Anyone here who has opt oit having men in their lives?

I'm a lesbian so don't date men anyway but have had quite a few abusive friendships with men over the years so for the most part men aren't really a part of my life anymore

I was wondering about this, and why I'm averse to socialising with men now.

I pondered that a men seem to do well out of relationships, and for a single man a relationship with any woman generally improves their lives. There's no downside to 'settling'. For women, the opposite seems to be true. The right man may well improve their life, but far too many settle for a man who makes their life worse. Thus I tend to see single men as predatory, and am reluctant to socialise with them.

Yeah, I don't bother with men at all anymore.
A lot of them get way more than they give.

Haven't had a boyfriend since I was widowed 15 years ago. I've managed alright, and raised a child to near-adulthood on my own. I don't know any single men and am still reluctant to do online dating. Some people think I'm a saddo, but I quite enjoy being independent. I think some people are threatened by women who choose to go it alone 😋

I completely agree with you. What would be the advantage for me, can't think of any (apart from the obvious!).

I'm seriously considering it. Never really thought of it as an option, I suppose because we're conditioned to enter into that sort of relationship. At least my generation were. But my daughter's response to some women suggesting how I might get to meet a new man after a marriage break-up was to vehemently exclaim: 'she doesn't need a man!'. Love her for that!

I don’t feel I need a man but I do enjoy sex so I don’t think I could remove them completely from my life. I have been single for 6 years and I don’t feel I need a relationship as sun h but I would like a FB.

I hate the way people assume because your single you are looking for a man, none of us need a man to be complete, we can manage to do almost all things without them.

WGTOW 😀

Two failed marriages- one with an abuser who sexually abused our daughter. I’m as done with men as you’ll ever get.
I can still love and value the men in my life and acknowledge that most men I cross paths with appear to be kind. But if you’re male, just don’t share my home/food/bed/Netflix, keep a barge pole’s distance away from my children and me, and we’re cool. 😁

Just my elderly Dad and adult DS now.
I honestly can not be bothered any more. As I get older it just reinforces my opinion they're vastly overrated and far too much hassle.
The risk - reward ratio is bobbar.
I wish I could be a lesbian.

Thing is you're judging that from a woman's point of view, so of course it's going to seem that way. But a large number of men say exactly the same thing the other way around. So it's probably more accurate just to conclude that there are massive differences, in general terms, between how men and women see things and what they want out of relationships; that it's really hard to make relationships work with the opposite sex and many people (of both sexes) would be happier without them.

I think the OP makes a lot of sense. It's a cost:benefit calculation, for each individual I suppose.

Oh lord, you're so right!

l do not label myself as a feminist , l stand for equality for all, but l have chosen to live alone the past 9 yrs since my husband died. l am not anti men, l enjoy mens company, but this way of life suits me and my two older teenagers. Even if l date l have no desire to share my home, maybe its the stage of life l am at, but l find it so freeing after years of being a wife and Mother to have my own space, routine and way of doing things. l feel secure and self sufficient knowing l am physically and emotionally independant and accountable to no one.

I decided not to date again but unfortunately I ran into men I liked at work since there were mostly men there. I was fooled into mentally abusive relationships twice more, by men who acted nice in public.

All it took was to run into a man who was single, seemed sweet, highly intelligent, we had strong chemistry, and showed an interest in me.

Now I have a good guy but we have all kinds of incompatibilities - his libido is much higher than mine but mine is low because I'm not feeling the romance and intimacy I need in order to want sex.
He drags me down with negativity sometimes, too.
Even a lot of good men aren't relationship material.We see each other on weekends only and barely communicate during the week. It's the happiest relationship I've ever had.
I'm cutting men out of most of my life but one in the background is nice.

It's not a new thing. It's called feminist separatism/womens separatism. It was a big thing in the 80's.

It really bugs me when feminists can't be bothered to learn their history

I’m a lesbian so no having to date or be in a relationship with men, but yes the only men I associate with outside of work are family members and my best friend’s husband. It wasn’t a conscious decision, I’ve had male friends in the past (they usually always had ulterior motives), I just generally do not enjoy the company of most men.

Well, this is the OP learning about a particular aspect of feminism.

I’m cast-iron certain you don’t know everything about the history of feminism, either.

I'm a woman separatist! Really really have not a single ounce of energy to give to another relationship with a male . Except for a few gay male friends and my DS I'm completely free from men in my life and don't have the constant drain of being a support human to a man. And I love it 😉

I defo couldn't cut men out of my life. I've got too high a sex drive and also like the feeling of closeness to somebody which you get with the right person. It'd be depressing to not have somebody there to confide in and support each other.

I'm attracted to some women but I'm sure I've read that statistically lesbian relationships are more likely to be violent, so I'm not sure that'd really even be a solution. Not that I have any issues as is however. Anecdotally, a high proportion of the lesbians I've known have been quite angry types, but all the ones I've known reasonably well have been masculine/butch presenting so maybe it's a particular disposition.

WGTOW 😂

I have made a similar choice.

I am mid 30s. I am a heterosexual woman. I am a virgin. I have never had an intimate relationship, or any type of romantic relationship with a man.

I went to University, built a professional career, built my first house, sold that, bought a second house. I'm a manager of a large team of professionals in the financial services industry. I had a DD 3 years ago using donor sperm.

I love my life, I don't answer to anybody, and I have everything I want, a professional career, a nice home, a beautiful child, 2 cats and a rabbit. I don't have any male friends right now, though I have in the past. I don't rely on men for anything, if I need work done on my house or car, I either pay someone or do it myself.

That said, I know there are good men out there, I work with a few, and some of my friends partners are nice blokes. I don't hate men, I just dont need them to make me happy.

I have no need for men in any way. The only men I have contact with are my current male bosses.

I’m not yet a home owner and people keep telling me I “need a man to get a mortgage”; it may be a long wait then, as I do not want or need a man. They are not welcome.

I'm sure I've read that statistically lesbian relationships are more likely to be violent,

There's just no possible way that can be true

It is considered to be statistically true though. I don't know why.

Apparently married men live longer, but being married to a man shortens women's lives. I know this isn't about marriage but still, probably best to keep a healthy distance 😬