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Mental health

THIS IS SNOWKITTEN - MY DH PASSED AWAY YESTERDAY

123 replies

snowkitten · 03/04/2010 20:11

Nothig more to say...........

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Earlybird · 04/04/2010 14:13

Was wondering about you only yesterday. I am very sorry to hear the news of his death - a real tragedy.

Will be thinking of you as you begin to come to terms with the sudden loss, and as you comfort your dc and others who loved him. Be sure you allow yourself to be comforted and taken care of too.

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FabIsGettingThere · 04/04/2010 14:15

Is there anything we can do?

How are the children?

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willsurvivethis · 04/04/2010 14:17

Snowkitten I hope I'm saying this right just think I need to say this.

We have spoken on MN about your DH in pretty negative terms usually and things were very difficult and we've told you to leave him etc.

If in the time to come you want to tell us what you loved about him, how you miss him - that's good and fine and I for one would gladly listen to it. So don't feel you can't.

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aristocat · 04/04/2010 14:17

so sorry to hear this, love to you and your children.

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Curiousmama · 04/04/2010 14:26

I'm sorry for you loss snowkitten, it's good you have support though.

Same thing happened to my sister's dp. He fell in the street though but was so weak from drink, it was all he did in the last year or two, he died from bleeding in the brain. Left a lot of devastated people.

Take good care of yourself chick xxx

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snowkitten · 04/04/2010 16:20

curiousmama - that is what happened to dh. He fell down the stairs, sustained a blow to the head and bled internally. I didn't know, otherwise when I found him I would have called an ambulance immediately.

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5inthebed · 04/04/2010 16:36

Snowkitten.

Can we do anything for you? Where in the country are you?

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Bucharest · 04/04/2010 16:42

So sorry for your loss. x

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YommyMommy · 04/04/2010 19:07

Snowkitten,

So sorry for your loss! x x x

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podsquash · 04/04/2010 19:14

Snowkitten, what terrible news. Wishing you all kinds of support and love to see you and your children through this terrible time.

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snowkitten · 04/04/2010 19:55

i feel so enormously guilty and sad.

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willsurvivethis · 04/04/2010 20:26

Big hugs SK - but you have nothing to feel guilty about, nothing at all. He made the decision to be like he was and you didn't leave him even though some of us thought you should.

Is it because you did not phone the ambulance straight away? You did what you felt was right in that situation - how could you know!

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snowkitten · 04/04/2010 21:00

it is because I was cross with him for being in teh state he was in. I actually made sure he got upstairs OK and I put him into our bed - twice. I got him painkillers when he said his shoulder and head ached but I was unsympathetic and angry because, to me, it was just another drunken episode. I wish above all other things, that I had been more caring. I did not have any way of knowing he had a brain bleed. He was alive for at least 6 hours after I found him at foot of stairs and we were communicating during that time.I was exhausted and angry - and I so so so so so wish I wasn't

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Tortington · 04/04/2010 21:02

i am so very sorry for your loss
xx

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willsurvivethis · 04/04/2010 21:07

Oh SK I can see why you feel like that but from where I'm standing your response towards him was perfectly reasonable. Hopefully in time you will get to see that too - it is far too early for anything but shock. x

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LittleMarshmallow · 04/04/2010 21:10

SK - I agree with willsurvivethis you have NOTHING to feel guilty about, but I know you will still feel guilty. In time you will realise that it was the horrible addiction he had to alcohol not something you did that caused this, but for now, please take care of yourself and your children.

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MitsubishiWarrioress · 04/04/2010 21:20

I am so so sorry to hear this .

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LittleWhiteWolf · 04/04/2010 21:44

Oh snowkitten, please dont feel guilty. I know it will sound like a cliche or a simple platitude, but what happened was not your fault and being exhausted and cross with him in his final hours does NOT make you a bad person.
Like you have said yourself, you could not have known he was bleeding.
None of this is your fault (repeat as needed).

Please do come on here and vent or rant or whatever you need to say because we're all here to hear it.

God, I'm still so so sorry and sad for you and your family. Glad you have people around--that will help. (and we're here if theres things you dont want to say aloud)

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MyCatIsABastard · 04/04/2010 21:49

What a terrible thing to happen for you. Of course this was in no way your fault. You are not a doctor, there is no way you would have known.

I am very sorry and sad that this has happened.

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AvrilHeytch · 04/04/2010 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmRenewed · 04/04/2010 22:03

So very sorry.

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Hulababy · 04/04/2010 22:27

I am so sorry.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. There is no way you could have known.

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VengefulKitty · 04/04/2010 22:37

My sincere condolences go out to you and your DC snowkitten.

There is no reason for you to feel guilty, but I know that not much we say at the moment will make you feel otherwise. There is no way you could have known what was happening to him after the fall.

Sending love to you and your family.

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Collision · 04/04/2010 22:38

It was totally impossible to know what had happened to him.

It was not your fault at all. Things had been so difficult for you and your family and of course you were exhausted and angry at the state he was in.

Be kind to yourself and to your children and try not to blame yourself.

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nicm · 04/04/2010 22:45

soory for your loss.

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