Dd uncomfortable with trans child using bathroom

[sunnynightsarethebest]

My dd, year 6, had said today there is a boy in her school (they are in year 4) who identifies as a girl. The child gets to use the female toilets, my dd and a few girls in her class are uncomfortable with this as they are going through puberty and don't want to share a bathroom with the child. I don't no what to do about the situation as dd doesn't want to use the bathroom at school incase the child is in there, but I get the child identifies as a girl so needs to. But I feel my daughter and others in her class should be able to use a bathroom and not be concerned by whose in there. What would people do in this situation?

Obviously though there is the principle and when the children involved are older it will be a different scenario.

By which point it’ll be too late to raise an objection because “well, X has been using the girls toilets since primary without any problem”.

Its basically training young girls to accept boys and men in the toilets with them as being something they just have to get used to and accept despite the statistics about how unsafe it is.

Not if the staff toilets are male and female. Age doesn't trump sex in this case either. Kid's still a male and should use the make toilets.

Floor to ceiling cubicles with sinks in give a comfortable and secure feeling for most. And these need to lead on to an open space. But this isn’t the case. Ridiculously large gaps between doors (above and below) leave most people feeling vulnerable. And then, what worries me most, is a door, enclosing it all away from plain sight. What the fuck is that door about? That door means anything can go on beyond it. We want privacy within the actual toilet!! I work in a college and most toilets are split male/female. But a newly refurbished area has unisex toilets. Fine. But then a wacking great door, hiding what goes on within. I would not like this. And I’m a pretty confident 50odd year-old. Child/teenage me would have been very unhappy. The door almost gives the same level of privacy for those within as it does a cubicle; ie privacy for any wishing to do others harm.

Personally I'm utterly sick of this crap and girls being to taught to just shut up and put up.

I really feel sorry for girls of mums right now.

Me in your situation I'd tell my daughter to start using the boys toilets and see how they feel having their space invaded by girls, bet they wouldn't like it and there would be bloody outrage.

I recall primary school day when we used to dare each other to run into the boys or the boys run into the girls toilets.. what and now they can just stroll in?

Just no, just sod this utter crap and tell the head to sort out a space for the boy to go that is away from the girls toilets, give him some space while he's navigating his life and leave the girls out of it.

Why do they have to get dragged in to his life choices.

Yep and our school is a listed building - there's no way that we could provide toilet blocks like those described as the ideal. Hell providing ones that get through the winter without at least one pipe going is usually impossible!

My post meant to say "mums of girls"

Actually kids a biological female in this case

What? No, the child is male. He wants to use the girls toilets

I'm talking about the child i know not the one in the op

I was sexually assaulted by five boys of this age.
I was a year younger than them at the time. It happened at school. In the playground, but behind shrubbery. My friends ran to tell teachers as it was happening. They were not believed…nor was I. Yet, if I’d been followed into the toilets, or my brave little friends had told a teacher that there were boys in the girls’ loos, I may well have survived my experience at least a little less scathed. We’ve been through enough. Leave us our dunnies.

I remember being sexually harassed by boys at that age too. I went into puberty quite young and started periods aged 11. That's exactly what it was so I'm calling it that. The teachers did nothing to stop it and didn't take it seriously because we were just children but I'm nearly 50 and remember it clearly.

WTF, the kid is a boy, genetically, biologically male.

If a so-called trans girl using the girls' toilets is 'no big deal' because, hey, they're only kids, why does this argument not apply generally then? Right from P1/reception, toilet facilities are separate for good reason. Both sexes, in my view, deserve privacy when using the toilets. Boys go through puberty too with all its awkwardness and embarrassment. The extra element girls need is SAFETY. And it is essential that they continue to be afforded that right from an early age to avoid any confusion about, or hesitation in processing, who should or shouldn't be in their toilets. I don't believe there should be any exceptions.

Exactly.

It is just a boy, wanting to use the toilet.

It being the situation that the OP described.

It is a boy, saying he is a girl. It doesn't mean that he has magicked into a girl.

We do not mix boys and girls toilets for safeguarding reasons.

We do not mix staff and pupil toilets for safeguarding reasons.

A boy saying words does not negate these safeguarding reasons.

As others have said it's a breach of the equality act 2010. Girls are entitled to single sex toilets.

Think I saw the link to safe schools alliance already posted. They have good info.

Haven’t read the whole thread, but I regularly had terrible periods at the onset of puberty. Blood everywhere. Would often come out of the toilets with blood on my hands and wouldn’t have wanted a boy around while I was washing it off.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · Today 12:26

Sun** I'm pretty sure Alison wasn't actually referring to this child child as it but rather "call it what it is/call the situation what it is "

I'm of the opinion that the responding poster was being deliberately obtuse, to be able to claim some sort of "Gotcha!"

Why can’t a boy who presents as a girl use the boy’s toilets?

How do we teach boys to grow into men who accept men who present in a feminine way?

Because it isn’t by making girls share facilities with boys.

Absolutely

I bet they'll do nothing.

In an old role one of the managers transitioned from male to female and used the female toilets. A few of the women were upset. I wasn't as it was cubicles and I don't hang about in there but I see and agree with their concerns. Anyways, before they had chance to voice it we were told that "there is laws to protect them and if you don't like it you'll have to use the disabled" and that was the meeting over. Astonishing world really.

Why shouldn’t she?

The op is looking for advice

I would speak to the school. I think the important lesson here is for your daughter to be able to speak up when she feels uncomfortable. The put up and shut up messages are damaging.

This child is 6, this has absolutely been put into her head by, probably, her mother. Exactly what danger do you think another 6 yr old of either sex poses?