Disown by mum friends who I have known for 20 years due to my gender critical view.

[rouxelitee]

I am a bit sad today because I have been disowned by my group of friends who are mothers. I have known them since college. All of us have children, mine is a toddler.

One of them is a paediatrician. Let's call her JY. She supports the trans-movement for children. Recently she has shared an article with the whatsapp chat group on sexual and relationship saying that this should be how children are parented. https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/sex-relationships/
I didn't agree with the gender and identity section and I called it out. I said that affirming children in this matter will make things worst. The conversation escalated and she basically cautioned me that this is hate speech and if a doctor have the same view as I do, their license will be taken.

Fast forward to today, my partner and I are have been researching on local schools and their policies on the same matter, preparing ourselves for when our child is of school age. We found out that this school in Leicester has the following policy.

7.3 In accordance with the Equality Act 2010 we will not inform a parent or carer about a student being Trans or gender questioning.
7.4 Confidential information will not be shared with the parents and carers without a student’s permission, unless there are safeguarding reasons for doing so.
_
https://www.newcollege.leicester.sch.uk/force_download.cfm?id=3190

I felt that this is such a massive red flag, that I need to warn all my friends to look into their school policies.

JY then said "Much as I value our friendship, I do not have headspace to engage in these issues. I'll bow out of this group." A few others followed and quit the chat group.

They will possibly not talk to me ever again. I am very sad and I feel very alone in this matter, and that my partner and I and alone in this battle alone trying to protect our child from the state, the school and dangerous ideology.

I guess I just want to not feel like a crazy person shouting on top of my lungs "please look into this, this is bad".

Thanks,
roux

Can you explain why you disagree with that?
what’s the point, you’ve heard it all before right?

Cases such as Gillick competency have established that professionals SHOULD treat under 18s as competent to make the decision to exclude parents under certain circumstances.

I am happy with that in principle.

Obviously there might be occasions where I think the wrong decisions have been made in practice.

However, parents are not always (sadly) the best people to protect and support their children.

Amen.

I've never actually seen you explain why you think trans women are more important than female women, no.

that’s probably because I don’t think that at all

Don't you?

So if there is a trans woman and a female woman both needing to use the changing rooms, and the trans woman believes they need to get changed with the women and the female woman needs that space not to have any male people in it, whose needs take priority?

🙄

Well?

I’ve had this conversation on this website far too many times to engage in this nonsense.

What's so hard about answering the question?

As above .
goad me all you want.

I'm not goading you, but your lack of response is a response in itself.

If you didn't believe that trans women should take priority over female women, you would just say that the female women are entitled to single sex spaces.

there is literally no way to respond to this sort of nonsense. I’ve learned that the hard way. I’ve more than tried, on many , many an occasion. Yet if I don’t respond that also is apparently a response 💁🏼‍♀️. It is what it is.

You don’t like trans people: I can’t change that . I wish I could reason you out of it. I know I can’t.

As a parent I want my child (now 17, LOTS of involvement due to her specific needs, removed from birth parents and placed with me as a pre schooler) to get the best support available.

There have been times where she has needed to tell someone else about her early experiences, and then tell me in her own time. Thank goodness those supporting her have felt able to give her that time, while encouraging her to feel able to tell me.

She had no rational reason to worry about telling me, but needed me to keep loving her so much that the slightest feeling of guilt (nothing in any way her fault, but abused children take it on themselves) made it incredibly difficult to tell me.

If your child feels they are trans, or are exploring the possibility (or may be gay, or were abused, or any other issue they don't feel they can tell you) then as a parent the best thing you can do is talk to them and give them permission to talk to other trusted adults.

Teachers, older cousins/relatives, youth leaders. Whoever might be a trusted adult. Have those conversations about who they can talk to if it is too difficult to talk to you. Allowing that conversation makes it more likely they will feel comfortable talking to you

❤️

It's not nonsense. It's plain as day.

Saying, "You don't like trans people" is also nonsense. Some trans people are lovely. Some are sex offenders. They're not a homogenous group to like or dislike.

Whether someone is likeable or not is literally irrelevant to which changing rooms they should be using or which sporting categories they should be competing in.

Whether someone is likeable or not is literally irrelevant to which changing rooms they should be using or which sporting categories they should be competing in.

well we can at least agree on this.

So what do you think should be the relevant criteria, if not likeability and not sex?

Gender

Gender is imaginary, Tandora.

I am aware that this is your belief.

No one who believes gender is real can explain what the hell they think it is.

gender is complex, as is sex, and there are many different perspectives on both. Both are also very real.

How is man gender different to woman gender?

What are the characteristics of each?

If you believe in it you should really be able to describe what it is.