You can do it!! (Jane Fonda style motivation thread!!)

[QueenFlounce]

Following on from the massive "Going to have a good week" thread...

Sax - Calling your boy a "Stupid child" is NOT an example of a complete failure as a parent! I'm sure many many Mums here will admit to doing that even without a hint of depression! THEY ARE STRESSFUL! Especially with everything else you have to put up with.

I can't comment on the drinking coz I know I drink FAR too much..... I hide behind the "But I'm Scottish!" excuse alllllll the time.

HOWEVER, what I will say is that if drinking makes you feel even more low then its something you need to reconsider as a way to unwind and de-stress..... coz it's not working if you just feel shittier.

Come on, its Friday night... we're all drinking... lets have a bit of escapism from reality for a while and step back.

This is bad moment..... it doesn't mean tomorrow will be awful... or that your children will never forgive you for saying that. It just means that by the end of today you felt really stressed.

As for the work thing. Bringing up 3 young children, one with a condition that makes him even more hard work is you contributing to your family! Debts can be paid off when you feel stronger..... as long as they are not spiralling out of control then a couple of months is not going to make that much difference, is it?

Remember.... UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I aaaaaaaamm caaaaaaaaaaaaaalm.

I'm here!! Smaller threads seem to be acceptable to my F*ING PC!!

how are you this evening? I'm having my Monday night Gin(s) & tonic.

Better thanks, I'm on the Pimms thanks to dh getting some in yesturday!

I get the impression you are checking allllll those emails you popular person you tonight and everyone else seems quiet so I'll just pop off and see if theres a bar going on!!! I'll have a large pimms if anyone offering!

Hiya!

I've just emailed you.

I'm having my last Gin of the evening..... DH is intent on going to bed EVEN THOUGH he's off tomorrow and I'm working! My PC is in our bedroom and I can't post whilst he's sleeping coz his heavy breathing annoys me.

What's Pimms?

Don't know if you mean you've emailed me - but no worries if not - Pimms, what do you mean whats Pimms - its a drink you dilbert!!!!

Not like water iykwim, more mellow LOL.

I'll go and get some shut eye myself and stop my brain working overtime, I do far too much thinking and its not good for me.

I hope everyone has a happy week and catch up with everyone soon.

Don't work too hard eh queenflounce would hate to see you off with work related stress!!!!!

Take care all and sorry if I've hogged this thread so far, all chip in please and please keep on posting Jabberwocky, I so appreciated you in my stupid time of panic!!!! Easy to say on a totally chilled and quiet moment.

See you soon guys

Sax xxxxx

Yeah Sax I've emailed you!

lol I know it's a drink... but I've just never tasted it. Whats it like??? is it a spirit/liqueuer??

You've probably gone to bed now, if so I'll 'see' you tomorrow. I like to squeeeeeeeze in some work whilst MN'ing, but it's not always possible.

I can't believe you actually get paid to give advice on Mn Iykwim LOL.

Pimms is drunk on a hot summers evening (or any evening if you fancy) with lemonade in a tall glass and some like it with a sprig of mint or cucumber (yuk).
I like it when my dh buys it, with anything, on any night of the year and I don't give a shit if it has any accompaniments.

Don't work too hard tom (Tues) and try not to type too fast, can't believe you are giving yourself away like this!

Cheers for the mail and i'm all again - sorry that depression seems like this doesn't it, one minute in the dark and beyond, next feeling fine and dandy. Sorry to confuse everyone but its not straightforward in my bonce either - maybe my MRI will find a tumour and solve everything iykwim! sorry, not to be joked about and not funny for anyone whos been associated with this - just talking aloud.

Night night all and hope Gossifer finds her way over here at some stage, 16m ds allowing!

Bloody great time to be up - switch off that mind Sax!!!!!!!

Babynovice, if you get this when you wake up, hows things going? Have you scribbled down some thoughts for tomorrow in case you find it all a bit much?

I'm going back to bed now - hope you are all asleep as I'm typing this

Hi! Let me tell you what's been happening since I last posted....went for dd routine appt at HV, which for some reason I was dreading, and to cut a long story short I started crying my eyes out at something very trivial - HV began asking gentle questions and pretty much knew how things are with me just now.
We had to go through to see the GP afterwards anyway so she briefed her before I went in (while I sat in waiting room with tears running down my face feeling like people were staring at me ) but it was good because I didn't have to say those first daunting words of why I was there or anything.
Anyyywaaayyyy - GP was very nice, it wasn't the one I had made an appt to see but she was great, explained a lot to me and we agreed that ADs were probably the best and quickest way to sort things out. Especially as it had been going on for a while and I seem to be in a bit of a downward spiral she said it was good that I had decided to see someone about it now rather than wait for it to get worse - so I have all of you to thank for supporting me and persuading me to seek help because I know I would have plodded on myself indefinitely.

Sax, it's great to hear you in such good spirits (no pun intended) and I sincerely hope that the goods days will soon outnumber the bad. I think it can be quite disheartening when you have a bad spell out of the blue after having a good day(s) so don't be too hard on yourself if that does happen and remember (as the GP explained to me yesterday) that recovering from depression is a long haul but you will get there in the end however long it takes.

BTW the HV suggested that I write down how I'm feeling every day (bad or good) and I've to see her next week, and every week if I want to, to discuss how things have gone, so the journal idea seems like a step in the right direction.

Phew I've written loads.....see Sax you're not hogging the thread hope to speak to you all sometime today although dd is already having her one nap of the day (after getting up at 5.15 grrr) so chances are I won't have much time.

Sax - I sincerely hope you are still sleeping!!

BN - Thats excellent news!! You're HV sounds like mine.... in the last 8 wks of my 2nd pregnancy she came to my house every week to talk to me about my fears of PND returning and to help with the anxiety attacks that were creeping back into my life as the birth of my dd was looming. It was wonderful to have someone there telling you that its OK to feel overwhelmed/angry/anxious/sad etc etc.... and that you don't have to cope all of the time. To get to a point in your life where you are coping most of the time is just perfect! Before depression I seemed to accept that sometimes I would lose my rag at DH and scream and shout. And sometimes cry through frustration at him. I wasn't depressed.... I didn't out it down to depression..... I was just infuriated by him sometimes. Perfectly normal in most relationships. But after you've had depression its really hard to 'allow' yourself to have days like that without panicking that this is what it'll ALWAYS be like! That it must be a sign that you're not coping and you're sprialling into a deep depression. I say this so many times, but it's so true, you lose perspective on what is 'normal' behaviour. Every reaction becomes a product of your depression. Even now if I have a bad day (perhaps 2 or 3 a month now thankfully) I still think "Oh is this it again.... will this bad day carry on for 18mths now?". Its a train of thought that I can now pull myself out of, but it's taken a long time. I felt like a weight had been lifted from me when I heard the GP say to me "This isn't uncommon and you're NOT a lunatic, you're suffering an illness which mnay women suffer from". I think I actually said "Phew!" out loud!!! And just that one conversation gave me the hope I needed. Good luck!!

Sax - You'll get there.... just remember that there are good days as well as bad. And it's ok to have bad days.

Babynovice - wow, how well did you do then, good for you, it must have been a very traumatic appointment and you were probably emotionally drained and deflated afterwards, I remember it well although I didn't do the crying bit (don't seem able).
But, you should be really proud of yourself for asking for help and as she said you had already admitted to yourself things weren't quite right so thats the first step eh!
I'm really glad you didn't have to wait til tomorrow becasue its all out in the open now and you will start feeling better.
How did dh take the news of the anti Ds - I know you were worried he'd feel he wasn't being enough support??? You have told him haven't you?

Queenflounce - "hope you are still asleep" ha ha ha ha, good to start the day with a laugh - 6.10am today so a lie-in!!!!!! Anyway, I'm quite chuffed with myself becasue the boys were ready in time for me to get to nursery not late, the rubbish is out, everything is tidied away from breakfast and I'm going to be doing the ironing in a minute. Also, I tried to make an appointment with the Gp to discuss the tablets however, fully booked! I tried to make one on Thursday cos thats when she's next in - no appoints. so I ended up saying could she ring me between patients - I just think there are some things I need to ask!

Meeely2 - how are the boys? I hope you and dh are OK too today.
Goss - still hope you'll pop in and see us here!

Speak to you all later! Sax xxxxxx

Yes, yesterday was very emotional and it did take a lot out of me, I was still mulling it all over in my head trying to get to sleep last night and although I felt positive and relieved I also felt quite scared and daunted at the realisation that there is something wrong with me that has a name. I took my first AD this morning, and then stupidly went on the net to see what are the possible side-effects...BIG mistake - am now expecting bad things to happen to me physcially as well as having to deal with PND. I'm trying not to over-react but as I've never had to take medication for anything in my life before I know I will be paranoid about every little perceived symptom and think it's the ADs.
So, after a strange kind of euphoria yesterday (and yes I did tell dp everything and he's being very supportive) I feel a bit unsure today. In general things not great today anyway because dd is having a terrible day too...maybe she can sense something is not OK with mummy, or maybe she's just knackered too after getting up so early!
Sax, I'm so impressed you now even have the motivation to iron - something I can never muster any enthusiasm for, ever

QF I know what you mean about the 'Phew' although I didn't actually say that, it was a relief to know that I hadn't just been imagining or being melodramatic, in fact when she said she thought I was 'significantly depressed' I felt like saying 'oh it's not that bad honest I'm just a bit down' but she's the doctor and I'm the one with the shaky grip on reality just now.
Hope you're working hard....but not too hard

How's everyone else doing?

I only said I was going to iron - I didn't actually get further than putting up the board and putting the iron on LOL - so its still sitting there to do!!!!!

What tablets are you on? Don't worry about the side effects - best just to look on the sheet if you are feeling 'really bad' with a symptom or other. Everything has small side effects.

the tablets I took I was told I wouldn't feel like a Zombie but after just two days I felt very out of it - this passed very quickly so don't give up on them just becasue they are establishing themselves into your system!

Anyway, I hope you are OK today Babynovice - it will take a while to sink in now its down on paper so to speak and you need some time to adjust that like you say this has a name!!!!!

I'm here for you to discuss whatever - post away if you want or email me!
Sax xxxxx

Thanks Sax, that's more like it with the ironing one step at a time, right?

GP has prescribed Prozac, she didn't discuss likely side-effects or actually she might have done but I wasn't really listening (!) but you're right I have to give them time.

I'm basically OK, a bit weepy (as usual) but that could be lack of sleep making things worse. dd went down for another sleep so that's given me a bit more time to do things i.e. do nothing. When she wakes up we'll go for a walk, with my sunglasses on of course, and that will see me through until dp gets back.

Thanks again for your support, it helps

Good to hear you are getting out and about babynovice - don't forget to look out for the flyers nearby for any mother and toddler groups in the area (doesn't commit you to look does it!!!).

Anyway, email if you fancy otherwise take care and all the best with the anti Ds - you'll be fine - you obvioulsy want it to be or you wouldn't have posted, wouldn't have said whatever you did to the HV and Gp so good for you and you are doing really well. Stick with it and no worries about the tearful aspect, I'm sure that will reduce but its good to let your feelings out rather than keep them all churning inside (sayes the hypocrite!!!!!).

Take care Babynovice you are doing grand!!!!

You are both doing really well and doing everything right to make this horrible illness disappear.

We are living and learning from experience and hope you will continue to give us your overwhelming knowledge and support - have you decided to keep the name qF??? Suits you more than the last one!? Go HRH flouncer! go........

Hi Gossifer, excellent to hear you had a good time away - a good break does the world of good - come and join us on here, Queenflounce started a new thread which is already turning out to be very long probably becasue of so many confusing thoughts - anyway, so good to hear from you!

Morning folks, hows everyone doing today? I'm telling myself I'm CCCAAAALLLLMMMM but I'm not quite as convinced as I want to be!!!
At least ds1 wasn't late today, so ds2 and ds3 being asleep now for a nap gives me the time to tell myself I am calm - but shame my head doesn't quite believe it.
I hope you are Ok Babynovice after your BIG start to your week.
Have a good day all and will pop in later to check on you all.
Have the boys still got the spots Meeeley2??

Hi Sax, dd also sleeping for now but I'm expecting her to wake any time now.....am so shattered after terrible night's sleep (both her and me) that I feel I have no energy to do anything. The prospect of having to run around after dd today is getting me down as I'm wondering how can I get through this day! Before dd went down (finally after many attempts) to sleep I was nearly at the point of calling dp to tell him to come home but I didn't - now seriously thinking of doing just that....don't think I can cope with today. I'm not particularly down or anything, just tired, tired, tired . dd crying gotta go.

Babynovice - does she settle in her pushchair if you take her for a walk, then if she settles you can sit down in a park somewhere and get yourself a sandwich for lunch! I'm a fine one to talk only going out if I have to today - ie nursery runs but I know my sane mind would be telling me to go out for a walk when things are getting stressful. All the best for the day, come back later if you get a chance and want to talk.

Babynovice - guess what the ironing board is still up, ready and waiting - as I said all good intentions and all that LOL

Hi Sax, just popped in to see what the chat has been - quite quiet today eh? At times the ironing board could be mistaken for being a permanent feature of our kitchen!
I'm so glad this day is almost past - just after my post earlier on I called dp and got him to come home. I got some sleep this afternoon and feel ten times better for it, also having him here makes it less likely that I'll get stressed out about not coping with dd. He might be around tomorrow too, we'll see how well rested I feel after tonight....just knowing that will maybe help me get a good night's sleep
I hope you had a good day today? I'll hopefully get the chance to speak to you properly tomorrow.
Bye bye for now.....sleep well

Good morning guys - I've just been to see the HV (who I really am not that keen on) and for all my front I couldn't disguise it and she guessed I was depressed. she was then busy trying to come round every week but I've politely declined becasue I really don't like her - no point if you don't connect with someone, she's patronising and judgemental and I would dread her visits so thats that but I'm cross she knows cause she'll always ask me about how i'm doing and I don't want her involved.
Ah well - she may at least be able to help me with my DLA request which has been refused but she said I could get her to write a report for the appeal. AND for the statementing once ds1 has started school so maybe she isn't all bad!!! lOL
Hope everyone is OK this morning, Babynovice, is dp at home with you today? Are you managing today?

Take care guys and queenflounce must be working hard atm due to her quiet disposition .

Sax - Just replied on the other thread. The weekly visits can really help, but you're right, if you don't get along then you won't get any benefit from it. Could you ask for a different HV??? Maybe you could feel more relaxed with a total stranger?
At the beginning of your recovery its sometimes nice to know you won't be going longer than a week before being able to talk to someone in the medical profession who can answer queries on the AD's or anything really!

But then again.... that's what MN is here for!