Singing a card - husbands name first

[MrsPumpkinSeed]

Of course very grateful but dh sister (aunt to our child) sent Dd a lovely card with her husbands name first even though she is a blood relative. Dh family are very traditional but this is outdated practise surely?

I have no idea what my husband does. I'm desperate to know now

I always put my name first. FTP

I used to put late DH first if it was for his family and me if it was for my family if I thought about it at all

And yes, he should have been organising his own cards, but I should wash my own car, it's a team effort.

@Remoteso

I have no idea what my husband does. I'm desperate to know now

I always put my name first. FTP

Same. I always write my name, followed by DH then the kids (who I also write in age order). I'm interested in finding out how DH does it now.

I put DH first because he is older than me, I put youngest DC last, honestly nothing more sinister than that.

This is so unimportant I couldn't even tell you what my standard practice is beyond the cats , in descending age order, come after the humans.

I have no idea what my husband does beyond if it's a card from him to any of his family he doesn't add my name. I don't like them and wouldn't be sending cards to them anyway.

@SkunkButRug

My name first for my family, his name first for his. I write them all as I am neatest!

This is what I do

Non issue.
Thinking of the couples we know. Some are always male first, female second. Some are the other way round.
Often the reason is we knew one first. Eg. Eddy and Sue, I know Eddy first then he got together with Sue.

It's the 'person 1' thing isn't it!

That was about the census before last. Long long thread revealed that
Completing the census was usually 'women's work'

When filling in who was in the house LOADS of women put the man first (if there was one) - person 1. Most hadn't even thought about it. Just automatic. Many were a bit. Oooooh. Well I never even thought of that. Crikey. When they realised.

So the man being person 1 is kind of still quietly out there.

Anyway.

We do cards for own families.
I say me and him
He says him and me

Both do kids oldest first. A similar thing in a way!

My mum sends me an Xmas card in the post every year even though 5 mins up road.

Addressed.

Mr and Mrs Bob Smith.

Now that gets on my tits which is why she does it!

So OP yes.

Weird to put the in law first.

She's not thinking about it, automatic esp if sending loads of cards.

The 'traditional ' thing to do in letter writing, cards etc ( not the envelope) is to put the woman first, not the man. So they weren't even being traditional.

I often sign the cards especially to my side of the family. Sometimes DH's name is first and other times, mine is. Occasionally the kids' names come first. I think using this as a key or sole measure of a couple's feminist credentials or a judgement of how women are perceived is way out there misleading unless a) it's based on analysis of thousands of communications, b) that analysis is compared and cross tabbed with other behaviours. Non issue really

I always put my name last - no matter who the card is from. So if the card was from DD and myself I'd put her first, and if it's from DH and myself I put him first. Nothing to do with "who is the boss of the family", I just think it's polite to put the other person first.

I agree, OP. I find it weird when my family write Christmas cards and put his name before mine. I'm the youngest in a large family though, so have long been touchy about always being put last.

Gosh I have no idea what I write inside cards. I probably do a mix of DH first and me first. I have never, ever given this a moments thought.

I'd suggest that the fact that you assume that his name being first means something or is some sort of anti feminist action says more about your perception than anything. Why does it matter who's name comes first???

My name first for my family, his name first for his side - he mostly does his side but if I end up doing them for any reason that's how I do it.

When I was with my ex it was my name first for my family and his name first for his. Basically, whoever has the closest connection to the person receiving the card goes first.

It’s like Dec and Ant or Judy and Richard on TV, some names just flow one way and we get used to hearing them that way. DP and I also have “a side” when taking selfies or even walking together - it just feels all wrong the other way round

To His family: (very rare but he doesn’t do cards so if I send one I put him in mine too).
Him & me
His DCs
My DCS

To My family:
Me & him
My DCs
His DCs

I used to mix up the DCs into age order but then realised he didn’t do that with mine (probably didn’t even put them in, despite being much closer to mine than I am to his!) so now I do them that way.

If it is DH relative his name goes first, if it is my friend - I have no relatives - my name is first.

In my opinion, if I write the card, my name goes first, if he writes it his goes first.

Making assumptions about why someone put names in a particular order is foolish. You have no idea.

I don't use any particular order, unless I think the people receiving the card will be confused because they don't know one of us. Kids go after adults, but I don't think of that as a status thing.

If the card is to his family, his name goes first, if it's to mine, mine goes first.

We refer to relatives depending on which one we've known the longest. So Ann and Norman for sis and BIL, Gary and Jill for brother and SIL. I assume everyone does this, so we sign cards in the order in which we assume people refer to us.

I’d probably do it like that because it’s how l was taught to talk, eg “X and I went to the shop” rather than putting yourself first. I’d do it whoever I was talking about or signing a card from.

If I'm writing the card ( and it's usually me) my name goes first ( earned that right by buying, writing and posting). Children go in age order, sometimes I include pets ... If it's not me doing the writing of the card I'm not fussed which order the live from but is written in.

If I'm writing to a couple I will always put the females name first. Just because.