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Original poster

Anyone got experience of Crack cocaine? please help.

136 replies

dillpickle · 08/06/2010 21:33

Hi, don't know if I've put this in the right category but didn't seem to fit anywhere else. I found out just before Easter (and by accident) that my husband had been doing crack for 6 months. To say I was shocked is an understatement; we have been together for nearly 20 years and I thought I knew him. He is the most down-to-earth sensible man around. I thought he was having an affair but was doing that instead. He now swears he is not using and has stopped all by himself but the more I learn about crack the more I worry! He is very depressed and a shadow of his former self. I can't tell anyone and don't trust him anymore. We have three children and they are my main priority. Can people give up crack just like that and without help? Can anyone help? Feel a bit lost to be honest.

OP posts:
scruffymomma · 08/06/2010 23:10

very very sad for you Dill. Everyone is allowed a mistake but you've got your kids to think of, I know you know that.

got to go to bed now but will be following this thread. sending you lots of strength and hope
xx

DuelingFanjo · 08/06/2010 23:12

oh dear.

How on earth did he keep such an addictive and life effecting drug habit a secret for so long?

Original poster
dillpickle · 08/06/2010 23:15

God I've just thought, I found a spoon in there too! But that's exactly how I feel about the 'real' him. He goes into the garage to smoke cigarettes so that's what I always assume he is doing. One night recently I woke up at 2am and he was in the garage for ages but I didn't dare go in there because I was so scared of what I might see. I waited until he came in and asked what he was doing and he said he couldn't sleep and went out for a fag. Sorry you have had to go through it BuckBuck. But thanks for your advice. Much much appreciated.

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Original poster
dillpickle · 08/06/2010 23:20

Thanks Scruffy. You've all been so fantastic. It means so much to have people to talk to.
I think he was able to keep it secret because a. I knew absolutely nothing about drugs b. he often works late so I had no reason to suspect him c. He's a lovely guy d. He blamed a lot of his behaviour on feeling depressed d. I didn't realise his weight loss was anything to do with drugs. Apart from that I don't know. I am always so busy with the kids and work we don't have a lot of time to talk I guess. I've probably neglected him but because he doesn't do anything with us anymore I don't have time.

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BuckBuckMcFate · 08/06/2010 23:22

Thanks Dill, it was nearly 12 years ago now and tbh it seems like something that happened to somebody else.

(The spoons were used for heroin, not sure if they're also used for crack).

Users become very experienced at keeping it a secret and will go to great lengths to not be found out, duelling fanjo. And if you suspect that there is something going on Class A drug addiction is not usually the 1st thing that you think of!

Dill, stay strong, I've got to go to bed now but I'll be back on here tomorrow.

Original poster
dillpickle · 08/06/2010 23:25

Lol maybe the spoon was something else then! Something innocent! Goodnight. thanks again. xx

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Monty100 · 08/06/2010 23:30

Dill - I think crack is burned in the same way as heroin, so the spoon/foil paper would have been used to do that.

Original poster
dillpickle · 08/06/2010 23:40

Must admit, was a bit random that a spoon was in there. I am so naive about drugs. Didn't think it was something I needed to learn about until kids were a bit older. Funny how things work out...

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Original poster
dillpickle · 08/06/2010 23:42

Better go to bed. Got work tomorrow and having to pretend everything is fine and dandy is hard work isn't it!

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Monty100 · 08/06/2010 23:45

NN. You take care. xx

Original poster
dillpickle · 08/06/2010 23:47

xx

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LuminousAura · 08/06/2010 23:51

dillpickle

My DP is currently in detox/recovery for addiction, I too was a bit naive about drugs and think I may have just ignored the obvious at times because I didn't want to have to face up to it.

I don't know anything really about Crack but my thoughts are with you x

BuckBuckMcFate · 09/06/2010 09:16

Morning Dillpickle

Juat wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

Hope you get through work ok, I know it's rubbish having to go at times like this but it can be good to have a distraction from everything else that is going on.

Take care x

Monty100 · 09/06/2010 20:44

Dillpickle - how are things?

Original poster
dillpickle · 09/06/2010 23:14

Hi. Things are ok thanks. We've not hardly spoken to each other since the weekend. He was back late from work again tonight. I can't see us getting over this because I suspect him everytime he goes out the door now.

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Original poster
dillpickle · 09/06/2010 23:25

I haven't told you all what happened at the weekend either because I didn't want to write a big essay but I have to get if off my chest. Ok, when I first found out about all this I found hotel numbers and one particular number coming up a lot on his mobile phone bill (which i pay so i get). That is why I thought he was having an affair. Anyway, this number was the guy who was getting the crack for him. The number was there all the time (texts) day and night. Last week suddenly the number appeared again. 2am 3am 5am - you get the picture. I was devastated and asked him about it. He said that the guy had died (car accident) and that it was the guy's girlfriend texting him in grief. This just didn't ring true to me. In the end he said he couldn't cope with my questions and Sat night drove off. He didn't return till monday morning and then went straight to work. I had been beside myself. He wouldn't reply to my phone calls but sent me texts saying he'd be back home soon. apparently he went to the coast and slept in his van! I was really hurt. Didn't know what to tell the kids etc. And now can't even look at him. Sorry for the long story but wondered what you guys think.

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Original poster
dillpickle · 09/06/2010 23:46

I think I have come on too late tonight lol. Speak soon. Thanks for all your lovely words. xx

OP posts:
colditz · 09/06/2010 23:56

Kick him out.

You have offered as much help as you can. Seperate your finances and make him move somewhere else.

How DARE he do crack on your property while your children sleep upstairs? how DARE he just fuck off on a drug fuelled joyride (because make no mistake, that's what he has been doing!) just because you had the gall to ask him to stop spending the money that should be used for looking after your children??!!!

Don't even consider that he is not using. He is using. he says that if he loses you he has no reason to stop? He's still got you and he still hasn't stopped, you're clearly not a good enough reason, are you?

If he gets arrested for possession, and he's still living with you, your house will be SHREDDED by police looking for drugs. they will dismantle your kid's toys, they will open your sex toys (fucking trust me on this), they will go through your children's clothing, and when the police see that he lives with children, the first thing they will do is contact child protection services - and he will have brought this upon them.

Get
Him
Out

TheCrackFox · 10/06/2010 00:05

What Colditz said.

Get him out and get legal advice about separating your finances. You have enough on your plate without paying off his debts for drugs.

He needs to go before social services get a whiff of this.

ShirleyKnot · 10/06/2010 00:10

Get him away from you OP, sweetheart, this is BAD, BAD NEWS.

MortaIWombat · 10/06/2010 00:24

What those three said. In spades.

Monty100 · 10/06/2010 10:11

Dill - how's it going? I'm sorry to hear what you described earlier. Things are very bad I can see. I would give him one chance and one chance only to stop immiediately, if that failed I go along with the others. I would not have him around me or my dcs either and wouldn't hesitate to kick him out. It's unbelievable that he's doing this to his family.

Still here to support you.

BuckBuckMcFate · 10/06/2010 10:53

Hi Dill,

Sorry to hear about events from the weekend Unfortunately it sounds all too familiar to me. I think he is still using. It is hard to accept that he isn't going to stop, not for you or for your children, but that is the way it is with addicts.

Please find your local drug agency and arrange an appointment with them or speak to someone over the phone.

Please don't let him blackmail you, like colditz said, he already has you and he is still using.

It is heartbreaking to watch someone you love in addiction mode but you need to harden yourself to it and concentrate on you and your children.

You have no duty to help him sort this out, you do have a duty to your children though. If he says that he wants to stop then you can go to drug counselling together and individually but he needs to start proving to you that he is making the steps needed to get clean.

I'm so, so sorry that you are having to go through this, it was one of the hardest times of my life. Do you have anyone in RL who can support you? My Mum and brother helped me so much and getting really fucked off with him and what he had done fuelled me to do what my head knew was the right thing even when my heart was breaking.

Take care lovely x

Original poster
dillpickle · 10/06/2010 16:51

I know it must sound like I'm being really pathetic and I know that if I was listening to someone telling this story I would say get out etc etc. He has never lied to me before and I'm finding it hard (without actual proof) to accept that he is lying. I know that sounds really stupid but he is a really good person normally. I told him today that I think he is still using and that I don't believe him and asked him to tell me the truth but he insists he isn't lying. Still keeps saying its depression and not drugs. We are just an ordinary family doing boring everyday things. If he was a horrible bastard then I wouldn't hesitate to tell him to go. But he's really not. But I grew up with an alcoholic father and vowed I would never put my kids through anything like that so I know we can't carry on. I'm probably rambling ... sorry.

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ShirleyKnot · 10/06/2010 16:59

It doesn't sound pathetic. It just sounds unbearably awful for you.

Have you looked at This support thread? I'm sure the ladies on there will be able to help you.

I understand what you're saying about wanting to know for sure if he's lying before making any decisions; but TBH I really think you should get the fuck out of there.