Married Ms!

[Hellodarknessmyfriend]

I feel like I'm literally the only one!
Anybody else out there? ❤️

Me! Definitely a 20th century thing I think! I'm not bothered if people mis-Mrs me.

I started calling myself Ms Myname in approx 1985, and was married in 1997 and am still Ms Myname. I don't open any post addressed to Mrs Myfirstname Hisname, Mrs Hisname etc - its not my name and never has been. Ds is Myname-Hisname as are the dogs fwiw

Married Ms/Dr and I use my own name.

I'm another whose in-laws address me as Mrs Hisname and whose superficial business acquaintances have taken gratuitous offence when told my title is Ms. I was surprised. It didn't occur to me that anyone else would give a damn.

I find the term 'maiden' name just as repellent as the assumption that every woman should relinquish her own identity on marriage.

It’s just your name. Maiden name is a hideous, outdated term.

Married 20 years this year and never once answered to Mrs or DH’s surname. Any post addressed to Mrs Hisname gets binned/sent back as it’s clearly nobody I know.

DH, however, will answer to Mr Myname. 😆

DD has my surname and DH’s as a middle name.

Did once have a manager who couldn’t get her head around me having the same name since birth despite being married. She wondered, aloud, why I wasn’t “proud of being married to DH”. I asked her how she felt about her husband not being proud to be married to her, given it wasn’t obvious to anyone that he was (with a sympathetic head tilt).

No wedding/engagement rings here either.

I'm one too. I also hate older women being addressed as "Miss" just cause they aren't married. Are they still maidens? Is it anyone's business but their own? Other countries like France and Germany have abolished Fräulein and Mademoiselle. It's about time Britain did as well. My maritial status should be irrelevant to how I am addressed.

I'm another married Ms.
DC school here in Ireland calls all the female teachers Ms, which I like.

I’m one too OP and partly I was inspired by one of my primary teachers who was Ms N, she was brilliant and also a massive advocate for girls‘ sport. Shout out to her. Think of the girls you’ll be influencing in the future. Love a PP’s suggestion of a slideshow.

When I had a male colleague who couldn’t cope with me not being Miss/Mrs I started referring to all our male colleagues with the title Married/Unmarried eg “Unmarried Clive will be working on this project with Married Raj.” He said he got the point 😂

Op at dd's large secondary school we have around a third of female teachers who are Ms, quite equally split between Ms, Miss and Mrs (and there's one Mx who tells the kids they can call them whichever one they like. According to dd most of the kids call the teacher Miss though)

My kids' primary school was all first names. The secondary was all Ms/Mr on the website/official communications etc, although I do know a few did use Mrs. The kids still called them Ms though.

I have been Ms since the early 80's. I stayed Ms and kept my name when I got married in 1993. Most of my friends did the same. A few did change their names but mainly stuck with Ms.

I'm in Ireland though and Mrs is less common here (at least in the social circles I move in) other than for older women. The only women I know personally who use Mrs are my parents' generation, so 70's and 80's. The default in my workplace is also Ms or Dr/Prof.

All my family in Ireland are Mrs. ( married women that is 🤣)
None are teachers.
Ages ranging from late 20s to early 60s.
None are big city dwellers, don’t know if that makes a difference

I've never used Ms. I was Miss before I got married as I preferred it. We did discuss whether to both use my maiden name (DH was happy to take my surname or me his, either way so I chose his as it flowed better with my first name). So I am Mrs his name.

It’s amazing how often that happens. You had the opportunity to buck the sexist trend but ended up going for the sexist option anyway with title and name.

His name flowed better with your first name - but that hadn’t been a problem at any other point in your life?!

<slow clap>

Married Ms here

when I was at school, teachers were sir or miss, regardless of marital/doctoral status 😀

"Ms" is pretty standard in my profession! Otherwise you'd have to try and remember who is married and who isn't, which is plainly ridiculous.

I'm a Ms with my maiden name. I have been asked many times if I am a lesbian.

I don’t know your profession… but if you are in the habit of using titles, are any doctors “Dr”?

I would very much prefer if Ms was the norm as when I email teachers at the boys’ school, I have to guess (I guess Ms if I don’t know)

I am a married Ms/Dr (don't really use the Dr except when working with academics, but did start using it with DD's old secondary school after being patronised by a teacher)

I have only had anyone question it once, which was a receptionist at a breast clinic when I was on my way to my cancer results appointment. She told me I couldn't be a Ms if I was married. Yup - just what I needed right at that moment. FFS.

I'm surprised at that. I live in a small village but we are close to a city.

In the primary school my kids went to, most of the mothers kept their birth name on marriage as well. It was a very middle class school though with most parents in professional jobs.

I think jobs also make a difference. Where I work (university) most of the female academics kept their name while the women in professional services are more mixed. They all have Ms on the door sign though as default. You can request Miss/Mrs but I've never seen a sign with either.

Married, primary school teacher Ms over here. The kids tend to call me Miss CrazyLazy but when I was listed on the school website as Mrs CrazyLazy, I marched up to the office and asked them to change it.

My husband didn't have to change his title once he was married. When he is introduced, his title doesn't give away his marriage status like mine would if I was a Mrs.

I kept my maiden name as well. I don't see why I should change my name (very normal, non embarrassing name), when hubby point blank refused to take my name instead. He wailed "but it's tradition for you to take my name". He stopped when I pointed out that it was tradition to not sleep together until we were married but I hadn't insisted on that tradition or that tradition says that I should give up work once I was married. Funny, that

Can we stop calling it a “maiden” name, please? It’s our name. “Maiden” suggests it’s temporary until someone else lets us use theirs!

I use Miss Myname and don’t use DH’s name at all. I’ve never changed any paperwork or anything so it’s all very straightforward. I always use Ms as a default for any woman whose preference I don’t know and am more than happy to be addressed as Ms. I’ve never wanted to change my name or be Mrs. I agree it would be better if we were all Ms as adults and did away with Miss and Mrs altogether.

Also suggests we’re all virgins until our wedding nights. I can only speak for myself, of course, but…

Same. You're so right about this and it drives me crazy too

I administrate a database.

one of the most frustrating things I get is women who email asking x or y.

i go into the database, I can’t find their account. I email back, you’re not on there.

i get a faux innocent oh it must still be in my maiden name. I got married!!

i don’t give a fuck love, you’ve just wasted 10 minutes of my day searching the database and emailing. Considering I get this request several times a day (national organisation) it’s a massive time waster.

then I did some family tree research for a relative. Sorted dads line and brothers easily. Bloody women were a nightmare as once they married I lost them and couldn’t find death certs. I always wondered why people tend to research male lineage, this is why!

Why are women so keen to give up their names and identity, just to make the world aware they’re married!!