Singing a card - husbands name first

[MrsPumpkinSeed]

Of course very grateful but dh sister (aunt to our child) sent Dd a lovely card with her husbands name first even though she is a blood relative. Dh family are very traditional but this is outdated practise surely?

Signing

I would always put my name first to anything I was signing. Why would I not? Sorry, didn't even know this was a thing to be outdated about - was it ever in?

Do you mean she addressed the card to your adult Dd as ‘Mrs DH name surname’, or that she put from Jon and Janet rather than Janet and Jon?

The first is exasperating, the second… I wouldn’t notice. And usually people put the other person first, as in Jon and I…

Yep. I still chunter and grind my teeth when people address my post to Mrs 'DH initial' Surname. My kids and DH will deliberately wait and hand me the card just to see my reaction (sods). Welcome to the 1890s everyone.

As in “Love, John and Susan” rather than “ Love, Susan and John”?

I care not what order we come in.

I agree with @EdgeOfTheSky entirely

If I'm doing a card to dhs relative I tend to put his name first but if its my side of the family i put mine first.

I don't organise cards for dh side.
His sister wrote the card and she is the closest relative so I would have wrote her name first.
Small issue but very telling on how women are perceived.

Yes, I notice when people do this. I put my name first, unless its to someone in DH's family (he does most of these but I do the odd one).

We just sign wherever. It doesn’t matter who is first from left to right.

Have I got this clear - you are offended by the fact that she wrote 'love from and rather than the other way around? I think that's a total non-issue and nothing to do with how women are perceived. I doubt I'd even notice what order a family's names were in! As for being old-fashioned and outdated, what's so modern about insisting on the order being based on blood relative status?

I run a database for a fairly traditional organisation who sends out mailings once or twice a year. You cannot imagine the battles I have had to get everyone addressed as just Mr and Mrs Smith rather than Mr and Mrs John Smith.

You should see their heads explode when I mention we need a letter to go to Mr and Mr Smith!!

It is outdated now but many people still believe the traditional way is the only and right way

This is a complete non-issue. I assumed you meant she’d signed it “love from Mrs John Smith” which is outdated and weird but just putting their names down in whatever order is completely meaningless. Whenever people referred to exdh and I they’d always say my name then his as it just flows better - I have a short name, he has a long one and it just sounds clunky to say it the other way around. Stop finding things to be annoyed about and focus on the real issues women are facing which are currently enormous.

Maybe she prefers John and Susan to Susan and John? Who knows. I wouldn’t even have noticed tbh.

If it's "Love, Uncle X and Auntie Y" in her handwriting, rather than each person signing individually, I'd just assume she's putting the other person's name first out of politeness. (Of course, it may also be that among female/male couples it's more often the woman than the man that gets the job of remembering birthdays and anniversaries and writing cards.)

maybe the names flow better that way.... Jackie and Dave sounds better than Dave and Jackie

You cannot imagine the battles I have had to get everyone addressed as just Mr and Mrs Smith rather than Mr and Mrs John Smith
I’m guessing you can’t imagine how tedious it is for families with more than one Mr and Mrs with the same surname living under one roof to constantly have to open each other’s letters to see who they’re for! Extended families often live together now. Don’t bin the initials it’s annoying for everyone. I’d add both eg Mr J and Mrs S Smith.

And? Maybe she thinks it flows better that way, or maybe she just didn't think at all because it's not relevant! It's people who make issues out of non-issues, like this, that are the problem.

My name first for my family, his name first for his. I write them all as I am neatest!

I always put myself last, unless it's someone my DH doesn't really know in which case I put myself first. It's not a man/woman thing, I also put myself last if I am writing the minute of a meeting. Men at my work do that too.

I was always taught that whoever writes the card puts their name second. So if I write them my name goes second and when dh does it his does. Really does not bother me whose name is first.

My name first for my family, his name first for his. I write them all as I am neatest!

Some in our house. I write all the cards cause DH is a pain at doing it (so slow and untidy). He wraps the presents.

His family/friend/collegeague would his ne first.
My family/friend/colleague would be my name first.
Granny and Grandpa or kids friends get kids names first.
The poor cats never get to go first.

I was always taught to sign in alphabetical order.

So it would be Rob and Susan rather than Susan and Rob or Kate and Mike rather than Mike and Kate!

I tend to refer to people either in the order that I met them, or their connection to me. I'd say it was a fifty-fifty split between her name / his name and vice-versa.

As some people say though, some names just go together better.

BBC breakfast to me is Dan and Louise, but Nagga and Charlie.

@haggisaggis

I was always taught that whoever writes the card puts their name second. So if I write them my name goes second and when dh does it his does. Really does not bother me whose name is first.

Same here - and both DH and I do this. I thought it was the norm