I am frightened to talk to my counsellor about this

[twoisplenty]

I have been seeing a counsellor for 5 sessions. It has been ok so far, but last week I finally blurted out that I have a problem with anxiety around food. I didn't say much more.

But I had anorexia years ago, and never talked about it to anyone (even my mum) except for a counsellor who helped me out of the mire.

It feels so frightening to talk about this. It is such a private thing.

And it is a shock to me that, now I have been honest with myself, that I do have a problem. Not the same as before, but still have issues around food and eating enough etc.

How am I going to get through the next session? I am just in shock and so scared.

The counsellor did ask me if my avoiding eating had anything to do with control. Well, no it doesn't (it definitely used to) but it does have a lot to do with coping.

It is past midnight and I am wide awake. So worried. I am not seeing her until Thursday.

Thanks for reading.

no no, the ed won't necessarily be there for years - it's a symptom, not the cause. Actually there is an answer but it costs money and it's up to you to take it or not - there are a few other types of "therapy" that might help with the ED more quickly. TFT or EFT (both quite similar) are both good for this kind of thing, and for trauma release etc. Or, if DIY techniques aren't your thing (they teach you how to do this thing called "tapping" whenever you start to feel "wrong" and it is supposed to make you feel more "right" again) then you could find an NLP therapist. NLP is an amazingly powerful therapy that can get to the root of your problem without a lot of chat; sometimes you don't even need to name your problem. I call it brainwashing because it is literally cleaning all the crap out of your brain that causes all the "wrong" behaviour/thoughts, and replacing it with shiny new behaviours and thoughts that are more "right". You don't want a life coach though - you want an NLP therapist. Life coaches tend to be a bit more gungho about "fixing" you.

EFT can take a lot of the fear out of a situation as well, hence why it has its uses in PTSD, for victims of violence or crime, etc.

Look here for EFT
Look here for TFT
Look here for NLP

I can certify that NLP is fantastic - I am a trained Master PRactitioner in it but had to undergo several of the processes and it is deep, man. It got rid of several overhanging paranoid behaviours I had had for YEARS and made me more secure in myself. If you find the right therapist, it could work wonders for you and WILL be much quicker - but unlike rapid weight loss, the change will be permanent, because it creates new brain patterns for you and thus changes your behaviour forever.

It's not going to fix everything in one go, don't get me wrong, and I doubt it will do it in time for your holiday - but be openminded about it, give it a go - it may be the answer you are looking for.

(your counsellor might not like the idea, btw - remember that it will take away work from her/(him?))

Well said thumbwitch

It was me doing an NLP course that opened up my box and I then saw the trainer privately (who is also a master practitioner and trainer in NLP).

They have acieved more in 2 months than the other therapists did in 2 years.

I would advise anyone going this route though to thoroughly mnake sure the practitioner is experienced in therapy rather than business coaching. make sure they have experience of therapy.

What county are you in twoisplenty?

Google nlp therapist

twoisplenty

How are you? Are things getting better or are you just managing?

Hope you are well

ADQ

Thank you for your thoughts ADQ and thank you Thumbwitch for the info on different therapy.

Well, since Saturday I am feeling so much better (thankfully). Such a relief. Firstly the anxiety ebbed away. Then I found I could eat small amounts with no fear attached to it. Wonderful. So now I am eating at the table with my family, small amounts, and feeling ok. Just in time for my holiday! Two days to go... I have researched what food is available, and thankfully it would seem that, whilst burgers and fries are still abundant, there are healthy options. So I should find things that I am comfortable with.

My energy has returned, I was feeling pretty weak last week. I lost over a stone in weight in a short time. It will take ages to put that back on.

Also my counsellor has warned me that I may return to ed again during therapy so just to be aware. I don't want to do that again!! She has told me to text her while I am away to keep her informed and chat if need be. That's reassuring. But I think (hope) I am over the worst for now. Utter relief.

I won't write too much more before I go, and I won't be back online until November. Happy holidays to me!

Great to hear that.

Have a fantastic time and hopefully talk to you in November.