TW - He’s been charged - very very old thread update

[Backandforthandnow]

Hi all, sorry username change as I haven’t been on here for about a year, can’t remember which one I posted under.

There may be none of you here now who remember, but in 2018 I was the victim of a brutal rape, under the guise of niche, violent and sick BDSM. Which I had no interest in and did not agree to.

Over the time it happened, and the years after you guys were here for me, after having the case rejected on very spurious grounds, evidence lost, the rough sex and silly woman thrown at me constantly someone on here referred me to the Centre For Women’s Justice and I really wish I could remember the username of the member but I was traumatised at the time.

Anyway if there are any who remember, with their enormous support all the way, and that of my local MP I have fought this for 4 years.

This week, after review by the independent CPS body, I finally have the validation I’m not insane, complying to survive was not my fault, being hospitalised with various injuries and having months of physio is not the normal outcome of a date.

They have chosen to charge this man with 6 counts.

I won’t say anymore because I don’t want to give any details that could jeopardise, but I do want to say thank you.

It’s a long road from here to remove this man from the streets he shouldn’t have been on for 4 years and there are no guarantees. But from your support hopefully a tiny change will be made in the system, maybe some lessons will be learned.

So if any of you remember then thank you, thank you for being there during one of the darkest moments of life.

If any of you are seeking a charity to support to help women who have no where else to turn then please consider the CWJ because I can’t repay them for all they have given me in practical legal fights but also in kindness and understanding.

Wow, that sounds terrible about being able to lie. So does only having protection during your testimony. I didn’t know either of those things.

Im so sorry to hear that this has been having over you for so many years now.

@Augend23 is right - you can discuss the case after the case has finished (though for jurors they can’t discuss what went on during verdict discussion! I’m ok re above as we we were dismissed as a jury before having to deliberate!).

💐💐💐💐 after everything you’ve been through, and your amazing strength, wishing you peace ahead and your own space to be.

You have been so incredibly brave to continue to pursue this. So glad he's finally been found guilty. I hope he gets a substantial sentence and you are able to find peace

Thank you for sharing this update. It has been such a long and traumatic journey for you, I am glad the right verdict has been given.

I hope you can take some time now, to be peaceful, to talk, to rage, to do whatever you need to to be ok.

I'm so sorry for what you went through OP but so pleased you persisted and the bastard was found guilty.

I hope the verdict helps you on your path to recovering and rebuilding your life. You did a very brave thing.

CWJ is an awesome organisation. Those women are superheroes.

@Backandforthandnow As others have said, you are now able to discuss the offences and the trail without any problem. I think the main reason why you were told not to do so during the trail itself was because of the danger that if other witnesses overheard you, then their own testimony might be influenced by what they heard. (Obviously, don't know if there were other witness, but it's a standard default instruction given to all witnesses).

I’d love to discuss this point as there are a few elements of the first trial that really mess with my head and this is one of them.

The defence team would typically file a defence statment into Court proceedings but I don't know if you as a witness would have access to this. From what you have written, it seems as if his defence centred around it not having been rape because you consented. ** Is this the lie that you were talking about ?

** Obviouly not to any of the violent BDSM acts, as there is no legal defence of consent to that.

Also, what does CWJ do in helping you? Do they get prosecution and defence documents disclosed to them and do they give legal advice?

Hope you are recovering well after your ordeal.

I remember your earlier threads. I salute your bravery and courage on going through a retrial. Thank you for taking this predator off the streets, I hope the sentence he receives is epically long.

I wish you all the joy and healing under the sun.

He got 16 years. A man who the police told me was my own fault, this sentence shows exactly how wrong they were. Sorry it’s taken me a while to re-balance post case and I’m still not quite there. I want to rage but I also want to change things. I just am not sure how.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/sheffield-rapist-paul-green-south-yorkshire-police-b2546185.html

Thank you for this update.

Your courage is remarkable and should never have been necessary.

This is ridiculously short notice—there's a patient and public voice opportunity with NHS England. You obviously have relevant experience and tremendous insight into the intersection between health and police services in a well-designed SARD but it might not interest you or be too painful to consider now.

Sexual assault and abuse services (SAAS) patient and public voice (PPV) partner roles
NHS England is seeking new patient and public voice (PPV) partners to join its sexual assault and abuse services (SAAS) lived experience group.
This group has an important role to play in helping NHS England to develop and improve SAAS, including sexual assault referral centres (SARCs).
Individuals on the group have non-recent and recent lived experience of sexual assault and abuse. We are currently recruiting new members and are particularly keen to hear from as diverse a range of applicants as possible.
More information including a role description can be found in the application pack.
We typically meet 4 times a year, either face to face or online. You will be required to read papers in advance and also be open to take forward dedicated pieces of work as they occur. Support with meeting attendance and preparation can be provided if needed.
Closing date: 11:59pm Monday 26 August 2024
Interviews (30 minutes, online): week commencing 9 September 2024

https://www.england.nhs.uk/get-involved/get-involved/opportunities/

The role description and application pack are there. The application is usually quite short.

I wish you peace of heart and mind. And, thank you for persisting with this.

Thank you for updating us. I am so "glad" to hear he got such a long sentence (glad feels like the wrong word here, but what I mean is that given the circumstances, a really long sentence is the best outcome available). Hopefully you will be able to continue moving towards a place of balance but with the trauma of the rape and then the retraumatising nature of the wait and the trial, I wouldn't be surprised if that is something that takes a long while.

Dear God. Well done.

I am disgusted about all the layers of abuse and re traumatising you’ve been through.

Thank you for your persistence in the face of misogyny.

OP. There are no words.

You have my utmost respect and admiration.

You've been so brave, well done, having followed your story for years!

Nothing I can say seems enough.

Your courage and strength has reduced me to tears, women are safer tonight because of you. I just wish that you had been kept safe too.

I wish you peace now OP, nobody deserves it more x

@Backandforthandnow Thank you. You’re quoted as saying:

“I have continued to fight this case, accepting the horrific effects of reliving this again and again, because I cannot and will not accept for my daughters and all women that this is OK. It is not OK.”

You’ve fought so hard for us, for all women and girls. Thank you. I hope you can now speak privately with your psychologist or other helpful person (I am horrified that this privacy is denied victims of rape and violence). I’m sure it won’t be a smooth path to peace and contentment because the injustices you’ve suffered on top of the crime are so monumental and went on for such a brutal amount of time, but I hope you get peace and contentment and deep joy soon. You deserve happiness. You have my gratitude. Thank you.

Thank you. I am so sorry for all ways in which you were abused and failed. I am in awe of your bravery. I wish and pray for you to now have peace and joy.

Adding my thanks for pursuing this and not letting this man and the police off the hook. Thank you for taking the time to update this thread.

You are fucking amazing op. You brave, wonderful woman. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making the world that little bit safer by pursuing justice. I hope you can start to heal even a little from the trauma of it all.

@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus I’m going to apply! That is a chance to try and make a difference thank you, I feel it will help me heal to drive change.

Thanks so much for the update. I too am in awe of your courage and tenacity. It shouldn’t have to be like this. I’m just speechless. But so pleased you have got something resembling justice. I wish you well in your healing journey 💐

Thank you for your bravery, you are awesome

Good luck with the job application!

@Backandforthandnow I'm so pleased. Good luck with the application and I think you'd be an extraordinary Patient and Public Voice Partner in this role.

I have been watching and following your thread for years as well. Sixteen years. Vindication of your sheer guts and bravery in the face of appalling betrayal on the part of the police and CPS who should have been there for you.

You said in court that he broke you. It must have felt that way and perhaps it still does. I hope some day you can feel that he didn't and he hasn't. You are very much not in pieces! You have a mission to change the system that failed you so badly. But do look after yourself. You in turn will not be letting anyone down if this role on the SARC has come too soon. There will be other ways you can make a difference. Best of luck, you amazing woman.