TW - He’s been charged - very very old thread update

[Backandforthandnow]

Hi all, sorry username change as I haven’t been on here for about a year, can’t remember which one I posted under.

There may be none of you here now who remember, but in 2018 I was the victim of a brutal rape, under the guise of niche, violent and sick BDSM. Which I had no interest in and did not agree to.

Over the time it happened, and the years after you guys were here for me, after having the case rejected on very spurious grounds, evidence lost, the rough sex and silly woman thrown at me constantly someone on here referred me to the Centre For Women’s Justice and I really wish I could remember the username of the member but I was traumatised at the time.

Anyway if there are any who remember, with their enormous support all the way, and that of my local MP I have fought this for 4 years.

This week, after review by the independent CPS body, I finally have the validation I’m not insane, complying to survive was not my fault, being hospitalised with various injuries and having months of physio is not the normal outcome of a date.

They have chosen to charge this man with 6 counts.

I won’t say anymore because I don’t want to give any details that could jeopardise, but I do want to say thank you.

It’s a long road from here to remove this man from the streets he shouldn’t have been on for 4 years and there are no guarantees. But from your support hopefully a tiny change will be made in the system, maybe some lessons will be learned.

So if any of you remember then thank you, thank you for being there during one of the darkest moments of life.

If any of you are seeking a charity to support to help women who have no where else to turn then please consider the CWJ because I can’t repay them for all they have given me in practical legal fights but also in kindness and understanding.

A “rough sex” “defence” outside of a homicide case? Interesting. Wonder what’s taking the jury so long.

I hope that you are OK and get the right outcome. Your bravery is an example to us all.

OP, you’re an absolute hero.

I’m not for a second suggesting you watch it, but this is what the one woman play Prima Facie is about. A barrister who is raped by a colleague and how the system is biased against victims. She has been trained in story telling - it’s all down to whose story is most believable to the jury/judge. I watched it in the cinema and sobbed.

My experience of barristers in court is limited, but having been cross examined by one in a case where I witnessed a man throw his girlfriend into a wall where the (young, female) barrister asked me “how do you know this wasn’t a normal part of their relationship?” I can imagine what you were up against.

As I said, absolute hero. Thank you for fighting.

I remember your original post and your extreme bravery.

4 long years. I hope today sees you get justice.

💐 for you OP, I hope you get the outcome you deserve and you get justice.

Hope that piece of shit rots in hell.

Any update, op? 💐

I hope you are OK, OP. There are plenty of women on here who support and believe you, and who are holding your hand virtually, however the verdict goes.

I remember your original post OP my own DD couldn't go through with a court case she was just 18 🥺 I hope you are ok you are a brave warrior and I sincerely hope you have got justice 💐

Still thinking of you OP and checking in on here. Regardless of the outcome I want you to know that I believe you and the strength you've shown is an inspiration. Take care of yourself x

However the verdict went OP we are here for you and know the truth.

Thank you on behalf of all the victims that couldn’t get this far for whatever reasons. My own little DD included. I can only imagine how difficult these years have been re living and going into such detail.
We made the difficult decision (with professional help) not to put her through the interviews and trial as the cost for a young child was not worth the benefit to her. So thank you.

I remember your thread. You are amazing. Your bravery helps all women, thank you.

Irrespective of the outcome, you have done all women a great service. I hope justice plays out.

Still thinking of you OP, sending you love and strength. You are an inspiration and don't ever forget it. Take care of yourself

I hope you got the justice you deserve ❤️

@Backandforthandnow Hope you are doing ok, I thought about you yesterday and just wanted to check in with you. Take care x

And it is also interesting how many defence lawyers in rape cases are women.

I'm guessing that very sadly the op did not get the justice she deserved.

Resurrecting this very old thread.

At the time I wasn’t strong enough to come back I am sorry, the result was a hung jury. I don’t know why exactly, there were various issues. Worst outcome at the time as no closure at all. Anyway with the support of the ever amazing CWJ, and a good CPS contact they wanted to re-try it. Which another year on we now have.

The outcome is guilty. We await sentencing.

And I can’t believe after all this time I’m writing that down. But I am. Unanimously guilty.

Thank you all those years ago to the person who connected me with the right support. This man wouldn’t be removed as a danger to other women without you.

OP, I've thought of you so often.

Thank you for this update.

I'm so relieved for you.

Oh my god, OP.

Thank you. Sending you a big unmumsnetty hug.

Wow OP, amazing update but what an awful journey to have been on. I hope you're doing ok 💐

Wow. You are so brave to have pursued this despite the hung jury. Well done on finally getting the correct verdict!!

I'm so pleased for you that you finally got a guilty verdict, love brilliant news. It's been so long.

My goodness. Well done OP.

I've also thought of this thread often. What an astonishing update. I hope you are ok.

This update made me cry.

I didn’t read your previous threads, and I didn’t realise until now that I have been holding my breath reading this one.

You are amazing, you fought on when I’m sure at times it would have been easier to give up. You have been through things nobody should have to face, and still you fought for the truth and what is right. The world is slightly safer tonight because of you. I wish you peace and happiness OP, more than I’ve ever wished for anyone.