Should we bring back more single sex schools

[Ddakji]

Slightly following on from some of the threads about Adolescence (which I haven’t seen), I started wondering - has the demise of boys’ schools negatively impacted boys?

I’d be really interested to hear from others, especially the parents of boys - I have one DD (15h who’s been in mixed sex schools most of the time but is now in a girls’ school.

I went to a single sex school and had only sisters and yet still managed to have relationships & friendships with boys because it was a school not a nunnery. I am genuinely baffled by the idea that going to a single sex school means you don’t have male friends

when I went to university I was gobsmacked at the idea held by many boys that somehow because their voice's were louder than mine they got to talk over me because their views somehow mattered more. Er no - I didn’t have anyone do that to me in school & I wouldn’t tolerate it at uni

after uni I did some observational research in a mixed comp and was utterly horrified by the low level persistent sexual bullying of the girls. Constant lifting of skirts with rulers, comments about their appearance, being on “the blob”, pinging bra straps, casual use of slag - and that was 30 years ago. God knows what it’s like now!

DH went to a boys school and is most definitely not a misogynist

Our local state, single sex are only SS to year 11 and have mixed sixth forms. By uni, mine were quite used to the opposite sex!

It did mean that my girls didn’t have experience much lower level disruption up to year 11 though.

There are women teachers in boys schools @atmywitsend1989. Just no girls. There’s benefits to having mixed staff and men who are role models.

I too find it odd that people think a girls’ school turns girls into wallflowers. My DD went to a girls’ school and we found there was huge encouragement to be themselves and they were given every encouragement to speak up. Being with boys at university wasn’t going to be a challenge to anyone.

What we need to remember is that some dc are quiet and reticent anyway. Some girls really do prefer not to have boys around at school but at 18 of course they are mature enough to cope with males! Very many successful women have come via schools like St Paul’s Girls and Wycombe Abbey. Schools like this ensure girls are confident in their abilities and around others.

@mids2019. I think the boys who are brought up with misogyny in the household are more influenced by that than nearly everything else. There are a good number of boys like this in co Ed schools too and don’t the girls know it! I cannot see how a boys school makes it worse. It’s upbringing and guidance in the home that makes most difference. Clear messages from school are also important but parents’ attitudes really matter. The boys will be boys attitude is allowed to spill over into unacceptable behaviour towards girls.

That’s not actually my starting point.

What I was pondering was more if there’s a benefit to boys having their own space to learn in, just as we know there is for girls.

So a timetable and curriculum that works for boys, and a space with good male role models where they can discuss and learn away in a way that works for them.

Its a theory, I’m not going into the forensic practicalities!

I don’t know if it would work, if it would make any difference in not turning boys into misogynistic men.

But something has gone very wrong for too many men in our society, which is bad and sometimes lethal for women and girls. Obviously we’re having lots of conversations about the internet, porn, the manosphere etc - this isn’t replacing those or pushing them down the list of importance, just another thing to perhaps consider.

But I don’t think I’ve explained myself very well!

I agree with @TizerorFizz that it is coming from men at home. How many men now think watching porn regularly is "normal" compared to the 80's and 90's? How many men therefore are accepting of trends such as choking, sleeping with family members, physical dominance over women being seen by their teens on a regular basis? We have enabled this because it is a tough subject and men have led us to believe watching porn is somehow a "right".

If anyone can imagine, just for a second, a world where teen girls regularly watched women doing this to men and we all just allowed it...do you think men would be happy?

I went to a single sex secondary school. I was extremely shy around boys and wouldn’t have known how to act around them (I’ve since been diagnosed with autism).

I much preferred being in a girls only school.

My dd is attending a mixed school and she seems to be doing really well. She has her first boyfriend (awww cute) and gets on with both boys and girls.

My experience of one for a year at senior was awful. The girls only saw boys as sex partners, they had no male friends, and the boys thought the same about the girls.
This was age 15 in 1978.

So no, it’s not the answer.

Those schools are generally girls of a particular social class too though - that certainly contributes to confidence !!

Do you really think that any school in 2025 bears any resemblance to a school in 1978?

What schools?

Ah - sorry - quote fail. I meant St Paul’s Girls and the like…

That constitutes a very small number of girls’ schools.

I went to an all girls school and loved it. Great feminist atmosphere, no gender stereotyping or having to compete with boys in things like sport. Hoping to send DD to one.

Yes there are not that many girls in private single sex schools but they are some of the best and tailor their offering to girls being confident. I don’t entirely see why these girls aren’t like other girls in not wanting to be educated with boys. My DDs were not that keen either.

It’s interesting it’s seen as cute when a dd gets a boyfriend. Depends doesn’t it? When is it not cute?

I have actually never heard of any single sex state schools - is it common in England / Wales /NI?

Having just watched adolesence (great series) the observation crossed my mind this wouldn't have happened in a single sex school.

Personally I really worry about adolescents going out with each other though of course it's a hormonal time. The amount of porn and misogyny boys are exposed to probably in reality leads to some warped relationship expectations from the the boys. I worry about this as a parent of daughters.

There are obvious worries about consent with not yet fully mature young people as well as boyfriends / girlfriends being in a way a distraction from study etc. which really isn't necessary.

I think there is a very good argument for girls schools.

@ShockedandStunnedRepeatedlyFairly unusual but 8/13 grammars in my LA are single sex. No shortage of applicants!

Quite a few in my bit of south east London. State comps, not grammar schools.

Well colour me shocked and stunned ! How interesting.

Both DD’s in a girls school, I’ve always felt they would be safer like that. They’ve done so well academically as well with older one getting outstanding A’levels in stem subjects.
What I did notice is that when they allowed boys in 6th form it had a negative impact. My dd for a start got distracted in class and got a lot of attention, she also got hurt by one of the boys when a play fight turned serious and he yanked her head back by her hair.

I think there should be co-ed schools but split into boy and girl classes for some subjects.

@ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly they are getting rarer. The town I grew up in had 6 single sex schools and two co ed. Now they are all co ed.

Where I live now there is a girls' school but no boys' school.

About 10% of state secondaries in England - often religious schools. It's kind of an irrelevance for most people - a bit like grammars which don't exist any more for the vast majority of the population. Much more common in NI. Dunno about Wales.

It's common enough in NI. All my schooling was single sex. I loved it.

DS went to Co-ed primary and then boy's secondary until GCSEs. He's doing his A-levels at a Co-ed school. It all seems to have worked for him.