Anyone here who has opt oit having men in their lives?

[YouAreNotBatman]

I was reading about South Korean radfems who don’t date, have sex, marry or have children with men.

They sounded really cool.

It made me wonder if there are other women/feminist who have made similar choice?

[ClockTooFast]

Two disastrous, violent marriages, mid 50s, mid teens son and three daughters. My boy is the only male in my life. I am happier than I've ever been and genuinely cannot see me ever being in another relationship again. And I'm very content with that situation

[DandelionSoup]

I'm in my late 30s and now I've finished having children I just don't want to be involved with men anymore, so I'm not!

[jaffacakesareepic]

@Fifteentoes

Thing is you're judging that from a woman's point of view, so of course it's going to seem that way. But a large number of men say exactly the same thing the other way around. So it's probably more accurate just to conclude that there are massive differences, in general terms, between how men and women see things and what they want out of relationships; that it's really hard to make relationships work with the opposite sex and many people (of both sexes) would be happier without them.

I think the OP makes a lot of sense. It's a cost:benefit calculation, for each individual I suppose.

Given married men live longer than single men, and married women live shorter than single women I feel like as a whole the data supports the womens viewpoint in this, although of course individual relationships may buck the trend

[deydododatdodontdeydo]

Nah, not for me, though I feel it wouldn't be too difficult if I wanted to.
My goal is to cut unpleasant, nasty, lying deceitful people out of my life, and it's not just men who are like that.

[BoDerek]

I think it just happens naturally if you have high standards 😂

I mean, I just had a wonderful conversation with an indigenous professor but on the whole I don’t find men to be either of any use or interest.

I think we have incredibly low standards for men.

During the play date years it would be the mothers doing the arranging and the thanking while the dads, if ever they lowered themselves to be involved, would stand at the door looking gormless and generally of the attitude that I was a mere service provider. It was always the dads who were late or no shows or who didn’t offer any thanks.

When I give stuff away online, hhe grabby messages are from the men. When can I get this? Where are you? While the women without exception do a hi, hello I’m really keen if that is still available thank you so much.

Men are so rude. I always discriminate in favour of women and POC.

[ChiswickFlo]

This is interesting.
I'm - for the most part - happily married but...oh, the thought of living alone makes me so happy!
2 sons who are great but who obviously need a lot of my time.
Apart from them, my late dad and my fil I don't have a lot of time for men generally.
I volunteer with a group of entitled misogynistic arseholes and I delight in pointing out when they are wrong annoying them :)
I'd never, ever re marry.

[Smileandactlikeitsfine]

I think it's a great idea. My husband is the only man I don't hate. If that changes or he dies, I can guarantee I'll never shag another man again. I like women much more 😊

[SenselessUbiquity]

I don't think I'll ever make a male friend again. If someone I like brings their husband along I will tolerate him but I usually suggest things without them. They are just not as clever or interesting as women. they set themselves a much lower bar for something being worth saying and then dominate the airspace with tired worn out opinions pinched from the radio or tv.

[Deliriumoftheendless]

I don’t want to lose my male friends. My best friend is a man and I like him. I enjoy hanging out with male and female friends.

but I have no sons, father or brothers so I don’t have to think about that. I’m nearly 50 and I have a child and a home and a job and the menopause and a relationship is not something I’m interested in. I have my life as I want it (as far as finances allow, I can’t give up work and do what I want, of course) I don’t want to date or get to know someone so yes, on that level I’m done with men.

[Lightning020]

I have lived with four men over the years. At best they offer us a second income plus free gardening and diy. I only need them for casual sex so I sleep with single men now and again. No involvement needed nor craved whatsiever.

For gardening and di y I pay for a gardener spring summer months only and an occasional handyman twice a year.

All my friends who have partners have had to really overcompromisr to maintain their relationships. They give way more than they get back.

It makes life a fair bit more expensive but I really do love the peace and quiet and simplicity. Especially now ds is 17. Me time and solitude rock.

[moofolk]

Separatism as much as possible is the way to go

[Girliefriendlikespuppies]

I've never bothered, I'm 43yo and had a couple of short term boyfriends (the longest being 8 months) I've always finished the relationships as they start to drive me mad.

I have a teen dd who I've raised on my own since conception.

I've been completely single now for around 8 years.

I honestly can't ever see me bothering with men again.

[EmmaH2022]

OP I think you are describing me from the age of 35 ish.

never wanted marriage or kids though. Took me a while to realise that relationships don't provide anything I want or need.

recently wrote off the possibility of male friends. Not that I had many in the past. I'm not a man fan, I guess.

[Oestrogelsmuggler]

I'm attracted to some women but I'm sure I've read that statistically lesbian relationships are more likely to be violent, so I'm not sure that'd really even be a solution. Not that I have any issues as is however. Anecdotally, a high proportion of the lesbians I've known have been quite angry types, but all the ones I've known reasonably well have been masculine/butch presenting so maybe it's a particular disposition.

This sounds like bullshit to me, but I'd be happy to read any evidence you have.

I'm a lesbian and have no need for men in my life. It is really freeing. That said, I'm a weirdo in that most of my best friends are male. I take men on a case by case basis. 🙂

[garfieldfan22]

Yep but I'm a lesbian so not likely to be having relationships with men anyway. Did have an amazing male friend but he died a few years back, any other friendships I've had have never really worked out.

[PutTheFruitInMyBellender]

@Moonface123

l do not label myself as a feminist , l stand for equality for all, but l have chosen to live alone the past 9 yrs since my husband died. l am not anti men, l enjoy mens company, but this way of life suits me and my two older teenagers. Even if l date l have no desire to share my home, maybe its the stage of life l am at, but l find it so freeing after years of being a wife and Mother to have my own space, routine and way of doing things. l feel secure and self sufficient knowing l am physically and emotionally independant and accountable to no one.

^^ This!

[Adelishious]

I feel sad reading this post. I'm very understanding of the women in this position but can't help thinking this is a societal issue that will inevitably be faced more and more as the breakdown of families ensues. I can't help but feel many women are in a situation where they grow up with no male role models and therefore struggle to maintain healthy lasting relationships as they progress through life. We know that the children of parents who remained together are most likely to have successful marriages as adults and so on. There are so many women (and men) that simply don't have the cabability to maintain a healthy relationship as they aren't aware of the sacrifices required in order to do this. I can't help but feel this will have an overall negative affect on future generations and have to idea what the solution is.

[Lightning020]

I for the most part do not crave a man's company but I do have 3 men friends who are platonic and I enjoy their friendships. I see no need for a man apart from free diy and decorating and somebody to socialise with now and again. That said I may go into business with one of these men friends as my work is not bringing in enough to live on.

Even sex I am no longer into since the menopause! Being in one's late fifties certainly has advantages.

[YouAreNotBatman]

@Adelishious
Don’t feel sad, at least not for me.
I don’t think having a relationship (or kids) is necessity or the ”healthy” thing to do.

And honestly, you whole post came off as really
conventional and condescending.
But not everyone’s biggest purpose is to be married and have kids.
There’s nothing unhealthy about that.

[Adelishious]

I tend to disagree on the whole that having a relationship is not the healthy thing to do. We are social animals and it is beneficial in many ways to have a relationship and we know that in general children from single parents are worse off than those with 2 parents.
It may be the case there are some that have opted to go the career route instead of having kids, but I think this will be a regret in later life as I believe having a family is the only thing that can bring genuine purpose to one's life in the long run.

[YouAreNotBatman]

Social animal, perhaps, but it doesn’t mean we all have to have a partner.
Friends, relatives, pets etc. are all social engaments.

And like I said, you sounded very convetional and now you said it.
I’m not traditional at all, I believe in going forwards and making your own path in life.
So, obviosly this is not something I’ll regret.

[Lightning020]

To think we can never feel complete without a man by our side does sound very out of date. Plenty of women prefer their independence these days. In addition there are many women who just have a relationship part time. No moving in.

[Adelishious]

@YouAreNotBatman

Social animal, perhaps, but it doesn’t mean we all have to have a partner.
Friends, relatives, pets etc. are all social engaments.

And like I said, you sounded very convetional and now you said it.
I’m not traditional at all, I believe in going forwards and making your own path in life.
So, obviosly this is not something I’ll regret.

I think that will depend on your age. Fair enough if you are say, 50 plus. We're you to be in your early 20s however I would have to chuckle as you have a long time ahead to change your mind and outlook.

[Happygirl79]

@Moonface123

l do not label myself as a feminist , l stand for equality for all, but l have chosen to live alone the past 9 yrs since my husband died. l am not anti men, l enjoy mens company, but this way of life suits me and my two older teenagers. Even if l date l have no desire to share my home, maybe its the stage of life l am at, but l find it so freeing after years of being a wife and Mother to have my own space, routine and way of doing things. l feel secure and self sufficient knowing l am physically and emotionally independant and accountable to no one.

This.With bells on

[Happygirl79]

Living alone is so freeing.
I don't need a man I my life
Nor do I want one