gimbal had already walked over to the original to take a closer look.

The crack ran fine and pale across the lower corner of the original, exactly where it had always been.

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/36-a-delivery

Edited

I wonder what the significance of the crack is? 🤔

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 18:24

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 18:22

I wonder what the significance of the crack is? 🤔

I don’t suppose there could be something very tiny inside the crack?

DauntlessDamson · 31/08/2026 18:31

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 18:22

I wonder what the significance of the crack is? 🤔

I'm clueless, but agog.

My usual state really🤔

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 18:31

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 18:24

I don’t suppose there could be something very tiny inside the crack?

I was wondering if Fenella is trying to tip people off about what's happening, but she's probably too self centred for that.

Magpiecomplex · 31/08/2026 18:35

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/08/2026 18:03

A very strong piano to survive all the trips by camel or tractor!

We must be spending a fortune on piano tuning. Unless one of the gerbils does it?

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