Feminism: chat
Men who pay for sex workers
Anon778833 · 13/04/2022 21:44
Is it ever a one off? I think not. Whenever men I know describe having paid a sex worker, they make it sound like these women just fell on top of them and they didn’t enjoy it which clearly is treating the listener like a fool. In reality it takes a great deal of premeditation to do something like this.
I would say that it’s something that if someone chooses to do once, they will do again.
LifesABotch · 13/04/2022 22:18
Hi, don't know about it being a one-off, I'd imagine that once someone has crossed that line of decency/morality/shame/whatever, something changes. Agree about the premeditation involved. Sickening 
.
You might be interested in this current thread:
To end a friendship due to his use of sex workers? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4527141-To-end-a-friendship-due-to-his-use-of-sex-workers
CherryRipe1 · 13/04/2022 22:31
I think with punters it's mostly a paid for itch to scratch, an addiction or maybe loneliness in some cases? I believe the stats are one in 8 or 10 men pay for sex so it's quite high. Whatever the reason it is dehumanizing for the sex worker male or female.
ringlightisnotflattering · 14/04/2022 01:02
@MondaysChild7 With the way things are going with the cost of living, and after over a decade of austerity policies, and the way disabled people who cannot work, are treated .. the effects of which are weighted heavily on women ..
Then some of us are glad for that 40/50 quid for half an hour so we can pay the bills.
We don't want 'policies' to 'save us from ourselves' - They just put us in more danger whilst you ignore the fact we are telling you this.
We want actual choices. A functioning welfare system. You are so blind to the causes and the poverty that keeps us here.
Give up your lifestyles (even modest lifestyles) and go try live on benefits. Add a disability or two and try to get by. See how quickly prostitution enters your mind to alleviate the endless struggle of trying to make ends meet.
Think of what causes women to enter and stay in the industry and not the fucking punters for once.
(disabled ex sex worker. left 7 years ago. government policies plus cost of living forcing me close to the line of going back)
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 14/04/2022 01:12
I'd imagine there are a lot of men who have an idealised view of what sex with a sex worker will be like, having never actually visited one before, then when they do go there for the first time they realise that either it's nothing remotely as pleasurable as they imagined, or that they can't 'perform' due to it being such an unnatural situation and therefore perceive the entire thing as having been a waste of time and money, or having had the first-hand experience that in itself prompts some further introspection about what has gone on and the possible circumstances surrounding it. So yes, I think there will be a lot of instances of men being turned off by the whole thing having had a sample of it, once they've actually realised that reality doesn't necessarily reflect the notion inside their heads.
Anon778833 · 14/04/2022 01:29
[quote ringlightisnotflattering]@MondaysChild7 With the way things are going with the cost of living, and after over a decade of austerity policies, and the way disabled people who cannot work, are treated .. the effects of which are weighted heavily on women ..
Then some of us are glad for that 40/50 quid for half an hour so we can pay the bills.
We don't want 'policies' to 'save us from ourselves' - They just put us in more danger whilst you ignore the fact we are telling you this.
We want actual choices. A functioning welfare system. You are so blind to the causes and the poverty that keeps us here.
Give up your lifestyles (even modest lifestyles) and go try live on benefits. Add a disability or two and try to get by. See how quickly prostitution enters your mind to alleviate the endless struggle of trying to make ends meet.
Think of what causes women to enter and stay in the industry and not the fucking punters for once.
(disabled ex sex worker. left 7 years ago. government policies plus cost of living forcing me close to the line of going back)[/quote]
Hang on a minute. I'm not the one voting for the Tories and I never have. Before you judge people and assume we know nothing about financial difficulty and disability, I'm suitably versed in both.
This isn't a thread to bash sex workers. It's a thread to bash men who think they can buy women's bodies.
deydododatdodontdeydo · 14/04/2022 12:00
Whenever men I know describe having paid a sex worker, they make it sound like these women just fell on top of them
My only "experience" of sex workers is in places Like Amsterdam and Ghent where there are very overt parlours - girls in windows and such. Not sure about falling on top of them, but they are very much selling themselves and their services to the men.
I can imagine some men might go with the sex workers in this situation as a one off trip with friends, but not otherwise, maybe.
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/04/2022 23:04
Thought experiment following watching the French thing about a male sex worker who had female clients.
When I think about that, hiring a hot, French gigolo, I think 'How pathetic and humiliating and gross to sleep with someone who doesn't want to sleep with you'. If you actually have empathy and consider people to be human just like you, you couldn't. I can't imagine anything less sexy.
And @ringlightisnotflattering I know a few sex workers personally. Of course I'm not judging them or want to make criminals of them. I want more choices for them and for the punters to be criminals.
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/04/2022 23:11
@greasyshoes
Well, if you're ugly, then that's how you have to live, not having anyone who wants to have sex with you. It's the sad truth.
Bollocks. There are ugly, lonely women. I have an plain, lonely friend. She's a delight BTW. She has NEVER been asked out or had a relationship. Where are all these ugly, lonely men who could ask her? Fucking 18 yo sex workers who can't say no, presumably.
M0RVEN · 16/04/2022 23:20
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MrsTerryPratchett · 16/04/2022 23:43
@greasyshoes
Yes, isn't that what I just said? That for us ugly people, there isn't a person who wants to have sex with us?
My point is, the fairly obvious point, that some men think the solution to that is to fuck people who don't want to fuck them. And fucking people who don't want to fuck you, well there's a word for that. They've been trained that instead of finding a nice person who wants a relationship, who might not be thin, 18 and hot, they should rent someone's body. Therefore outing themselves as someone very very ugly on the inside, which is probably what is turning women away.
BTW you were complaining on another thread about someone saying you were mansplaining. I have a feeling that many men who don't look like Idris Elba are also not charming or nice like Idris Elba. I'd sooner shag someone ugly, funny and nice than someone pretty, unfunny and mean.
greasyshoes · 16/04/2022 23:49
They've been trained that instead of finding a nice person who wants a relationship, who might not be thin, 18 and hot, they should rent someone's body. Therefore outing themselves as someone very very ugly on the inside, which is probably what is turning women away.
You misunderstand. There are people who are so ugly, they can't have a relationship with any women. It's not that they're looking for a young 18 year old, it's that there aren't ANY women who want them. I'm sure the same is also true of someone women too.
You are seemingly oblivious to the fact that many sex workers are not young eastern European women. Some are really overweight. Others are not conventionally attractive. Sex workers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, just like normal women do. And yet, these sex workers who would not be conventionally attractive still manage to get plenty of clients.
MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2022 00:03
@greasyshoes are you suggesting that there are men so ugly that no one would ever sleep with them? And that the solution to this, which you agree with, is for them to sleep with prostituted women? Even though, and I want to be clear, you believe them to be so repulsive-looking that no women would voluntarily do it.
For money, you think it's OK for men to have sex that they KNOW no women would have voluntarily?
IME however, it's typically men who are so entitled, and selfish that they don't care. Particularly so they can do things to the women that unpaid women won't consent to.
There's that inconvenient word. Consent. Free and enthusiastic consent.
greasyshoes · 17/04/2022 00:08
are you suggesting that there are men so ugly that no one would ever sleep with them?
No, I'm saying there are men so ugly that no woman would ever sleep with them.
And that the solution to this, which you agree with, is for them to sleep with prostituted women?
I didn't say this, but I understand why people think I said it because the wording in my original post is awful.
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