Anyone got experience of Crack cocaine? please help.

[dillpickle]

Hi, don't know if I've put this in the right category but didn't seem to fit anywhere else. I found out just before Easter (and by accident) that my husband had been doing crack for 6 months. To say I was shocked is an understatement; we have been together for nearly 20 years and I thought I knew him. He is the most down-to-earth sensible man around. I thought he was having an affair but was doing that instead. He now swears he is not using and has stopped all by himself but the more I learn about crack the more I worry! He is very depressed and a shadow of his former self. I can't tell anyone and don't trust him anymore. We have three children and they are my main priority. Can people give up crack just like that and without help? Can anyone help? Feel a bit lost to be honest.

Well done dillpickle.

This really is the only way to help him. And it might not succeed, but it's the only thing you can do; the rest is up to him. This whole 'it was my last binge' thing is classic addict behaviour, he obviously hates himself for using but he can't just stop - it's crack cocaine!

As noodle says, this is probably in some way a massive relief for him.

Good luck getting through this next bit. Stay strong.

Hi Dill,

Just checking in to see how you're getting on

x

Hi Buck, ok thanks. Had a bit of a low day yesterday. He popped round to see the kids and I felt really sorry for him; it was so tempting to just say come home and lets pretend none of this has happened. But today I've felt really angry again. Like i wanna scream! Anyway, just waiting for Monday so that we can go to Addaction and see what the next steps are. Today it feels like we can never be together again but I still want him to get better if he can. My mind is working overtime at the moment imagining him in these houses he went to and what he was doing while we were worried sick at home. .

Dill - hold that picture, of last weekend. I hope Addaction helps. Try and keep your spirits up, we're here, and congratulate yourself for putting a stop to him bringing your family down, and for your courage to face this. xx

Another voice saying keep your chin up. It is so hard to watch someone doing this to themselves, it's a pitiful, pathetic and painful thing to watch but there is nothing you can do to help him. That is a harsh truth - I tried for years to help my xp and it was the hardest realisation I had.

His actions are his own, and you can't make the right choices for him. You are doing really well by yourself and the kids by keeping going and staying strong.

Hi Dill,

Well done for staying strong. It is normal to feel both very fecked off and very sorry for your DH. He is your DH after all, and you have all the memories of Before to remind you of the person he was. But he has also got himself into a situation which is forcing you to make changes to your and your DC's life that you wouldn't have made so your anger is completely natural.

I said before Stay Angry. It really did help me to keep going. ExDP took to hanging around outside my mum's house looking like a broken man. It was heart wrenching and took all of my resolve not to waiver and tell him everything would be ok. I had to realise that he had to stop using on his own, for his own reasons, not because he thought he would get me back. Addicts are only successful in not using if they are doing it for themselves.

I hope you are still feeling strong and your meeting goes well.

Take care x

Hi Dill

Have you had your meeting, how'd it go?

fingers crossed you've been given some hope
xx

Hiya. Yes went to meeting - thanks for asking. But it was a bit crap because they had forgot to book us in! We were supposed to be having an assessment (because he referred himself by phone) but we had to do the referral again and the assessment is now next week! Never mind, its a start and he is very willing to do it. I felt so sorry for him though. Funny because yesterday I was angry and told him I don't think I can ever trust him again but today I felt like saying "come home, I will look after you". But I keep reminding myself that he was just as humble and sorry the first time round but still went on to do it again. I don't think I'll ever understand it. Hope you are well. xx

That's a shame about the mix up with the referral
Well, good luck next week
and I expect you are feeling a roller coaster of emotions
How is your DH doing?

DH is ok. He hasn't touched the drug in 8 days. But he has done this before and been able to stop for several weeks plus he hasn't been paid yet. He says he isn't getting cravings and that he hasn't ever had cravings but he must've surely? Or maybe he doesn't recognize it as cravings? I don't understand it really. He clearly needed it to start again. anyway, was really pleased that he went to addaction.

Hi Dill, just wondering if you are around and how things are going? x