What advice would you give a younger woman?

[mumyes]

Just that really.
What do you wish you'd done or known as a woman on your 30s / 40s?

learn to say no without apology or explanation.

Watch out for men who no matter how clear or unambiguous aren't listening to you 'no' but are just waiting for their next turn to speak to try another attempt at manipulation

To understand men are not an enemy.
And to be weary of women who think this.

Keep fit and healthy

Pay into a pension

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and cut out those that are toxic

Don't settle.
Don't let anyone prevent you from doing what you want to do while you are still young enough to enjoy it.

Also I was given this sage and accurate advice....Men can't read your mind.So don't be upset when you don't properly communicate with your husband.

That actually sounds like how women treat situations.
If a man or woman (friend) treat you this way.. Run and don't look back or apologize for protecting yourself.

There will always be a massive queue of people telling you to change this or that about yourself. Dangling the carrot of acceptance that never materialises. Find the people who don't do this.

Never allow yourself to become dependent on a man for anything.

1. Don't downgrade your career for a man
2. Don't move in with a man and let go of your emotional & financial independence
3. Don't have a baby within the first 2 years of a relationship
4. Get married before having children to secure your rights & access to pension financial security and death benefits
5. Be as educated and as skilled as you can be.
6. Familiarise yourself with contraception that works for you and don't have sex without a condom. Undiagnosed STIs can cause infertility later on in life.

Great advice...

@Mymomsbetterthanyomom - I'm intrigued by your comment...can I ask you to elaborate?

I am not that poster but would like to remind readers that no, men are not the enemy but they do in the Uk murder women, commit femicide, at slightly more than 2 per week at the moment. I can see why someone might be weary of hearing these stats, it is tiring I agree.

kareningalasmith.com/category/counting-dead-women/ Counting dead women website.

www.femicidecensus.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Femicide-Census-10-year-report.pdf the femicide census.

This, with bells on.

My advice would be to get married before having children. And don't give up work after.
It is okay to say No that doesn't suit me.
Your time is as valuable as the next person's - so frozen mash nowadays is pretty good stuff, if you get the stuff that is just potato, butter, pepper. YUM.

Do not even think about having a child with a man unless you are financially, emotionally, psychologically and physically prepared to raise him/her alone.

If you are in a bad situation change it .
Financial security is so so important

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Do not enter into anything without the financial security to do so.

This ESPECIALLY means kids! Yes, I know he's amazing and I know you're in love and I know it feels like the right time... but what's another year or two? Build up ten thousand or so and you'll be grateful you have a fallback.

Always maintain your financial independence.
If you absolutely must have children, have no more than 2.

Don't become seriously involved with a man if his parents are an overbearing nightmare and he is still trying to please them.

Go back to work after having children and maintain financial independence. Don't rely on being married as cast iron insurance if the shit hits the fan.

Stand alone. Always.
Even within a relationship, even 20 years into that relationship. Stand alone.

Stand alone financially, stand alone with your career, forge ahead with both regardless of relationship.

Dont consider kids until at least 3 years into a relationship. Be 100% secure with your decision.

Also, be your own top priority.
Put yourself first and never apologise for it.

We’re on feminist site and the main assumption / advice is op/women want / about men (not to mention comments pander to men) and kids?

Maybe this board should have more faith in women?

Or maybe lots of women on this board are feminists through firsthand experience with men and would warn their younger selves of these things.

When choosing a life partner think with your head as well as your fanny. You need to fancy him (or her) but it is equally important that they have the right qualities to be at your side through children, job losses, bereavements, etc.

Always maintain your financial independence, be there because you want to be, not because you have to be.

Self-care should be your number one priority, look after yourself before you look after anyone else.

No is a complete sentence.