Pregnant NYC Bike "Karen" was the victim, not the agressor

[littleripper]

Trial by social media for a pregnant woman who cried when a man tried to steal the bike she's hired is tried and hung by social media, and put on unpaid leave from her job, with no evidence or investigation:

https://www.bicycling.com/news/a43920956/pregnant-nyc-karen-on-video-trying-to-steal-a-black-mans-citi-bike/

https://news.yahoo.com/receipts-show-hospital-worker-accused-170920174.html

It turns out she had paid for the bike and he has no evidence he paid. But he is not the subject of the internets wrath, no consequences for him.

I hope she takes her employers to court and wins a massive settlement. Surreal levels of misogyny and hatred directed to a pregnant healthcare worker who did nothing wrong at all.

Will this ever be recognised for what it is?

Why is it so hard for white women (I am one) to accept statements as the one above? It baffles me that people cant reflect and go 'this doesn't happen to ME, but it happens to people who don't look like me'.

My son (black) was about 7 when he realised it was best not to play with white girls at school. Because they cry even when its them being mean and then we (him and black friend) have to go on time out and miss the next play time'. 7 years old. 7

If you are a feminist, does that not mean being a fighter for ALL women.

You cant be a feminist while telling a group of women that what they are experiencing, isn't what they are experiencing.

Oh deary me. Ok MEN. They are 'more likely' to be in the wrong because they are MEN? Or because it was a 'group of BLACK men'?

It is interesting that peoples lived experiences make us view this situation so differently. I see that scenario and have no problem at all with the narrative that tje white woman turned on the water works and somehow orchestrated this whole thing. None at all. It happens to black people all the time. (What pregnant woman rents a bike by the way).

Yet, when black women on this board are trying to present this highly plausible narrative it gets shot down. Does any of you reflect on why that is? Or no?

Keep reaching, and trying to deflect. Men are only one of the groups in society that I and other black women have to worry about. You refusal to accept that doesn't make it not true, it just demonstrates exactly why interactions with unfamiliar white women have to be managed carefully. You are missing a few clichés. You haven't pulled out the black friend card yet. Do you have any more of your gems? I loved the one about women who 'don't complain in the right way' Does that mean that rapists just men who don't ask for sex in the right way?

It's sadly true that black boys and men have a unique set of challenges which differs from black women. It's both depressing and telling that black children still have to have the 'talk' in this day and age.

The "identity politics" and "hyperbole" cards have been played too. Thr former as many times as possible to catch on, as usual.

You cant be a feminist while telling a group of women that what they are experiencing, isn't what they are experiencing.

But that is exactly what has happened to this nurse. Half the world has ganged up to tell her that her account isn’t true. So why are we supposed to defer to the recounted experience of certain people and not others?

Also, why is it ok generalise from specific incidents for certain groups (‘I have experienced some white women having a low threshold for crying, therefore all white women are prone to crying manipulatively’) but not others? As I said above, I have been assaulted by a black service user. Would it be ok for me to generalise about black people as a result? Of course not! Not only would it be racist; it would be mad: one bad incident tells me nothing about black people in general.

Trying to invert prejudice- homophobia, misogyny or, in this case racism - by generalising negatively about the traditionally dominant group, doesn’t work because it reinforces the hierarchy, which ultimately harms the traditionally disadvantaged group.

I see your one black server and raise you 40+ years of white women's tears, bias and attempts to dismiss lived reality. In every setting - education, healthcare, work, leisure, retail, socially and home. For me predominantly women, not men, who are doing the othering. Men cause other significant problems. My experience is not unique, nor is it uniquely black. You can talk identity politics is bollocks or hyperbole till the cows come home but black and white women are likely to experience feminism and the world very differently. The only people harming disadvantaged groups are people like you.

Embarrassed for you that you read this load of drivel and thought, "Yep! So true!"
At no point is he shown on the bike. Do you really think she knocked him off?
As for proof, she's shown her receipt. It is referenced in the first sodding post, and many times throughout the thread. She has proven that she paid for the bike. How many more times?
Why did she tell off her lanyard? Erm, maybe because she was being videoed and had enough experience being a woman to know who would be blamed for this scenario, even if she produced receipts, by people like you.
As for why would a pregnant woman hire a bike...? JFC.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow please remind me where I mentioned all white women? You'll see I never have. Instead I mentioned my lived experiences of being on the receiving end of the infantilisation of "white women tears" put in speech marks to represent a specific type of white woman who weponises her tears to get her way. I think this nurse is that woman.

If you , your friends, your wife, your adult child or any white woman you know is not this woman I'm not talking about you.

@nothingcomestonothing see above re the tears

Thank you @Socrateswasrightaboutvoting . Honestly, I can't (well I can) believe this is being debated when you could ask most non white women who interact with white women if they've experienced this weaponised tears and a large majority would say yes

Thank you @HypocrisyRules . You actually read my posts unlike a lot of others who just decided to insult me for daring not to agree with the nurse position

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow you are causing distraction and spiralling. This thread is about the nurse. Not about all the injustices faced by women ever.

This, thank you. Typical attempts to imply the superiority, rationality, and higher level thinking of the 'we dont see colour' group. Dismiss, deny, and they cry... Not all white women, just enough to require caution to be taken with all white women you don't know or who have outted themselves.

She probably took off her lanyard because they are a safety risk in a potentially violent situation. Many HCPs have had people try to strangle them with their lanyard. Modern lanyards have a circuit break point, which reduces the risk but does not eliminate it, if an assailant applies enough tension.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow you are causing distraction and spiralling. This thread is about the nurse. Not about all the injustices faced by women ever.

And yet you and a few others are making wild generalisations about the nurse and her ‘white women’s tears’, despite knowing nothing about her, and in the teeth of mounting evidence that she is telling the truth.

Thread like this demonstrate how far there is to go.

So now she felt so threatened by these black then, that she removed her lanyard to avoid being strangled?
Are.you.for.real?

But she IS white. And she IS a woman. And she WAS crying. So she had white woman tears. No? She was not a black woman crying? Nor was she a white woman laughing? 🤷‍♀️

You saw a video of a group of young men, and a lone woman, and assumed the woman was at fault. And now there's some evidence that she wasn't at fault, it's her fault for reacting as she did. Is that feminism, to you?

Okay @MissLucyEyelesbarrow riddle me this....

If the males were the aggressors why did they record the footage? Why didn't they push the nurse over and just take the bike?
Why is her leg still on the bike (presumably if you'd just been pushed off a bike that you were seated on while pregnant you'd stay off you wouldn't risk your child £1k find or not).

Also if she booked the bike and the males didn't where is her evidence for the double charge? As we can see the bike remained with the males.

Can you really not see the holes in the nurses stance?

Oh the irony!
You saw a white woman and a group of black men and made the assumption the black men were at fault.
To me, that is a bigger problem.

@Lndnmummy let's also remember the tears stopped pretty instantaneously.
All the videos show this yet @MissLucyEyelesbarrow conveniently overlooks this..

Actually, my first post was addressing a dismissive post about the phenomenon of 'white women's tears, which are as much a problem for black women as black men. Recognising that white tears often lead to brown scars (Ruby Hamid) is relevant to understanding why some posters may view the nurse's behaviour and motivations differently. You diverted the conversation, with problematic cliche, after problematic cliche, seasoned with attempts to display your genteel nature, intellect, critical thinking skills and superiority - middle aged white women who don't complain in the right way, UN, OECD, developed countries Identity Politics, Men, blah,blah, blah Oh! And the cherry on the cake one black,drug using, server... How gracious of you to not let that interaction colour your opinion of all black women. Your compassion shows no bounds. All I have a lived experience gained though decades of interations with white women and feminists in positions of power both in formal and non formal settings. This is not unique to me but rather shared by countless non white women who have also repeatedly been on the receiving end of 'white women's tears'. So yeah, men are a problem for black feminists but so are some white women.

@Socrateswasrightaboutvoting thank you for explaining so well . Unfortunately there will still be those who still try to ignore your points

I know, I should just roll my eyes and keep scrollng. You can lead a horse to water... Honestly, the only thing missing was 'I have black friends'.

No I saw a woman and a group of men. I assumed that a single woman was probably not the aggressor against a group of men. How likely is it that one woman would try to steal from a group of men??

I assumed the men were the aggressors, based both on the much prized 'lived experience' and y'know, statistical likelihood. If the group of men had been white, or Chinese, or Pakistani, would that have made a difference? No, I'd have assumed the same.

Some women cry when they feel frustrated, scared, emotional. Some women don't. We are not all wired the same way in our response to stressful situations. Maybe some men would like to cry but have been socialised not to (big boys don't cry etc). Women have many disadvantages in life but we are not discouraged from crying as kids if we are upset, or judged as much as men if we cry as adults. If someone is expressing their natural emotions, it's a bit harsh to assume they are weaponising them.

Tbh, I've never seen a British woman cry as a deliberate attempt to get their own way. The women I know would be more inclined to punch someone than burst into tears. I'm not saying it never happens cos individuals, but I don't believe this is a widespread problem.
Women crying is by no means as big a deal as men mugging, raping and murdering women. Or getting into violent fights with other men.