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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

Anyone here who has opt oit having men in their lives?

142 replies

YouAreNotBatman · 03/05/2022 08:52

I was reading about South Korean radfems who don’t date, have sex, marry or have children with men.

They sounded really cool.

It made me wonder if there are other women/feminist who have made similar choice?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/07/2022 15:42

@felulageller can I ask why you're with your partner still and if you think your dislike of men influences your son's either positively or negatively?

as I believe having a family is the only thing that can bring genuine purpose to one's life in the long run dear lord I'm married with three kids and even I want to vomit all over that comment.

Bun1 · 31/07/2022 18:39

Adelishious · 26/07/2022 10:58

I think most of the shitty partner threads would have equally bad mirror arguments to make were they to post their grievances on a board.

I do the majority of the housework, which is reasonable as DH works more hours and earns more money. Its not unreasonable of him therefore to expect me to cook, clean and give childcare. I'd expect most women woukd choose to do the most childcare anyway. Who doesn't appreciate as much time as possible to spend raising their children. Fucks sake, I see that as a luxury!

Show quote history

Omg, serious incel, men’s rights activist vibes coming off you. Only men’s rights activists blather on about “lack of male role models”. Christ. You’re clearly a man posing as a woman here. If you think women struggle to maintain healthy relationships due to a lack of male role models growing up, expect a man to be thinner than them, earn more and do all the chores....hahaha!...and think shitty partners are as likely to be women as men, you’re clearly a fantasist....and male.

Bun1 · 31/07/2022 19:12

I don’t have any men in my life except my father. I have no need for them. I find them to be for the most part, mansplainers, manipulators, abusers and gas lighters. I don’t take kindly to being abused so I don’t bother dating. Would never marry, never live with a man and don’t want children.

Goforitnow · 03/08/2022 09:49

I've met 3 gentlemen in my life. Two were gay, the other l suspect closet gay. So they were only interested in me as a person. Not deep and meaningful relationships, but the only men who didn't perv at least once. Currently on a train consciously ignoring a dickhead. I think men minds are so addled with porn today, that if a woman glances at them, they think it means sex. A couple of years ago, it was if you were polite. Now the only hope of non harrasment is ignoring the jing bang lot of em.

felulageller · 03/08/2022 10:34

Lol at it being a 'luxury' to spend as much time as possible with DC's!

You need to get out more.

Luxury is child free time!

DandelionSoup · 03/08/2022 21:51

SexyLittleNosferatu · 27/07/2022 08:48

It's an interesting question for sure. I don't have any men in my life other than my husband as my Dad is no longer with us. If I was to divorce my husband I know for certain that I wouldn't want another relationship with a man. I just don't see what they bring to the table to be honest.

The poster Adelishious is on another thread telling a victim of strangulation that her husband strangled her and she deserved it and was lucky to have been controlled. I really wouldn't respond to anything they have to say.

I've reported that account. Ridiculous 🙄

90redbaloons · 26/08/2022 19:52

Me but I'm a lesbian anyway so it's not too hard. I have 1 or 2 male friends but that's about it

EsmeShelby · 07/09/2022 23:44

I have a partner, but if I misplaced him, I would not look for another relationship. I'm too old to compromise.

LemonDrop22 · 10/09/2022 10:04

Adelishious · 27/07/2022 17:44

You sound very controlling @Maddogsandtoplessenglishmen to be telling strangers where they should go, who they should see and what major family decisions they 'need' to make, based on a sentence worth of personal info.

It's so controlling in general to hear some of the posters on here thinking they know best, but I'll assume it gives them a sense of purpose, however useless their advice is to others.

The truth, on the other hand is that if anyone was abusive during that time in our marriage it was me, I don't think a single person who knew both of us back then would claim otherwise. I would have loved to hear back then the kind of advice I've got here, as I was angry, and when I would have an episode it would wind me up how calm and nonchalant DH's behaviour was as nothing seemed to affect him negatively. He always seemed to have it easy & everybody loved him and at these times I'd get resentful of that and push him to make him react in I similar way to me, even though it was never in his nature. So I'd assault him, hit him, break his things, and if I got no reaction I'd go further until he reacted. He never punched, hit or kicked me, but when enough was enough he would wrestle me into a hold and squeeze until I passed out. When coming to after passing out like that all you feel is lethargy and confusion, too tired to argue about what happened.

So no, I wasn't abused, I'm actually very lucky the man I'm with stayed with me to help me work through this troubled time in my life and is why I never rush to think I know best as to what happens in others relationships let alone think I should decide what action they 'need' to take.

Dear fuck, you need major psychological help.

Oh and the correct thing for your h ymndknhf you were abusing him was LEAVE.

Not choke you until you passed out.

I dont think I've heard anything more fucked up on this forum, and that's saying something.

LemonDrop22 · 10/09/2022 10:07

Also you need/ed to leave as a matter of urgency if your mh was such that you were assaulting etc your partner.

You need to separate.

You are both violent.

His violence has more capacity for serious injury or death though.

What you have described is beyond fucked up, once - let alone more than once.

LemonDrop22 · 10/09/2022 10:11

but when enough was enough he would wrestle me into a hold and squeeze until I passed out.

That would be dangerous if a medical professional or military professional, did it.

He should never ever have been doing that, he should have left and you should have gotten professional help.

You weren t lucky he stayed. It was/is completely dysfunctional and potentially very dangerous.

Do you have kids in the house potentially hearing or witnessing that?

Do you have kids who'd have lost their Mum if he misjudged choking you til you passed out?

comfortablyfrumpy · 10/09/2022 10:12

Divorced, and I certainly won't bother again.

Lookingoutside · 10/09/2022 22:20

Men are for sex and dates in my life.

My important relationships are with family and female friends.

Scottishtizzler · 16/09/2022 07:59

I’m probably one of them as far as never having another relationship goes. The levels of stress and upset that comes with relationships isn’t outweighed by any benefits from it, so impractical terms, definitely not for me or my life. I have male friends, acquaintances and colleagues but I’m very wary and consciously not having men in my life otherwise.

Handyweatherstation · 16/09/2022 18:27

I live with a man and we get on very well, but he's very different from any other man I've known, maybe because he was brought up by his mother and grandmother and they stood no nonsense. If we were to separate or he died first, I've told him I don't want another relationship. Not that I don't enjoy ours, I do very much, but the thought of doing it all again is not in my plans. Ideally, I'd find another like-minded woman to live with, but we'll see.

This says a lot: Older women don't want to live with their male partners

ReadtheReviews · 16/09/2022 18:30

I have children with one and he's a lovely dad. Other than that, nout! Not at all bothered.
Perhaps when I'm 50 I'll meet a Che Guevara type in Cuba, but it's a very remote chance! 😄

Handyweatherstation · 16/09/2022 18:36

Just thinking back. I went to boarding school from 10-13 and it was all girls. When I left and went to a mixed state school I was appalled by the boys and thought they were the most despicable creatures I'd ever come across. They were vulgar, crass and thoroughly nasty. I still feel that way about most men.

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