Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

But you're right I would never suggest that on a post about suicide, because you never know who is behind those "words on a screen" - I am just going to leave it well alone now.

I can't bear the thought of someone leaving their children. DH lost a colleague to suicide two years ago. He was the exact same age as me (same birthday and everything) and it was devasting. He didn't have any children.

This afternoon we had a friend visit with her three little girls aged 5, 3 and 2. Oh my god! They were little tornadoes and together with the DSs they turned the house upside down!!! Just thought I'd share that with you guys

I didn't realise there was a thread for insomniacs... can I join? 12 years of sleepless nights and counting!

Having a nasty bout at the moment and longing for the few comatose nights I get in-between each bout.....

Welcome! Love the name by the way!!!

Hi there Ineedmorechocolatenow - welcome

Insomnia is awful. We are here to help each other beat it.

We like to post Positive Sleep Thoughts (PSTs) and generally support and encourage each other along the way,

What triggers your insomnia, and what do you do to try and combat it?

Between us on here feels like we have pretty much tried everything!

Hi! Thanks for the nice welcome.

I tend to get to sleep okay, but wake for intervals of between 30 mins to 3 hrs within the night. On the odd occasion I can't get to sleep at all, but mostly it's night wakings.

Seems that silly things trigger it. If I'm 'a bit manic' (as DH calls it) before bed trying to sort things for the morning (setting off dishwasher, washing machine or tidying up) within an hour of bed time, I have trouble staying asleep. I try to avoid that.

Stress can trigger it, as can using the computer in the evenings.

Mostly it just happens.

My dad is an insomniac too, and thinks it might be hereditary. My sister suffers a bit too.

Reading before bed helps a bit (unless it's a really addictive one). Also avoiding TV in the evenings.

I'm still BF DD in the mornings so haven't resorted to sleep aids for the last two years since falling pregnant, other than Bach Flower Remedy for Night.

Nytol One-a-night used to work okay for me for a couple of nights, but then stopped working. I haven't resorted to prescription sleeping tabs.

Thinking positive thoughts about tonight. Must get off the laptop!

Hi How are we all today?

How was your night Ineedmorechocolatenow?

Sounds like you do need some "wind down" time before bed - being manically busy just before you go to bed does not bode well for a good night.

I can't imagine having 12 years of insomnia you poor thing! Mine has really only started since birth of DD (now 2.5)

Had a traumatic birth followed by a long stay in hospital and then a highly stressful newborn period where she wouldn't gain weight and we had to set the alarm every 2-3 hours all through the night to feed her.

I am much better now, but find a bad night now seems to trigger anxiety and a massive fear it will all spiral out of control again.

I feel sooo dreadful after a bad night - sick, headaches, dizzy, tearful, irritable.

Arrgh.

A lot of us on here have got Paul McKenna's book "I can make you sleep" - have you heard of it? It's got some very useful stuff in it.

Hi there all and welcome to chocolate. I'm a regular on here too!

Sorry will be whinging again today .

Just seems that once I get one thing sorted out I find something else to get stressed about. Am loving DD but everything else seems difficult.

Am really stressed out about work thing. Went from convincing myself it was OK to feeling really angry again. DP and I haven't properly discussed but will try to do so on Saturday (when his parents are here) as he never wants to discuss things when he gets home from work, late in the evening or in the morning! (so never, basically!).

The problem I have is that my family and friends are overwhelmingly sympathetic and think I shouldn't go back, some even if I did get OKish pay (especially those who have worked at that place!). DP just doesn't see it. He just thinks it is a good opportunity working there and is also worried about his own possible redundancy (he works in NHS). He says I will have thrown away my career, isn't that for me to decide?

He also thinks that some nursery is preferable to my full time care . I may agree with that when she is older, but not whilst she is a baby.

Sorry I'm just ranting I think I need to speak to RL friends about this but they all say the opposite to DD! .

Went to bed feeling bizarre last night - just conked out with terrible headache. Thought I was getting flu but think it's just from worrying about work. I've only just recently got strong enough to address the issue and I am wobbling, as I guessed I would.

Sorry I meant DP in penultimate para! DD just says 'ga ga da da' about it all! but is extra cuddly at the mo so I take that as a stay at home with me mum!

Hi all

I said to Getdown on fb that i should post on here again as I'm exhausted. Don't know how much of it is sleep (falling asleep ok, waking a lot, lots of nightmares) and how much is worry and grieving (really in the middle of coming to terms with what happened to me as a little girl). I know grief is exhausting and my job is still new and they don't know I'm still recovering from PTSD.

Had to think of you a lot Becky as one evening this week I so lost the plot that I thought about texting a close friend to ask if he would keep an eye on dh and ds if I couldn't take it anymore. Ironically what stopped me was knowing he'd only had one hour the night before having been up organising a big church event .

DH has his own huge issues at the moment and just hasn't listened when I have tried to tell them how bad I feel.

Arcadia I agree with you. At this age being at home is the most beneficial situation, it may be controversial to say that, but there have been studies about it and it's just what I believe from experience. In my opinion a childminder is the next best option and nursery third. When they get to about 2-3 years old then a nursery / preschool is fantastic. I'm not knocking nurseries for younger children at all though, DS1 went to one from age 1 and he did like going there.

I'm bound to think you shouldn't go back to work though as I didn't! I was in a similar situation after DS1 was born and I chose not to go back. I don't want to make your decision more difficult but I'm so glad I didn't go back but then I've been very lucky with freelance work - it has been really easy and I know that is not the same for everyone.

He he he I thought your DD was quite advanced to be having an opinion on your future work situation!

I'm doing ok at the moment, sleeping ok, but PMT grrrrrr struggling with that. I just feel so emotional and cross about stupid things.

Hello all.

Not a bad night last night. I was awake at 5am, but slept okay with only a couple of wake-ups in-between. Trying to get off the computer so that I can have an hour wind-down before sleep.

Thanks for the advice getdownyouwillfall. 12 years seems ages, but to be honest, you just get used to it. Some weeks I sleep fine, others I have to write off. I remember once in the last 5 years I went to sleep at 10pm and woke for the first time at 7am! Every other night have included some wake time. My sleep is always worst when I'm pregnant.

Thanks for the book recommendation. Will go onto Amazon tomorrow.

Sorry to hear about your worries arcadia and willsurvivethis - haven't been on here long enough to know the ins and outs

Anyway. Thinking positive sleep thoughts to everybody. Tonight's going to be a good night!

Morning all! I slept reasonably well last night. Ineedmore I wake up constantly every night, does that mean I now have 'insomnia'? I thought that was fairly normal (I used to sleep pretty solidy and I thought I was lucky!). I fell asleep fine last night but very, very restless in the early hours. I woke up at 4am to find a cat fast asleep on my shoulder . Then gave in at 6am (not to the cat, to restlessness) and came down here to check my email!

DH is in Manchester today. Usually when he goes further afield I don't sleep well but I was ok last night. I do feel that I am on the road to recovery, albeit a bit bumpily.

I have another appointment with 'you should try lavender oil' woman tomorrow.

WillSurvive just seem your post. I really feel for you going through your own issues and having a DH with his own issues to deal with. I think you are an incredibly strong person, even if you don't feel it, dealing with everything. You just keep going and keep fighting.

Thanks Becky not sure how much longer I will keep going.

Hi all,

Sorry you are still feeling bad willsurvive

becky I think you should tell hippy woman where she can stick her lavendar oil!!! And ask to see someone else!

I am seeing my CPN tomorrow. Then she is off for the whole summer so no one is allowed a crisis in the summer holidays around here

For the last two nights I have slept well, but according to DH I have for the last two nights tried to steal his covers and got really cross with him when he said "no these are my covers" I have no memory of this

I guess you do have insomnia if you have trouble maintaining sleep becky . I think 'normal' sleep is when people sleep through, or might wake up once or twice for the loo. I looooong to only wake once or twice a night, and can't help feeling envious of DH who goes to sleep in the evening and wakes in the morning .... mind you, I'd hate for us both to be insomniacs. Too much stress in the house!

I hate it when people say 'have you tried lavender oil?'... nearly as bad as 'have you tried Nytol?' Which never fails to bring a smile to my face.....

Had an okay night, though awake early again. I think I'm in one of my recovery periods before my next bad bout.

DH (a teacher) breaks up for summer today though, so at least it means that I can catch up on sleep in the morning if I have a bad night....

Hope you're all okay x

GetDown I was once sent on an assertiveness course by my old boss. It didn't work. I could never tell CMHT woman to stick her lavendar oil or have the courage to ask for someone else. The idea terrifies me!!! DH would do it in a blink. I remember once I came out of the baby changing room in a shopping centre in Banbury with DS2 when he was a couple of weeks old and this nasty old bat with a baby started f-ing and blinding at me saying 'you've been in there for ages, you need to practice nappy changing love, it's outrageous, I've been waiting ages, you should be more considerate, etc!' I just burst into tears and told DH to go and have a go at her!!! I couldn't do it myself. (DS2 had had a complete poo explosion and I'd been ages changing his clothes.)

Ineedmorechocolatenow I woke early last night but the total hours was about 7-8 so I regard that as a good night for me. Feel tired now though...

After tomorrow I have six weeks with all three DSs to entertain. Help!

Oh I'm the same becky I could never in reality tell anyone to stick it! Much as I would like to sometimes!

This morning I went to a little shop in town to get a few storage boxes, DD was in the pushchair and an old woman was really rude, saying "what are you doing, you better get out the way etc. etc." I was just pathetically polite!!

Afterwards I was thinking up all these retorts and my best was "were you always rude, or is it your age???" Of course I would never have actually had the guts to say it!

about your encounter with that woman and the changing room! I would have cried too.

Gosh 3 boys to entertain for the next 6 weeks - eeek. Any ideas of what you will do with them yet>?

I think I find it easy to be assertive in situations with strangers like you describe Becky and GetDown - I was a secondary school teacher before I became a SAHM and I found it easier to survive with some kids if I had a sarcastic retort to hand.

Where I fall down is with friends and family where you have to be assertive.... I seem to never get my point across and end up accepting all sorts of stuff as I 'don't want to offend'.

However, if it's not in your nature to be nasty back, very often the most disarming thing is to be horribly polite. Smile politely and wish them a happy day. It never fails to shock the other person and can often (though not always) leave them feeling pretty shabby afterwards.....

Yeah I slept well despite DS3 being awake on and off around the time the milkman comes (I know because I heard his milk float tinkling down the street). It took me a while to get back off to sleep but I imagined everyone yawning as Paul McKenna suggests and it worked.

I don't want to get too excited but I haven't had a really bad night now for 2 weeks. I had a little wobble on Monday night I think it was, but I still slept about 6 hours so that's not a bad night. Seeing the CMHT woman today.

I did go to bed really upset last night thanks to BBC1 putting on a horrible undercover programme about bad vets. That plus PMT didn't mix well.

Hooray Becky! How lovely to have a really good block of sleep. Long may it continue. I forgot to watch that vet programme as I'd heard Jeremy Vine talking about it on Radio 2 yesterday. It sounded awful

I had an okay night, got about 6 hours in bits which is my minimum amount to survive the next day! Does anyone else get really obsessive in counting exactly how much sleep they got the night before? I spend a good 5 or 10 mins every morning trying to work out how much I've had. I should probably go on how I feel in the morning to judge whether I've had enough sleep and forget about the actual amount I've had...

DH is now on school hols for 5 weeks..... loads of mornings to catch up on sleep if I've had a crappy night. Yey!

Hope you all had restful nights x

hi all! well done becky I'm sure we're improving you know! . I have slept well the last few nights, and don't feel anxious about sleep at the moment, other things have taken over! Have been stressing over work and making that big decision - to go back or not. Have been feeling a bit unstable the last couple of days - think it is PMT too for me becky combined with generally facing up to big life decision after months of only worrying about sleep and will I cope with DD (which now, clearly, I am!).

Last night DP was at a football tournament and I took DD out to a nice riverside pub to meet some old work colleagues, some of whom I haven't seen for years. I was so proud to walk in with DD on my hip! . She charmed everyone and was lovely, happy to be handed around my friends so I could eat my dinner. We set off home at about her bedtime and she went down like an angel.

Before going out I had felt pretty dreadful so I know it is almost always best to go out and do things when you're feeling bad.

becky good luck with lavender lady (as she shall henceforth be known!).
Have just written a begging letter to my boss asking for a slightly more reasonable salary, we'll see what he says!