Do titles matter?

[Cheeseandolivesplease]

I had this debate on a general board and the over-riding consensus was that "titles are irrelevant" (insofar as it makes no difference if you choose to be a Mrs HisName).
I vehemently disagree.
Someone suggested I'd get a different perspective on the Feminism board so here I am.
Is the fact that I am a married Ms MyName a "complete irrelevance" to fighting against the patriarchy do you think?
Do female honorifics matter?

I think it matters as people do not need to know if a woman is married or not. It doesn't seem to something a man has to announce so readily.

I like them. I’m Miss but happy to become a Mrs if I ever get married. Although I might do a double barrel if it feels weird to lose my surname!

I think it matters as people do not need to know if a woman is married or not.

I don't think these days Mrs does tell you a woman is currently married - tells you at some point she has been and may be still currently.

Many divorced women I know keep Mrs and husband surname - I wouldn't change the surname again if I divorced not sure about title.

I believe there used to be conventions that in past indicated if divorse or currently married - currently married being refered to by both first and surname of husband with title Mrs but that's died out now.

Yes, I get Mrs all the time and I am not married so essentially that’s my Mum’s name. It drives me insane, just the presumption of it.
I use Ms but it seems quite uncommon, strangely this didn’t happen so much in London, now I live in a more provincial city, it happens daily and also assuming my partner is my husband, which is triggering because we only co parent due to logistics and financial situation.

@ExpectMore I have wondered this about lesbian couples - the ones I know (and I know quite a number) have all opted for Mrs and Mrs. I'd be interested to find out why they chose this rather than, say, Ms or Ms?
For me, personally, I would rather a genuinely neutral title - afforded to me in the same way as Mr is to men.
You referred to it "as a sign that they’re in a committed marriage to one another" but I am in committed marriage to my husband/wife without needing to declare it publicly (just as all men do with Mr).
Interestingly enough, I was looking at an anniversary card today for my niece and noticed that the wedding cards including titles were "Mr and Mrs", "Mr and Mr" and "Mrs and Mrs."
Not an option for "Mr and Ms" (or other variations).

Ms or Mrs Harry Sussex is very keen to be called Duchess.

I’m a teacher and all my colleagues who are over mid 30s and unmarried using the title Miss get called Mrs. Not just by the children, by other staff, parents, any visitors. One always makes a point of correcting people (“Nope, still not married!”, “Goodness! I got married! When did that happen? Hope it was a good do.” or “I’m Miss not Mrs” depending on how annoyed she is by it) but the others have given up.

It’s really rude getting someone’s name wrong but there is also this assumption that they all must be married because that’s what women do.

Yes - I was mentoring a year 9 boy at one of the local schools this last year, and he struggled to get his head round the fact I am not married and don't have children. To be fair, at his age, I always I assumed I would be,because what else would there be to do after having a career? (I haven't had an impressive career, either)

@Happyhettie @EBearhug Good on you both! I was a teacher for 20 plus years (now a tutor), and had exactly the same! It didn't help that in all of the schools I worked at, including the bigger ones, I was nearly always the only Ms so Mrs was very much assumed!
I remember distinctly a lesson in which a Y5 girl said to me (really politely): "Ms X, can I ask a question? You said you had a husband, so why are you not Mrs? Because when ladies get married that's what they are?"
Very recently I was supply teaching for a day at a school I hadn't worked at before. I introduced myself to a member of staff I was working with by my first name and then she said "What's your teacher name so I can tell the children, and are you Mrs?" I told her I was Ms X to which she smiled and replied: "Ah lovely, Ms X. Ah I know we do like to assume all lady teachers are married, don't we?"
So for me, it has also been about addressing false assumptions regarding title and marital status too.

I think it’s because “Mrs” implies married.

Fair point re. no male equivalent. Perhaps there should be one should men want to use it also?

Or, more probably, there’s other bigger fish to fry and this isn’t one to get offended about, die in a ditch over, or make a rallying cry about… it’s just a title.

@ExpectMore But it isn't "just a title." I think you're missing the point.

I think it matters. I'm a Ms (married) and last used Miss when I was, I don't know, late teens maybe. I'm also Dr, which I usually put on forms. I also kept my maiden name (even the word "maiden" sounds terribly dated!).