Amber Heard&Johnny Depp post verdict

[Miscfeminista]

Continuation of previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/feminism/4560089-amber-heardjohnny-depp-verdict?page=1

and the one before(during trial):

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4552076-amber-heardjohnny-depp-trial?page=36&reply=117586863

Also, refresher on DV:

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/recognising-domestic-abuse/

Ada
My DH and my DB, both in abusive relationships. Are they wrong, me as well. Or you? M
I'm one person who has experienced abuse myself plus two men in my life. Neither went to the police with their injuries or abuse.

Experiencing male abuse myself I'm not biased by any stretch of the imagination.

Where do you place me?

Let me tell you about my DB. On the outside, amazing relationship, she was beautiful, lovely person.

He rang me one day with a scratched cut up face. He was scared and crying. She'd also punched him. He didn't know what to do as on the outside she's the loveliest person ever. I thought so too until he rang me.

Do you know what he did? In her house with the newspaper she had delivered IN HER HOUSE he looked at page 3. Yes the shitty sun. Except he didn't but god forbid he flicked through the pages.

She then beat him for looking. Her paper, delivered to her house.

He never reported her for that. He told me though.

Having been subjected to such twattery myself by abusers , I told him. You either leave that bitch (sorry I did say that) or I will go and speak to her myself. He left her. She messaged me trying to make out all sorts of shit. Fuck off.

Pity no one ever has done that to Amber, except now.

Good. Poisonous woman.

You know what my DB said "no one will believe me, I don't know what to do"

My brother is one of the kindest, loveliest men you could meet. I'm his big sister I grew up with him and bossed him about.

Truth is, some, not most, but some women are shit.

And I meant what I said. I said you tell her im coming round to talk. She knew what kind of person I am.

She declined that invitation

Can't think why

Anyway she's not said shit about my brother since.

However, he has never got over it fully.

Sorry for multiple posts. You see I'm a DV survivor me self, as is my DH and DB

In not firing out of my arse my feelings and opinions.

I DONT BELIEVE AMBER HEARD. Notwithstanding the evidence produced in the trial

And it's nothing to do with sex/agenda, abusers are abusers. In my life I've experienced both.

I am absolutely convinced not only through my own experience from both sides, but also putting that aside and looking at ALL the evidence (which a lot of you haven't)

Amber Heard is the abuser and she's a liar.

So you see. And I'm really pissed off at some of the comments I've got Back, like I'm thick.

I've endured years of male abuse myself but I'm not so bitter I can't see the wood for the trees hence my DH and by DB.

Have I killed the thread? 😂 I've just eaten nearly a whole tub of salted caramel ice cream after cauliflower cheese and chips!

I don't think anyone is saying that, but there are other people who don't agree with you and you seem to struggle to accept that. Not that every other poster on this thread is being totally evenhanded but it doesn't help when you just keep repeating how awful Amber Heard is.

Everyone has different experiences, sadly for many people that includes abusive relationships. What do you say to the people who have also been victims and see Amber as the victim? Are their 'spidey senses' just malfunctioning? What about people who simply think it's a complex situation and the results of this trial are bad news for anyone who wants to be able to speak out about their experiences?

Ah, well as “not guilty” is a trial verdict, surely you can see your shorthand is misleading? I think it does matter significantly whether a rape case actually makes it to trial or not.

I logically and intellectually accept that it is possible there are more men getting away with rape than there are men falsely accused of rape. My emotions/gut say it’s probably true, but I have my own bias having been a victim that is probably causing those emotions. Stripping all emotion away, the facts are that the number of both are unknowns. So it’s really all guesswork when we just do not and cannot know for sure.

I don't struggle to accept anyone else's opinion. I've tried so hard on here to be nuanced but it's the others that absolutely won't accept mine. I've put on her multiple times my own experience and been shot down now ive just added more experiences Ive kept back, which I've held back but I've been pushed now to put it out there.

I suppose it doesn't matter as it's anonymous on here.

@TiddyTidTwo

Im really sorry you, your DH and DB have all suffered DV from abusive partners. You haven’t killed the thread. The JD and AH trial has been very divisive as their relationship was clearly toxic and a very complex mess. It’s no wonder that many of us have drifted to supporting JD and others to supporting AH when two trials in two separated courts couldnt even agree on who was the primary abuser in the relationship! The conflict on this thread is reflected in the contradictory verdicts of US and U.K. courts. For myself, I feel we are no nearer the truth than we were five years ago.

Thank you discover. I would share my ice cream with you. But I ate it all 🥺

Ooff my posts are being reported and deleted again.

Not sure what I said was so offensive but hey ho

I logically and intellectually accept that it is possible there are more men getting away with rape than there are men falsely accused of rape. My emotions/gut say it’s probably true, but I have my own bias having been a victim that is probably causing those emotions. Stripping all emotion away, the facts are that the number of both are unknowns. So it’s really all guesswork when we just do not and cannot know for sure.
The only way it can be true there are more men falsely accused of rape than rapists walking free is if 50% or more of allegations are made up. Given 99% don't result in charge.

It's beyond credulity to think 50% of reported rapes are lies, surely? I mean, that really would be the thought process of someone who has deep seated issues with women

Unfortunately your experience is totally irrelevant as to whether AH is a liar.

My ex was abusive, I recognise a lot of his behaviour in JD actions. If I say that though, you would say I'm a blind amber heard supporter and she's a liar. Not much nuance there is there.

Adam

Absolutely not.

Your experience is just a valid as mine

However Adam I accept JD isn't perfect.

It's a bit suspect that gofundme has shut down the page supporting AH, from a witch-hunt point of view. I wonder what the pretext was

I also accept AH isn't perfect.
I don't think anyone deserves to be abused, regardless of if they are a liar or unlikeable.
I think its outrageous a woman has to pay so much money to a rich, powerful man for talking about her own perspectives
And I think it has been a masterclass to abusive men in how to shut up your victims. Awful.

Anyway - what do you think about this? Is Whitney a liar too?

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-10889777/Amber-Heards-sister-Whitney-shares-supportive-message-star.html

"Is Whitney a liar too?"

Yes. But nuance;

She's also been subject to her sisters abuse for years

I feel sorry for her

"I think its outrageous a woman has to pay so much money to a rich, powerful man for talking about her own perspectives"

Dont lie under oath then

And she's had the power for the last 6 years. He was cancelled.

I don't live and die by patriarchial troths just because I'm a woman. He suffered, she didn't.

Hope you're ok Tiddy, x

That's how it gets us all, high emotions.

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. Men arr wired differently on the whole and do react with violence to harsh words more than women do. There's an argument to be had that women are socialised into physical meekness, but the jury's out on that one.
I've been the victim of all manner of abuses by both sees, and you know the easiest one to deal with? Getting beaten by a bloke because a) it's tangible, easy to articulate and socially recognised as a crime

Coming in near the top, being at the receiving end of the gaslighting and bullying by people in certain professions , people with social authority. Both male and female bullies and misogynist s gravitate to this and are legitimised by society . As these people tend to be (albeit sometimes just a bit) educated and can chanel their bullying traits in this socially acceptable way, they might be less likely to lash out the way the typical wife beater might do.

This could be why JD is seen as a hero scapegoat, even to the extent of people not caring if he has been violent. He's so far removed from the ilk of people I described in my second paragraph. His drug and alcohol issues obviously add to this image of him being outside society , usually associated with society's most vulnerable